Old Songs that would never had been allowed today!

#41
Fair enough; amended. With your diatribe above, you managed to hit pretty much every stereotypical piece of propaganda, though I'm surprised you missed the opportunity to use 'frisp'.
Well don’t just hit your little gimp buttons, give me a counter point of view. It’s a cliché but clichés are clichés because they’re usually usually true. As a Bonny Prince Charlie fanboi tell my why you don’t consider him a **** of the greatest magnitude.
By the way, my post was intended to be slightly tongue-in-cheek, sorry you missed that.
 
#42
Roy Orbison "I drove all night". Broke into her house, woke her up then shagged her?

I had to escape, The city was sticky and cruel
Maybe I should have called you first
But I was dying to get to you
I was dreaming while I drove
The long straight road ahead
Uh-huh, yeah
Could taste your sweet kisses, your arms open wide
This fever for you was just burning me up inside
I drove all night to get to you
Is that all right?
I drove all night, crept in your room
Woke you from your sleep to make love to you
Is that all right?
I drove all night

Read more: Roy Orbison - I Drove All Night Lyrics | MetroLyrics
 
#46
The Stranglers ... I feel like a _og.
I’ve only got nine months until I retire so I’m not writing anymore than that.
 
#47
#48
Jim'll Fix It for You ♪

Your Letter was only the start of it
One letter and now your part of it
Now you've done it, you've gone and asked for it
Jim has fixed it for you
And you and you and the dead one

They must be something that you always want to do (to him)
The one one thing that you always want to do (to him)
Now you've done it, you're practically begging for it
Jim has fucked you
And you and you and you

Jim has touched it for you
And you and you and you

Jim has fixed it for you
And you and you and you
And now you're in counselling
Can't sleep at night and freak at the smell of a Cigar



*Some of these lyrics may not be true
 
#49
Don't jump off the roof, dad, you'll make a hole in the yard
Mum's just planted petunias, and they're not all that far apart
Don't jump off the roof, dad, think what a mess it would make
Just take a walk to the park, dad, and there you can jump in the lake.

Tommy Cooper, 1960 ish, way before Derek and Clive's " Jump, you ******, jump"
 
#50
Apparently even white Southerners got a chuckle out of this one during the American Civil War, although doubtless things weren't all that funny at the time. It was written in an exaggerated dialect by the songwriter Henry C Work. (c 1862)

Kingdom Coming


Say, darkies, hab you seen de massa, wid de muffstash on his face,​
Go long de road some time dis mornin', like he gwine to leab de place?​
He seen a smoke way up de ribber, whar de Linkum gunboats lay;​
He took his hat, and lef' berry sudden, and I spec' he's run away!​
CHORUS:​
De massa run, ha, ha! De darkey stay, ho, ho!​
It mus' be now de kingdom coming, an' de year ob Jubilo!​
He six foot one way, two foot tudder, and he weigh tree hundred pound,​
His coat so big, he couldn't pay the tailor, an' it won't go halfway round.​
He drill so much dey call him Cap'n, an' he got so drefful tanned,​
I spec' he try an' fool dem Yankees for to tink he's contraband.​
CHORUS​
De darkeys feel so lonesome libbing in de loghouse on de lawn,​
Dey move dar tings into massa's parlor for to keep it while he's gone.​
Dar's wine an' cider in de kitchen, an' de darkeys dey'll have some;​
I s'pose dey'll all be cornfiscated when de Linkum sojers come.​
CHORUS​
De oberseer he make us trouble, an' he dribe us round a spell;​
We lock him up in de smokehouse cellar, wid de key trown in de well.​
De whip is lost, de han'cuff broken, but de massa'll hab his pay;​
He's ole enough, big enough, ought to known better dan to went an' run away.​
 
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#51
Various versions of barnacle bill the sailor exist, here’s a couple




Who is knocking at my door,"
Said the fair young maiden.
"Who is knocking at my door,"
Said the fair young maiden.

"Open the door and let me in,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor;
"Open the door and let me in,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.

"You may sleep upon the floor,"
Said the fair young maiden.
"To hell with the floor, I can't **** that,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.

"You may lie down at my side,"
Said the fair young maiden.
"To hell with your side, I can't **** that,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.

"You may lie between my thighs,"
Said the fair young maiden.
"What've you got between your thighs?"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.

"O, I've got a nice pin-cushion,"
Said the fair young maiden.
"And I've got a pin that will just fit in,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.

"But what if we have a baby?"
Said the fair young maiden.
"Strangle the bastard and throw him away,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.

"But what about the law, sir,"
Said the fair young maiden.
"Kick the bleeders out on their ass,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.

"But what if there's an inquest?"
Said the fair young maiden.
"Then shove the inquest up your ****,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.

"And what about my paw and maw?"
Said the fair young maiden.
"**** your maw, and bugger your paw,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.

"Whenever shall I see you?"
Said the fair young maiden.
"Whenever shall I see you?"
Said the fair young maiden.

"Never no more you dirty whore,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.
"Never no more you dirty whore,"
Said Ballochy Bill the sailor.
 

greyfergie

MIA
Book Reviewer
#58
[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.870588)]Moonshiner's Daughter
Hayseed Dixie[/COLOR]

It was a lovely day for a wedding
And the folks were all dressed in black
When she said "I do, " I said "me too"
With a shotgun pointed at my back
I married a moonshiner's daughter
How could I go wrong?
'Cause the moonshiner's daughter cooks up corn and water
And makes me liquor all night long
Well, the preacher was as drunk as he could get, lord
And her brothers and her dad were too, of course
Her mom whispered in my ear, "if she don't satisfy you, dear
Just come on down and get you some at the source."
I married a moonshiner's daughter
How could I go wrong?
'Cause the moonshiner's daughter cooks up corn and water
And makes me liquor all night long
We had our honeymoon in Nashville
Got a room down on Dickerson Pike
When the desk clerk, he asked me, "how old is she?"
I said, "old enough to know just what I like"
I married a moonshiner's daughter
How could I go wrong?
'Cause the moonshiner's daughter cooks up corn and water
And makes me liquor all night long
 
#60
I remember an episode of The Goodies, in which they were singing a version of Land Of Hope And Glory. The lyrics went:

Land ob hope and glory,
Mamee ob da free...


As they sang the second line, there was a big jazz hands for "Mamee".
 

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