One for the sailors.....

Discussion in 'Armed Forces Jokes' started by vinniethemanxcat, Sep 1, 2012.

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  1. Once upon a time there was a famous sea captain. This captain was very successful at what he did; for years he guided merchant ships all over the world. Never did stormy seas or pirates get the best of him. He was admired by his crew and fellow captains.

    However, there was one thing different about this captain.

    Every morning he went through a strange ritual. He would lock himself in his captain’s quarters and open a small safe. In the safe was an envelope with a piece of paper inside. He would stare at the paper for a minute, and then lock it back up. Afterwards he went about his daily duties.

    For years this went on and his crew became very curious. Was it a treasure map? Was it a letter from a long lost love?

    Everyone speculated about the contents of the strange envelope.

    One day the captain died at sea. After laying the captain’s body to rest, the first mate led the entire crew into the captain’s quarters.

    He opened the safe, got the envelope, opened it and the first mate turned pale and showed the paper to the others.

    Four words were on the paper, two on two lines: Port Left, Starboard Right.
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Thats a new one!!
  3. Is it?
  4. Wah!
  5. Oh dear.. you got me!!!
    • Like Like x 1
  6. A Navy Destroyer stops four Muslims in a row boat, rowing towards England . "The captain gets on the loud haler and shouts
    "Ahoy, small craft, where are you heading?"
    One of the Muslims stands up and shouts,
    "We are invading the UK!"
    The crew of the Destroyer all start laughing and when the captain finally stops laughing, he gets back on the loud haler and says
    "Just the four of you?"
    The Muslim stands up again and shouts,
    "No, we're the last four. The rest are already there!"

    • Like Like x 2
  7. That one's better, the first one was shite
  8. Would really help if they stopped talking in stupid nautical terms and just spoke plain english!