One free animal kill

#1
I've shot a couple of foxes this weekend, and it got me thinking about what other animals I'd like to kill.

The list got quite exhaustive but I think I've narrowed it down to two types.

1. The Flamingo, it would just be stood there, on one leg, thinking flamingo stuff and I'd leap out on it, in my urban pursuit underpants and simply kick it to death in a frenzied act of frenzied ultra violence. The shock would make all its flamingo pals panic, but because I'm restrained I'd only knack one.

2. The sea lion, preferably a performing one, as it leapt out of the water to grab a ball, or a fish or whatever sea lions grab I'd just lean forward and slapping its back with gripper rod before chasing it around using the slash and drag method on its back this time in my seagoing pursuit pants, ensuring I was covered in its entrails.

If you could kill an animal, free from reprisals, what would it be?
 
#3
I think the only ones I'd have a chance to keep up with would be a sloth or a koala.

I wonder if smaller animals would find the punch from a tazer to be fatal? Could be interesting to watch
 
#5
An Otter or a Seal pup will do for me; if only to see the "antis" get stressed.
 
#6
A Panda!! What a waste of space. Why are we protecting an animal that wont even fuck to preserve it's species?

I'd love to just strangle on of the fucker at the zoo, so all the hippies and kids could watch from the other side of the glass.

AND on the plus side, I'd dine out on being able to tell people that I killed a bare with my bear hands. Fuck yeah!
 
#7
A dolphin.
Supposedly more clever than humans.
Bollocks! Not clever enough to get out of tuna nets, are they?
When was the last dolphin on the moon as well?

Fcuking Flipper ruined my childhood with it's click-click clicking as well.

"Whats that Flipper? The kids are trapped in the old wreck?"
"Click, clickety, click"

Fcuk off & die in an oil spill.
 
#8
Seahorses.

Don't ask me why, I just think it would be fun to sit down at a roundabout with a bucket full of the little buggers, pick them out one by one and hoy them at passing cars
 
#9
I'd kill a baby seal for Jesus.
 
#10
Good luck on trying to strangle a panda!

I think you'd be better tazering its snout first before laying into it.

How about dropping a flag stone on a sleeping lemur?
 
#11
Mighty_doh_nut said:
2. The sea lion, preferably a performing one, as it leapt out of the water to grab a ball, or a fish or whatever sea lions grab I'd just lean forward and slapping its back with gripper rod before chasing it around using the slash and drag method on its back this time in my seagoing pursuit pants, ensuring I was covered in its entrails.
One is assuming that this would be a sea lion pup as opposed to the fcuking huge mental and murderous beasts inhabiting isles south?

But I digress; I'd like to kill a wildebeest ... why not, just about every other fcuking creature gets to kill one.
 
#12
Gungythree said:
Meerkats,the little baskits even get on telly,smug little gits they are :)
Ditto!! That little b*tard that does the adverts should be the first to get it...sold me duff insurance..littlecnut! :x
 
#13
Hat20 said:
Gungythree said:
Meerkats,the little baskits even get on telly,smug little gits they are :)
Ditto!! That little b*tard that does the adverts should be the first to get it...sold me duff insurance..littlecnut! :x
Bloke down the pub just found out his wife has bought one. £500! Apparently it's not even as big as a ferret.
 
#14
Hat20 said:
Gungythree said:
Meerkats,the little baskits even get on telly,smug little gits they are :)
Ditto!! That little b*tard that does the adverts should be the first to get it...sold me duff insurance..littlecnut! :x
I smell a fib. It is clear from extensive study of the tellybox that Meerkats DO NOT sell insurance. However, I can't bring myself to write the website name to confirm this.
 
#15
Snakes all the f**kers tried it with a slr extremely satisfying ,also cant see the point of them except as a comparison ie`that cnut is so lo he can walk under a snakes belly with a top hat on`
 
#16
A Dodo. Just so I could how the usual unwashed freaks from Greenpeace and such organisations react when they discover that the Dodo wasn't extinct, but I'd shagged, killed, cooked and eaten the last one (I may have to maim and kill any others first of course) and then I'll send them my poo in the post.
 
#18
For me, it has to be the Andrex puppy, Smug cnut running off with the roll when you need it most.

Method 1

Force tube up the hoop of said puppy, then feed razor wire up the tube, remove tube leaving length of razor wire protruding, tie end of razor wire to fixed object on top of multi storey car park, then throw puppy off the top, and watch gleefully as it turns inside out on the end of said razor wire as it tightens.


Method 2

Douse said toilet roll in petrol or other highly flammable liquid, let puppy run off playfully like it does wrapped in said roll, the set light and watch the cnut burn.


Method 3

Tie puppy into a hesian sack, and play football with it until dead.




All give the same end result, so work for me :)
 
#19
EX_STAB said:
Hat20 said:
Gungythree said:
Meerkats,the little baskits even get on telly,smug little gits they are :)
Ditto!! That little b*tard that does the adverts should be the first to get it...sold me duff insurance..littlecnut! :x
Bloke down the pub just found out his wife has bought one. £500! Apparently it's not even as big as a ferret.
but which one would win a cage fight? My money is on the ferret.
 
#20
A Ram, killed with an electric carving knife.

In revenge for the fractured leg I got of one of the cnuts when I was 15.
 

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