Two Chelsea Pensioners were sitting outside The Royal Hospital getting a little sunshine. Albert groaned. "I'm so bleedin' full of aches and pains these days, sometimes I can hardly stand. How about you, Cyril, you're about the same age as me, how are you feelin'?" Cyril replied. "Like a new born baby." Albert was stunned. "Really?" Cyril said. "Yep, no hair, no teeth and I've just fuckin' shit myself."