One for the boffins of Arrse!

#1
I have a question which has puzzled me for a long time! I've been pondering it for...oooh...a good 10 minutes now. You'se lot are meant to be dead clever and know important shit so I'll ask you.

My neighbour, an ageing porridge wog, grows his own veg and has recently given myself and my housemate a huge pumpkin or two, so we've had pumpkin soup, pumpkin pie, curried pumpkin, bacon and pumpkin rissotto etc etc. Now, given that I'm a heifer and she has IBS, you can imagine we have made a fairly significant input to global warming of late. And by FUCK, they're rancid! Even the cat gave us a look of horrified disdain and left the room last night!

But what I want to know is this...


Why does the presence of water cause such a dramatic change in the smell of farts? Bathtime farts have a smell all of their own, but this morning I noticed that even letting rip in the shower smells different!

Can one of you boffs explain to me what happens to a botty-guff as it passes through water to cause this? Muchly grassy-arse
 
#2
It's the hydrogen sulfide in your fart reacting with the chlorine in the water.
 
#5
You have explained one thing though BB, theres been an increase of Tsunami warnings since you started eating the pumpkins.
 
#7
It's the hydrogen sulfide in your fart reacting with the chlorine in the water.
WTF!

Does that mean that by breaching her own emission control policy, Big Bird now farts hydrochloric acid?

Dear god! This isn't a thread. It's the script for the next film in the Alien franchise.

Do you think Sigourney Weaver will pork up to play Big Bird?
 
#8
WTF!


Do you think Sigourney Weaver will pork up to play Big Bird?
They need a chance to pile the pounds on to get up to BBs standard so someone like Dawn French has the initial foundations.
 
#9
Great bit of research Arte et Marte. This is what I miss, the squaddie sense of humour.

bobj
Yes we used to have Fart Lighting contests in our mess, especially if we had curry the night before with lots of Castle! It was interesting to see the size & colour of the different flames, the good thing was, once ignited the smell dissapeared!

As My grandad used to say:-
"I likes to Fart, it gives the belly ease, warms the bed on frosty nights and suffocates the fleas"
 

jim24

LE
Book Reviewer
#10
As I have just necked a Leg of Lamb five bean Casoulet. I'm expecting a similar problem in the near future, but I foolishly let the dogs do the washing up so it looks like a day out tomorrow or complaints from the neighbours about the stench, or a visit from theWMD inspectorate
 
A

allgone2ratsh1t

Guest
#12
I havent really got a clue other than to say that my bathtime farts smell of urine as I piss in the bath. Lovely warm sensation. However I did emit a rancid silent little number earlier when exiting my car (my wife and my daughter were still inside) and I shut the door and went to a cashpoint. Upon opening the door to get back into the car my nostrils were assaulted by afore-mentioned odour I had emitted just a minute earlier. The draft caused by the door opening pushed some of the fart around in the car causing 'er indoors to pass comment that the drains stank. I held my head high.
 
#13
I just like the way the water in the bath bubbles.
 
#14
Farting in the bath is the flatulence equivilent of smoking a hookah pipe. With a bit of trial and error, utilising various bathtime product - some truly awsome flavours can be gotten!

My favourite was the Vosene infused urine filtered Sunday night bath before school in morning fart.

Happy days!
 
#15
if you have a glass jar full of water in the bath with you, it would be possible to catch the bubbles as they are produced. then you could screw the
lid on and have your own bottled gas. I saw a guy collecting marsh gas to test some theory or other on the will o the wisp phenomenon.

the gas is meant to be explosive though !! as well as rank.. so handle with care.

I take no responsibility for the use, or misuse of this knowledge.
 
#16
I suppose a turkey baster could also be used to efficiently extract farts for future study / reference.
 
#18
if you have a glass jar full of water in the bath with you, it would be possible to catch the bubbles as they are produced. then you could screw the
lid on and have your own bottled gas. I saw a guy collecting marsh gas to test some theory or other on the will o the wisp phenomenon.

the gas is meant to be explosive though !! as well as rank.. so handle with care.

I take no responsibility for the use, or misuse of this knowledge.
You could hold a jar upside down over the bubbles to catch it, then put the lid on while the neck of the jar is still submerged!! By golly....I think it could work!!!
I may be gone for a bit!!
 
#19
Heat and humidity have their part to play in the fart fragrance, also your nasal passage will dilate with steam.
As will your anal passage.
 

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