Old school recipes

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Aleegee1698, Oct 11, 2011.

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  1. Just sat here thinking about how gopping primary school dinners were, and how the teachers used to parade around the dining-hall, smacking your knuckles for lack of etiquet at the dining table, forcing you to eat the adulterated shoite served at state cost, with the threat of "no pudding" if you didnt eat up. The bottle of red/silver/gold-top milk every morning, being a Runner for the day, or as a Swot, a Prefect. I saw the first picture in a book of a dead British Soldier on the Somme, because in those days, we actually used to learn about history.

    But this thread is not about our Great Grandfathers who gave their lives so galantly in the First World War (sorry, I m reading "Tommy" at the moment), its about that part of dinner that wasnt gopping, the puddings.

    I m after some Old School pudding recipes, so if theres any old decrepid Dinner-lady still out there with the right Batco, send me the recipes for Toffee cream tart, Almond slice (warm, wiv custard), real suet puddings (none of these modern sponge-type Spotted dicks etc), and my most fav, Chocolate sponge with Chocolate custard.

    Also, I just wanted to ask, was it normal as a Primary school kid to want to shag the History teacher, Miss Coneybears brains out?

    Just asking like
  2. Ref: Miss Coneybear...if you were in Primary 1 then it probably was perverse but if you were 11, on hand-shandies or diddling a passing ESN, then no you were merely showing adaptive learning skills.
  3. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    and just then the taxi turned up. I got a letter from the vicar the next week. He expressed his regret and hoped Hortense was recovering well. He said it was still stuck to the ceiling and the stains would not come off the curtains. I never did go back to Maplethorpe.
    • Like Like x 2
  4. Er, like, no, it was Primary 1.............

    But what about the Toffee Cream Tart?
  5. Yes Mis "The Toffee Cream Tart" Conybear...at the rising of the cock and the going down of the tissues, we will remember her.
    • Like Like x 2
  6. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    At my school we only had teachers. And Matron. With her cold water enema. "You are fevered young man. Lie flat and relax".

    Beat the shit out of any fucking chocolate pudding I can tell you.
    • Like Like x 2
  7. I always remember school dinners as OK, as it was the only proper meal we ever got, Jam Roly Poly, Spotted dick to name but 2.

    As for teacher fetish Madamme Gomme (true) a student teacher in French (Fnnar!) who whilst I was leaning back on my chair tried to pull me into the upright position by my jumper, I returned the favour by pulling her poppered dress in a similar fashion which inevitably opened up to reveal her full underwear, still have a twitch thinkin' of it now BTW I was only about 11 and it remained in my wank bank 'til I lost my cherry - not with Madamme Gomme unfortunately!!
  8. You had dinner at your school? You were lucky................
  9. You had school at your school? Luxury!

    We used to dream of education at our school, we were woken up half an hour before we went to bed...etc.

  10. DREAM? You lucky fcuker, the place I was put banned dreamin'................etc.
  11. You had bans? you lucky, lucky bastards. Bloody hellfire, we would have loved to have been banned from something but it was forbidden...
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Brotherton Lad

    Brotherton Lad LE Reviewer

    Here's a recipe for a beer to wash your spotted dick down:

    To make Cock-Ale
  13. [​IMG]

    Followed by two hours of "Quiet Time"
  14. Ye gods my arteries clogged up just reading that.

    I love puddings and they are a staple in the winter, chocolate pudding with custard, 'leek puddin like me mam used to make', and all the stodgy stuff they gave us before sending us out to play rugby in the snow.

    But good grief OP all you have to do is type food plus the word recipie into google and you get the lot.
    toffee cream-tart recipies - Buscar con Google

    So you really posted this to hear our suppressed, and with this lot on here, totally unsuppressed fantasies about lardy school cooks who slopped food onto your plate and filled your nocturnal dreams. Or the masculine school master who made you sit up and suffer appealing to your inner desire to be humiliated and dominated by an older authoritarian member of the same sex.
    Let it all out man we can help you, you know you will feel better for it, tell us all of it.