Old Songs that would never had been allowed today!

#1
Was looking through "Controversial Album Artwork" earlier on MSN and drifted off to think about songs of old that would never have seen the light of day in these "modern PC offend no-one" days.

I offer "Thank Heaven for Little Girls" by Maurice Chevalier:

Thank heaven for little girls
for little girls get bigger every day!

Thank heaven for little girls
they grow up in the most delightful way!

Those little eyes so helpless and appealing
one day will flash and send you crashin' thru the ceilin'

Thank heaven for little girls
thank heaven for them all,
no matter where no matter who
for without them, what would little boys do?

Thank heaven... thank heaven...
Thank heaven for little girls!
 
#5
Benny Mardones - "Into the Night"

♫ She's just sixteen years old
Leave her alone, they say
Separated by fools
Who don't know what love is yet
But I want you to know

If I could fly
I'd pick you up
I'd take you into the night
And show you a love
Like you've never seen, ever seen ♫

He was 33 when he wrote it, fantasizing about his neighbours 16 yr old daughter. Legal, but not then in the US.
 
#6
'Little White Bull' by Tommy Steele,

"When he asked his Momma if a little white bull
Ever had a chance of turning black
His Momma said, you silly little bull, you're a pretty little bull, your my little bull
So please don't ask me why little bull
You just ain't black.........."
 
#7
Billy K Kramer - "Little Children"

♫ Little children, you better not tell on me...
I'm tellin' you.
Little children, you better not tell what you see...
And if you're good...
I'll give you candy and a quarter
If you're quiet like you oughta be
And keep a secret with me

I wish they would go away
Little children, now why aren't you playin' outside
I'm askin' you
You can't fool me, 'cause I'm gonna know if you hide
And try to peek
I'm gonna treat you to a movie
Stop your gigglin', children do be nice
Like little sugars and spice

You saw me kissin' your sister, you saw me holdin' her hand
But if you snitch to your mother, your father won't understand ♫


Always uneasy about this one.
I know what's it about, but bribing kids to stay quiet so they don't see him shagging/kissing their Sister . . . . :pale:
 
#8
THE SUN HAS GOT HIS HAT ON

The sun has got his hat on, hip-hip-hip-hooray
The sun has got his hat on and he’s coming out today
Now we’ll all be happy, hip-hip-hip-hooray
The sun has got his hat on and he’s coming out today

He’s been tanning n*ggers out in Timbuktu
Now he’s coming back to do the same to you
So jump into your sunbath, hip-hip-hip-hooray
The sun has got his hat on and he’s coming out today
 
#9
THE SUN HAS GOT HIS HAT ON

The sun has got his hat on, hip-hip-hip-hooray
The sun has got his hat on and he’s coming out today
Now we’ll all be happy, hip-hip-hip-hooray
The sun has got his hat on and he’s coming out today

He’s been tanning n*ggers out in Timbuktu
Now he’s coming back to do the same to you
So jump into your sunbath, hip-hip-hip-hooray
The sun has got his hat on and he’s coming out today
Whats wrong with that cheery ditty?............Oh.......Oh I see........ oh deary me.
 
#10
Not quite the same thing, but there’s always Gary Glitter’s Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah), the chorus of which should have provided a clue to his hobbies:

Do you wanna touch? - Yeah! Do you wanna touch? - Yeah!
Do you wanna touch me there? Yeah!
Do you wanna touch? - Yeah! Do you wanna touch? - Yeah!
Do you wanna touch me there? Where? There! Yeah! Oh!

A cover version was used by HP until they found out who wrote it… Oops!
 
#11
How about these?

Killing an Arab - The Cure (Not sure if this would be banned)

Standing on the beach
With a gun in my hand
Staring at the sea
Staring at the sand
Staring down the barrel
At the arab on the ground
I can see his open mouth
But I hear no sound
I'm alive
I'm dead
I'm the stranger
Killing an arab

I can turn
And walk away
Or I can fire the gun
Staring at the sky
Staring at the sun
Whichever I chose
It amounts to the same
Absolutely nothing



(He Hit Me) It Felt like a Kiss - The Chrystals (Er.........WTF)

He hit me
And it felt like a kiss.
He hit me
But it didn't hurt me.

He couldn't stand to hear me say
That I'd been with someone new,
And when I told him I had been untrue

He hit me
And it felt like a kiss.
He hit me
And I knew he loved me.

If he didn't care for me
I could have never made him mad
But he hit me,
And I was glad.


But (slightly of topic) if you want some truly weird stuff that begs the question "How did they get away with that?" Then you can't beat the old Country and Western song titles.......

How Can I Get Over You if You Won't Get Out from Under Me?

It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night that Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long

Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off

Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart was Pure

I Gave Her My Heart and a Diamond and She Clubbed Me with A Spade

If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?

I'd Rather Pass a Kidney Stone than Another Night With You

My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him
 
#12
Too drunk to ****- The Dead Kennedys
 
#13
Bernard Cribbins, Hole in the ground.

