a Chelsea Pensioner was sitting on a bench in the park in London. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair that was all different colors -- green, red, orange, blue and yellow. The old soldier just stared!! The young man said. "What's the matter, old timer? Never done anything wild in your life?" The old soldier replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."