Old Songs that would never had been allowed today!

#62
An oldie yet a golden oldie:


And, as with all the best comedies, it succeeds because there is a lot of truth in it.
 
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#63
'Little White Bull' by Tommy Steele,

"When he asked his Momma if a little white bull
Ever had a chance of turning black
His Momma said, you silly little bull, you're a pretty little bull, your my little bull
So please don't ask me why little bull
You just ain't black.........."
I love that song.
 
#65
Save all your kisses for me
Brotherhood of Man.

A song about snogging a 3 year old, what’s wrong with that.
 
#66
Anything by Gary Glitter or the pedo from The Bay City Rollers
Or The Lostprophets.

Here's my suggestion.

"John Wayne is Big Leggy" by Haysi Fantazee.

John Wayne in Lover's Lane, making whoopee with his squaw
But his bullet belt keeps a-gettin' in the way
It's making his life a bore
So she says to him, "Take off that thing"
It's getting right between us
Now listen, honey
I can't do that not even for you
My sweetness
Now Big John
If that's a fact, then how d'you propose we do our act?
If that's the way it's gonna be, get the hell out of my tepee

Now speckled hen
Just stop your squawkin'
Big Bad Rooster's doin' the talking
I know a trick we ought to try
Turn right over, you'll know why


A white guy sodomising a native American.

And it was on Top Of The Pops.

 
#68

I guess the novelty spoken intro took away any attention to anything untoward. Even though this was on TOTP, and many radio stations, the BBC did ban it due to the drug and homosexuality references. They'd probably sing it from the rooftops, now, if it were not for the bit about a Native American prepared to bend over for the Kemo Sabe.
 
#69
Did the BBC ban this classic from 1970?


The song is said to have been based on a real life encounter between one of the Kinks and a "Tranny." Whatever the truth of that, and as well as being a catchy tune, the song proved to be a harbinger of modern times and mores.
 
#70
Save all your kisses for me
Brotherhood of Man.

A song about snogging a 3 year old, what’s wrong with that.
Or indeed this one by Gilbert O'Sullivan:

 

Longlenny

War Hero
Book Reviewer
#72
My Mrs was born in Rhodesia 66 years ago, we were recently clearing some long held junk. We found a pile of old records from her childhood, one of them was called 'Ach, Pleeze Daddie'. It was all about a little girl going down to the shops with her dad and the kid asking for some sweets. The sweets in question were called N×+gerBalls. It appears the the said N+×ger Balls were like our Gobstoppers. Playing the record again after all these years caused great hilarity and some embarrassment, not least because she is now a vicar. How life has changed.
 
#73
Various versions of barnacle bill the sailor exist, here’s a couple




Who is knocking at my door,"
Said the fair young maiden.
"Who is knocking at my door,"
Said the fair young maiden.


"Open the door and let me in,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor;
"Open the door and let me in,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.


"You may sleep upon the floor,"
Said the fair young maiden.
"To hell with the floor, I can't **** that,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.


"You may lie down at my side,"
Said the fair young maiden.
"To hell with your side, I can't **** that,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.


"You may lie between my thighs,"
Said the fair young maiden.
"What've you got between your thighs?"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.


"O, I've got a nice pin-cushion,"
Said the fair young maiden.
"And I've got a pin that will just fit in,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.


"But what if we have a baby?"
Said the fair young maiden.
"Strangle the bastard and throw him away,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.


"But what about the law, sir,"
Said the fair young maiden.
"Kick the bleeders out on their ass,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.


"But what if there's an inquest?"
Said the fair young maiden.
"Then shove the inquest up your ****,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.


"And what about my paw and maw?"
Said the fair young maiden.
"**** your maw, and bugger your paw,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.


"Whenever shall I see you?"
Said the fair young maiden.
"Whenever shall I see you?"
Said the fair young maiden.


"Never no more you dirty whore,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.
"Never no more you dirty whore,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.
Various versions of barnacle bill the sailor exist, here’s a couple




Who is knocking at my door,"
Said the fair young maiden.
"Who is knocking at my door,"
Said the fair young maiden.


"Open the door and let me in,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor;
"Open the door and let me in,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.