Well there we were, disscussing this hole
A hole in the groud so big and sort of round
Well it's not there now, the groundrs all flat
And beneath it is the bloke in the bowler hat

So, some Navvy is digging a hole in the ground, a civil engineer comes along tells him he's doing it all wrong, so he goes all 'Green Howards on his arrse' stoves his head in with a shovel and buries him at the bottom of his trench.
 
#14
Bernard Cribbins, Hole in the ground.

Well there we were, disscussing this hole
A hole in the groud so big and sort of round
Well it's not there now, the groundrs all flat
And beneath it is the bloke in the bowler hat

So, some Navvy is digging a hole in the ground, a civil engineer comes along tells him he's doing it all wrong, so he goes all 'Green Howards on his arrse' stoves his head in with a shovel and buries him at the bottom of his trench.
A very nice precis indeed - although the "Green Frankies" may have an opposing view! And that's what the ARRSE is all about.
 
#15
My Sharona by the Knack?

Ooh my little pretty one, pretty one.
When you gonna give me some time, Sharona?
Ooh you make my motor run, my motor run.
Gun it comin' off the line Sharona
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Sharona...

Come a little closer huh, ah will ya huh.
Close enough to look in my eyes, Sharona.
Keeping it a mystery gets to me
Running down the length of my thighs, Sharona
Never gonna stop, give it up. Such a dirty mind.
Always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Sharona...

When you gonna give it to me, give it to me.
It is just a matter of time Sharona
Is it just destiny, destiny?
Or is it just a game in my mind, Sharona?
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Sharona...
 
#16
We Shot One
We Shot Two
We Shot Thirty More Than You
With a Knick Knack PaddyWhack
Give the Man a Gun
Watch Those Fu**in Fenians Run
 
#17
We Shot One
We Shot Two
We Shot Thirty More Than You
With a Knick Knack PaddyWhack
Give the Man a Gun
Watch Those Fu**in Fenians Run
We shot one
We shot two
We shot thirteen more than you

With a Knick-Knack Paddy-whack
Give the dog a bone
Paras thirteen, Provos none!

Bring out your dead
Bring out your dead
We're going to make the streets run red
When the red, red beret goes
Bob, bobbing along

There'll be no more Bog Wogs
When we finish singing our song!
 
#18
I've forgotten most of the colours but these say enough for this Romantic Little Ditty

The First Night I met her I met her in White
All in White All in White I took her out that night
Down the dark Alley where Nobody Knows

The Next Night I Met Her I met Her in Brown
All in Brown All in Brown I had her Knickers Down
Down the Dark Alley where Nobody Knows

The Next Night I Met Her I Met Her in Blue
All in Blue All in Blue She Said the Twins were Due
Down the Dark Alley Where Nobody Knows

The Next Night I Met Her I Met Her in Red
All in Red All in Red She Said the Twins were Dead
Down the Dark Alley Where Nobody Knows

The Last Night I Met Her I Met Her in Check
All in Check All in Check I Wrang Her Fu**ing Neck
Down the Dark Alley Where Nobody Knows
 
#19
I also believe the Bootnecks had a variation of this old Sailors Song

In Portsmouth Town There Lived a Maid
Mark Well What I Do Say
In Portsmouth Town There Lived a Maid
And the Royal Navy was Her Trade
I'll Go No More A Rovin with You Fair Maid

Chorus

A Rovin A Rovin Since Rovin's Been My Ru-i-in
I'll Go No More a Rovin With You Fair Maid

She Swore to Me That She Was True
Mark Well What I Do Say
She Swore to Me That She Was True
She's True to the Whole Damn Navy Too
I'll Go No More A Rovin With You Fair Maid

I Put My Hand Upon Her Toe
Mark Well What I Do Say
I Put My Hand Upon Her Toe
She Said Young Man You're Way Too Low
I'll Go No More a Rovin With You Fair Maid

I Put My Hand Upon Her Knee
Mark Well What I Do Say
I Put My Hand Upon Her Knee
She Said Young Man You're Teasing Me
I'll Go No More a Rovin With You Fair Maid

I Put My Hand Upon Her Thigh
Mark Well What I Do Say
I Put My Hand Upon Her Thigh
She Said Young Man You're Way Too High
I'll Go No More A Rovin With You Fair Maid

I Put My Arm Around Her Waist
Mark Well What I Do Say
I Put My Arm Around Her Waist
She Said Young Man You're In Great Haste
I'll Go No More A Rovin With You Fair Maid

Now When I Got Home From the Sea
Mark Well What I Do Say
Now When I Got Home From The Sea
An Int Corps Soldier Was On Her Knee
I'll Go No More a Rovin With You Fair Maid
 
#20
Sister Sarah Sits in a Shoe Shop
All Day Long She Sits and Shines
All Day Long She Shines and Sits
Sister Sarah Sits in the Shoe Shop
She Sits and Shines and Shines and Sits
And Shines and Sits and Sits and Shines
Sister Sarah Sits in The Shoe Shop


Now try saying that either drunk or sober !
 

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