Oldies should go back to Uni - a flaw in this cunning plan?

#2


"Look into my eyes, don't look around the eyes, look into the eyes...deep into the eyes.......three....two.....one...you're under, this isn't about money, this is about people, elderly people, this isn't about my mates and their vampire banks, this is about education, this isn't about getting elderly people into debt so we can seize their hard earned property and roll in their savings....oh no, this is about life choices, this is about human potential, that's a good thing, as all the crumbling post baby boom universities, the evil vampire banks, my fellow lodge members and the members of my club agree, that this is not about us lining our pockets....oh no......not this time......no! Three....two.....one.....click! You are back in the room!
 
#3
Just think of all that rampant, teenage tottie just gagging for a man who knows what he's doing.

I could also do with upgrading my Bachelor of Alchemy to something more modern, perhaps involving airship design or steam engines. Do they still have valves inside tellys?
 
#4
Graduated at 36,deferred loan for 14 years (low wage),loan wiped at 50.I guess they must have changed the rules.One guy in my year,aged 60, was refused a student loan.I believe that it was on age grounds.The times they are a'changin'...
 
#5
..........I didn't realize that you could get a degree in Traffic Warden-ing!

Sorry Sir, I've started writing it out now, so will have to finish.
 
#6
Just think of all that rampant, teenage tottie just gagging for a man who knows what he's doing.

I could also do with upgrading my Bachelor of Alchemy to something more modern, perhaps involving airship design or steam engines. Do they still have valves inside tellys?
If you can wait until next July I may be able to give you an onsite report of Uni life for an old knacker.
 
#7
There was a retired judge in the paper a few months ago who was off to Oxford - she'd got her legal quals on the job so had no degree and as hew pension was below the threshold she'll never have to pay the loan back. I quite like the idea of being 65 at uni, though beiong a wstudent again at that age would probably finish me off very quickly
 
#8
WTF. Why not. I'm toying with the idea of an MSc in advanced grave robbing. There's no money in it, I couldn't possibly pay any loan I could blag black. Who cares! At 60+ it's not about what you can do, but what you can squeeze from the F*****g system you've been in hock to for the last 40 years. WTF.
 
#10
Is there a degree in B&Q "no sonny (which isn't as offensive when you are over 50), you need one of these and shit loads of that and it'll still be damp?"
 
#11
What is attractive to me is a so called "Full time course" is actually 3 days a week for 30 weeks first year the 2 days a week 2nd year! ******* idle students , think I`ll be one and I`ll carry on running my business at the same time !
 
#12
Is not the object of the exercise to get the poor old farts thinking they are 19 again. Eating crap, drinking to excess, drugs, dancing, shagging. Three months of that, dead and so no more pension to pay out.




CFB
 
#13
Great. Just what the country needs. A bunch of geriatrics with degrees in Underwater Basket Weaving who dribble on to matron about their PhDs in meeja studees whilst not being able to remember what they had for breakfast. They'll have to install inductive hearing loops and have even bigger blackboards in the lecture rooms. Student halls should be a right laugh, with cries of "Keep the noise down, some of us are trying to get to sleep!" at eight o'clock at night. Not to mention Horlicks outselling beer in the bar.

Still, at least the younger students will get to hear about the mighty SLR! :biggrin:
 
#14

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
#15
I'm taking my gaiters with me! ;-)
don't forget the bit of rope left in your harness when you cut away on the balcony. and the wig on your head you took from an argentine general which is why its the wrong colour.

gaiters indeed.
 
#16
I could also do with upgrading my Bachelor of Alchemy to something more modern, perhaps involving airship design or steam engines. Do they still have valves inside tellys?
There's one in Argricultural Studies, specialising in sheep. You get a BAA on completion :)
Sheep census taker. Tried that one but kept falling asleep.

Coat and hat en route.
 
#17
What a stupid patronising thing to say Mr Willets.
And in this age of equal ops will this make the coffin dodger in their late 70s with a BA in Meja eligible to apply for a graduate trainee position?
Yes Mr Minister I thought not, so lets go legal shall we. This should spice up the employment law sylabus!
 
#18
It is probably being proposed to fill the plethora of spare places that will come about as the new Student Loan scheme slowly but steadily deters more and more young people from embarking on their working life with a Degree but an associated mega loan before they even think of buying property .
 
#19
Personally, I can see this as a most diverting and pleasant way to early retirement.

Bang out on health grounds or whatever at 62.
Go to local uni.
Spend 3 years in the company of highly sexed and nubile young ladies with no dosh.
Enjoy the looks of adulation as you swan in with your new ride and pay for stuff in the refectory with the gold card.
Offer to help young ladies with their studies while sneering at the fay One Directionesque girleymen.
Graduate and collect OAP.
Tell Student Loan Co to do one.

Profit!
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
#20
its a plan to keep unis going while the youth stop their waste of time courses - 9 grand a year for one day a week or even a course where you end up teaching each other. no wonder the kids now realise the value of apprenticeships.

all those ex polytechnics are going to close unless they can do said underwater basket weaving, traffic management and village politics courses.
 

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