One for the Girls...

#1
The World of Romance

In the world of romance, one single rule applies:

Make the woman happy.

Do something she likes and you get points.

Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

Sorry, but that's the way the game is played..

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)

In the rain (+8)

But return with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

It's her pet (-10)


SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college/work
buddy(-2)

Named Tina (-4)

Tina is a dancer (-6)

Tina has silicon implants (-80)


HER BIRTHDAY:

You take her out to dinner (0)

You take her out to dinner and it's NOT a sports bar (+1)

Okay, it IS a sports bar (-2)

And it's 'all-you-can-eat' night(-3)

It's a sports bar, it's 'all-you-can-eat night', and your face is
painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT:

You take her to a movie (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes (+4)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)


YOUR PHYSIQUE:

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts (-30)

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION:

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Any other response (-20)


COMMUNICATION:

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what
looks like a concerned expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)




Now what chance do you have???
 
#8
blessed baby cakes said:
whistler said:
I have a theory......
None of those Dwarves are suitably armed with big fuff off sharp kitchen knives to be a true representation of PMT dwarves.......

Beebs ;)
LOL wouldn't we need to add a few more Dwarves then such as evil, crazy, and If you come any closer i'll....





P.s. Anywhere near to pushing her out yet? x
 
#9
Officers_bird said:
blessed baby cakes said:
whistler said:
I have a theory......
None of those Dwarves are suitably armed with big fuff off sharp kitchen knives to be a true representation of PMT dwarves.......

Beebs ;)
LOL wouldn't we need to add a few more Dwarves then such as evil, crazy, pscho and If you come any closer i'll....





P.s. Anywhere near to pushing her out yet? x
Damn....i presume that by your presence, I lost the sweepsteaks.....
 
#10
Micky_Dees said:
Officers_bird said:
blessed baby cakes said:
whistler said:
I have a theory......
None of those Dwarves are suitably armed with big fuff off sharp kitchen knives to be a true representation of PMT dwarves.......

Beebs ;)
LOL wouldn't we need to add a few more Dwarves then such as evil, crazy, pscho and If you come any closer i'll....





P.s. Anywhere near to pushing her out yet? x
Damn....i presume that by your presence, I lost the sweepsteaks.....
:( I'm tempted to post a picture just so you all know how miserable I am the little witch is still hiding....... She's HUGE!

Beebs :(
 
#11
ahh chick, i feel for you, apart from the shagging which you posted earlier have you tried baths, walking, curry? all meant to help...

cheer up it'll be worth... i think x ;)
 
#12
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV.

Two hopes!! Bob Hope and no hope.

Unless it's porn in which case we'd be both watching it and Id be listening to you talking proper dirty in my ear.
 
#13
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV.

Two hopes!! Bob Hope and no hope.

Unless it's porn in which case we'd be both watching it and Id be listening to you talking proper dirty in my ear.
 
#15
officers Bird. You know I could behave in as dispicable way as possible and you would still be grateful. Now go and do something constructive.
 
#16
Lairdx said:
officers Bird. You know I could behave in as dispicable way as possible and you would still be grateful. Now go and do something constructive.
We can see by your avatar youre cheap Laird. Youre every woman's dream. Get ready for some action!! Then again...........Are they still enrolling at youre charm school? Didnt think so.
 
#17
Wildeyes1 said:
Lairdx said:
officers Bird. You know I could behave in as dispicable way as possible and you would still be grateful. Now go and do something constructive.
We can see by your avatar youre cheap Laird. Youre every woman's dream. Get ready for some action!! Then again...........Are they still enrolling at youre charm school? Didnt think so.
Your opinion was not asked for nor is it valued. Everyone else knows I'm a big lovely. My new avatar is not cheap. It's economical... ...like my willy.
 
#18
Lairdx said:
Wildeyes1 said:
Lairdx said:
officers Bird. You know I could behave in as dispicable way as possible and you would still be grateful. Now go and do something constructive.
We can see by your avatar youre cheap Laird. Youre every woman's dream. Get ready for some action!! Then again...........Are they still enrolling at youre charm school? Didnt think so.
Your opinion was not asked for nor is it valued. Everyone else knows I'm a big lovely. My new avatar is not cheap. It's economical... ...like my willy.
Whoa easy tiger!! I can see Ive hit a nerve and not a big one judging by your reaction. You get more for your money at Tesco's, it just means the quality isnt quite as good. God loves you trying though ha ha!!
 
#19
Fcuk me you're witty. I find quick witted women such a turn on too. Sadly I only couple with posh crumpet and that aint you.
 
#20
Lairdx said:
Fcuk me you're witty. I find quick witted women such a turn on too. Sadly I only couple with posh crumpet and that aint you.
What? I thought it was a guy!
 

Similar threads

Latest Threads

Top