Well, this isn't from basic, but selection. When we were getting on the bus to head to Glencourse everyone sat down on their own a few seats away from the other lads and the corporal quipped: "Don't be shy lads - your mother wasn't!", which roused a few laughs.
Sgt Instr. on inspecting a recruit's ears:
"I can see enough wax inside your ears to make a waxwork model of you & all your spots"
Another one from the same Sgt:
"You are so ugly you make Quasimodo look like Cary Grant".
Before a pass off parade.
Pte smith "Cpl ash, do we have to wear army underwear for this parade"
Answer " What do you think smith, do you really believe that the CO is going to ask you to drop your trousers?
Only thing which made me laugh pretty badly was well actual i laughed when i got outside but anyway was at selection, we were just getting our train tickets to go home after final interviews. i was in front of the guy he was going paras so i caught was said when walking out.
Him: bla bla.
Sgt: Where ever he was going home to.
Him: Yes, Thank you Sgt.
Me: Looks back hes still standing there.
Sgt: Looks ups, "Well fcuk off then!"
Ref One F**ng Sausage above (and no disrespect except loads to the slops in Fermanagh (Who I might add looked after us brilliantly in Telic 1 only days after the 'invasion' - SE Fermanagh 1987 (again) Post OP job and ferking soaked thru and freezing, stood in cookhouse queue at 0430 in Angelo base, still dripping wet, brew in hand, said slop (you're not all bad lads!) of fairly monumental size and of a particularly rosey hue from being in the warm all night - and we new where his sleeping bag was! 'One sausage you cnut - we've been here all night!' Resultant make up of hot beans and bruises was not a pleasant sight but all the cookhouse thought was well deserved. Next night tho' what a brilliant meal and much humility from said FB! Top bloke!