"You may sleep upon the floor,"
Said the fair young maiden.
"To hell with the floor, I can't **** that,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.


"You may lie down at my side,"
Said the fair young maiden.
"To hell with your side, I can't **** that,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.


"You may lie between my thighs,"
Said the fair young maiden.
"What've you got between your thighs?"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.


"O, I've got a nice pin-cushion,"
Said the fair young maiden.
"And I've got a pin that will just fit in,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.


"But what if we have a baby?"
Said the fair young maiden.
"Strangle the bastard and throw him away,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.


"But what about the law, sir,"
Said the fair young maiden.
"Kick the bleeders out on their ass,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.


"But what if there's an inquest?"
Said the fair young maiden.
"Then shove the inquest up your ****,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.


"And what about my paw and maw?"
Said the fair young maiden.
"**** your maw, and bugger your paw,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.


"Whenever shall I see you?"
Said the fair young maiden.
"Whenever shall I see you?"
Said the fair young maiden.


"Never no more you dirty whore,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.
"Never no more you dirty whore,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.

I was going to post a comment on this fine example of RN ditty... thanks for the early posts. I always heard it sung as Barnacle Bill (rather than Ballochy Bill). It is, indeed, a tribute to those old hearts of oak who composed it.

The infamous (unpardonable) lines in my version (Fleet Air Arm approved) are;

What if we should have a child?
What if we should have a child?
What if we should have a child?
Cried the fair Young Maiden.

We'll kill the bugger
And **** for another
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor
Kill the bugger...
and **** for another...
Said Barnacle Bill... the Sailor.

Prior to that are verses including;

Who's that knocking at my door?
Who's that knocking at my door?
Who's that knocking at my door?
Cried the Fair Young Maiden.

It's only me from across the sea
Cried Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
Only me... for across the sea.
Cried Barnacle Bill... the Sailor.

You may sleep upon my mat
You may sleep upon my mat
You may sleep upon my mat
Cried the fair young maiden.

O bugger your mat I want your twat
Cried Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
Bugger your mat... I want your twat.
Cried barnacle Bill... the Sailor.

You may sleep beside my granny
You may sleep beside my granny
You may sleep beside my granny
Cried the Fair Young Maiden.

O bugger your garnny
I want your fanny
Cried Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
Bugger you granny... I want your fanny.
Cried Barnacle Bill... the Sailor.

You may sleep upon the stairs.
You may sleep upon the stairs.
You may sleep upon the stairs.
Cried the Fair Young Maiden.

O bugger your stairs I want your hairs... etc.

Repeat ad infinitum.
 
#74
Just in case you didn't realise in the Beautiful South song Perfect 10, he is talking about body size, while she is talking about cock size?

Perfect 10
The Beautiful South
She's a perfect 10, but she wears a 12
Baby keep a little 2 for me
She could be sweet 16, bustin' out at the seams
It's still love in the first degree
When he's at my gate, with a big fat 8
You want to see the smile on my face
And even at my door, with a poor poor 4
There ain't no man can replace

'Cause we love our love,
in different sizes
I love her body, especially the lies
Time takes it's toll, but not on the eyes
Promise me this, take me tonight
If he's extra large well I'm in charge
I can work this thing on top
If he's XXL well what the hell
Every penny don't fit the slot

