Yesterday, my good lady wife made an Omlette for my tea, about an hour after I ate it, she asked me "What does it mean when you break an egg and it sounds hollow?", no idea I replied, "Well, two of the four eggs I used in your Omlette sounded hollow when I broke them, they didn't smell right either". So, I checked the expiry date on the egg box and was relieved to see they were in date by one day. I took her to work this morning and got back to stag on in the house waiting for the new tumble dryer to arrive, about half eight, I felt a bit dizzy, then let rip a great big stream of yellow coloured vomit, this came along with a horrible dense pain sensation in my gut, I checked my colostomy site and saw the bag not just filling, but lifting away from the skin letting loose a stream of yellow water that went straight down my leg and onto the floor. Thankfully I was in the living room (Laminate flooring, so easy to clean), the pain had me on my knees while I kept trying to chuck up and wipe up the vile smelling watery poo that was on the floor, I have no idea what dogs sense of smell is like, but whatever it is, my dog thought my poo smelt nice and came over for a taste, I was trying to mop it the river of poo up before the dog troughed any more of it but at that time the Comet guy came to the door, I had no alternative but answer it, I got to the door to find two lads with the new tumble dryer on small trolley. Not sure what they thought to find this fat man at the door, top off, a 32cm piece of gut hanging out, trying unsuccesfully to halt a stream of yellow watery poo with non woven swabs who then promptly barfed while they tried to navigate past the yellow puddle on the living room floor, the house stunk, I was covered in shit, the dog had it on her back, it's took an hour to clear up the floor, the dog needs a shower, I need a shower, the house needs airing and two delivery men probably need their eyes bleaching. Moral of the story? If the egg sounds hollow, it's off. I'll never eat another one, well, unless it's in a pie crust or cake.