Olympic themed Fancy dress

#2
Go bollock naked with four sets of false buttocks attached about your person....the five rings !

Coat, hat....
 
#4
Ermine robes, coronet, go as Lord Coe of cock up.

Go naked, but oiled up, to reflect the Greek origins of the event, write 1 on your forehead, and many zeros on your body to reflect the amount of cash we are pissing up the wall for this shite.

Go fully dolled up in Nazi SS kit, with a flaming torch to reflect on the 1936 Olympics where all the opening and closing ceremony bullshit started. If you have a coloured mate take them with you, and refuse to shake hands with them all night; they can give clenched fist black power salutes in return.
 
#5
Take a large bit of scaffolding pole with you.

Then when anyone asks you if you are a pole vaulter

You can say* "No I am German and how did you know my name was walter"

*Dodgy boxhead accent required of course.
 
#8
4 wooden posts, a roll of wire netting and tell people you are a member of the Fencing team.
 
#12
Look as unathletic and seedy as you possibly can, stuff your pockets with brown envelopes and hey presto! A member of the IOC.

Alternatively, be a weedy, humourless, irritable twat all evening = Sebastian Coe.
 
#14
Wear a micro bikini and go as a member of the Russian beach volleyball team.... you might even score. :)
 
#15
Piss and shit your bed for a month and wear that sheet. Hey Presto a toga for minging bastards (yes I speak from experience. You see what happened was........................................)
 
#19
Go dressed in a tracksuit, then after 5 mins disappear to another city without telling your host.
 
#20
Go dressed as the 1972 Black September killers.

You will need a tea cosy with eye holes and some brown leather holdalls.
 

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