The anorexic chicks, the model 6
They don't hold no weight with me
Well 8 or 9, well that's just fine
But I like to hold something I can see
'Cause we love our love,
in different sizes
I love her body, especially the lies
Time takes it's toll, but not on the eyes
Promise me this, take me tonight
I've bought a watch, to time your beauty
But I've had to fit a second hand
I've bought a calendar, and every month
Is taken up by lover man
'Cause we love our love,
in different sizes
I love her body, especially the lies
Time takes it's toll, but not on the eyes
Promise me this, take me tonight
'Cause we love our love, in different sizes
I love her body, especially the lies
Time takes it's toll, but not on the eyes
Promise me this, take me tonight
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
#75
Not Now John
Pink Floyd
Fúck all that we've got to get on with these
Gotta compete with the wily Japanese
There's too many home fires burning
And not enough trees
So fúck all that
We've go to get on with these
Can't stop!
Lose job!
Mind gone!
Silicon!
What bomb?
Get away!
Pay day!
Make hay!
Break down!
Need fix.
Big six.
Clickity click.
Hold on!
Oh no,
Bring bingo!
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em cry
Make 'em dance in the aisles
Make 'em pay
Make 'em stay
Make 'em feel okay
Not nah John
We've got to get on with the film show
Hollywood waits at the end of the rainbow
Who cares what it's about
As long as the kids go?
Not now John we've
Got to get on with the show
Hang on John I've got to get on with this
I don't know what it is
But it fits on here like
Come at the end of the shift
We'll go and get p¡ssed
Not now John
I've got to get on with this
Hold on John
I think there's something good on
I used to read books but
It could be the news
Or some other amusement
It could be reusable shows
Fúck all that we've got to get on with these
Got to compete with the wily Japanese
No need to worry about the Vietnamese
Got to bring the Russian Bear to his knees
Well, maybe not the Russian Bear
Maybe the Swedes
We showed Argentina
Now let's go and show these
Make us feel tough
And wouldn't Maggie be pleased?
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah!
S'cusi dove il bar
(What?)
Se para collo pou eine toe bar
s'il vous plait ou est le bar
(Say it in English!)
Oi, where's the fúcking bar John?
(Oh, now you're talking!)\"
Oh! Rule Britannia! Britannia rules the day
Down!
Go, Maggie!
Hammer, Hammer, Hammer, Hammer, now!
 
#76
More from Pink Floyd/Roger Waters


Taken out of context it's enough to give snowflakes Brain Damage (see what I did there? ;-))

In The Flesh

So ya
Thought ya
Might like to
Go to the show.

To feel that warm thrill of confusion,
That space cadet glow.
I've got some bad news for you sunshine,
Pink isn't well, he stayed back at the hotel
And they sent us along as a surrogate band
We're gonna find out where you fans really stand.

Are there any queers in the theater tonight?
Get them up against the wall!
There's one in the spotlight, he don't look right to me,
Get him up against the wall!
That one looks Jewish!
And that one's a coon!
Who let all of this riff-raff into the room?
There's one smoking a joint,
And another with spots!
If I had my way,
I'd have all of you shot!
 
#77
My Mrs was born in Rhodesia 66 years ago, we were recently clearing some long held junk. We found a pile of old records from her childhood, one of them was called 'Ach, Pleeze Daddie'. It was all about a little girl going down to the shops with her dad and the kid asking for some sweets. The sweets in question were called N×+gerBalls. It appears the the said N+×ger Balls were like our Gobstoppers. Playing the record again after all these years caused great hilarity and some embarrassment, not least because she is now a vicar. How life has changed.
‘...
N****r balls and licquorice,
Pepsi Cola, ginger beer and Canada Dry.’
 
#78
Verse 6 of the National Anthem goes down well north of Carlisle ...

Lord grant that Marshal Wade

May by thy mighty aid

Victory bring.

May he sedition hush,

And like a torrent rush,

Rebellious Scots to crush.

God save the King !
 
#79
My Mrs was born in Rhodesia 66 years ago, we were recently clearing some long held junk. We found a pile of old records from her childhood, one of them was called 'Ach, Pleeze Daddie'. It was all about a little girl going down to the shops with her dad and the kid asking for some sweets. The sweets in question were called N×+gerBalls. It appears the the said N+×ger Balls were like our Gobstoppers. Playing the record again after all these years caused great hilarity and some embarrassment, not least because she is now a vicar. How life has changed.
I've got an old recording of an evening with Spike Milligan, there was a guy singing this very song on it. The recording dates from the 70s and even then you can hear the hesitation when 'Ni**erballs comes up, despite the singer explaining beforehand what they were.

'Ach pleeze daddy can you take us off to J'burg
It's only four hours in the Chevrolet'

I've always been surprised that 'Every breath you take' that ode to stalkers and control freaks is played at so many weddings.

'Saturday night's (alright for fighting' A song glorifying sexism, alcohol abuse and knife crime seems to be played very little these days.
 
#80
Been a while since the Stones sang Some Girls.

“Black Girls just wanna het fucked all night, I don’t believe I’ve got that much jam”

And even longer since they did Star ******

“I bet you keep your pussy clean”.
 

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