Old Monsters

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by bernoulli, Jul 3, 2012.

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  1. One recent fine summer's evening, I happened across a party of elderly Japanese doing paintings of the cathedral. They were doing all the Ninja Zen brushwork shit, you know, rendering the entire scene in all its intricate detail in one brush stroke, while meditating on cherry blossom or something. Looking at the one old fella among them, I just knew he was thinking something along the lines of: "This is alright, but the Rape of Nanking was far better craic, what with shoving bamboo up dead chicks' fooeys, an' all". Has anyone else come across a twinkly eyed old war criminal of late, perhaps doing line dancing or fruit sculpting classes?
  2. An infamous Garrison Corporal Major in Hobart Barracks retired and took up picture framing. You remember - the one who jailed a cat for crossing the main drag without looking. He also had a 2 way mirror in his office wall / Garrison HQ entrance - you didn't use this to sort your kit before you reported him or it was straight inside for walking round his camp in shit state...
  3. He was a war-criminal, you say? Doesn't come as much of a surprise.
  4. I'm pretty sure Josef Mengele was my dentist about 20 years ago.
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  5. Why? Did he sort your fillings then stitch a stillborn child onto your abdomen whilst seeing how you coped with having your blood swapped with that of an animals? Bloody dentists, never liked the bastards.

    Sent from my electronic brick
  6. Himmler is our compliance bod in work. Absolute spitting image of him, down to the lank wispy hair, small round glasses, & the git even has the tiny Hitler 'tache as well.

    He rarely speaks to me, but if he ever asks me a question, I'm going to answer him & then ask if that was the final solution he was looking for.
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  7. No, but the cunt kept asking me "Is it safe?"
  8. I've often wondered about some of the Boxheads I've seen in France;

    'we must go to Oradour-sur-Glane, Greta; I haven't been there since the war.'
  9. Not sure if she qualifies as a war criminal, but I am sure my mother in law was one of Hannable's elephants.
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  10. Haverfordwest is populated by criminals, fat slappers and the dregs of society, i am sure the odd war criminal is about somewhere there>
  11. When I lived in Taipei, the grandad of the family across the hall was quite happy to cheerfully reminisce about his days in the Imperial Japanese Army. He only spoke Hokkien and Japanese, so our conversations were conducted through his daughter. I'm sure she edited out any mention of Nanjing.