Old Holborn Does a Littlejohn

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by miles_gloriosus, May 25, 2010.

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  1. Blimey! I bet OH felt better for getting that off his chest. He's not normally that ranty....

    How did he do in the election :twisted:
  2. WTF are ashie and sven/whet? Oh and expect bovvy along shortly as well. Boo fecking hoo!
  3. Any chance you could cut'n'paste? I can't access that from here.
  4. Parents

    Your children, if aged 13 and under have only ever lived under a New Labour government. That means you have not had to take responsibility for their education, discipline, welfare, behaviour or aspirations. You have been taught to give them all they require and send the bill to the Government who promised to look after everything as long as you voted for them. Nike trainers, PS3's on demand, iPhones for under 10's, the lot. and if you couldn't afford it, Labour made sure that every credit shark in the business could lend you money you couldn't afford to repay.

    If your partner legged it, so what, more tax credits. If little Timmy punched a teacher, so what, he'll get extra sweets from an ADHD diversity coordinator and if he burnt down the house, so what, Labour would give you another one. If he can't read and write, so what, he'll go on the Social and get a flat for his now pregnant girlfriend he met last night. No need to worry about the kids, that's what the state is for, ain't my fault, innit.

    Well guess what? That's coming to an end. If you didn't bother to nurture your offspring, the State will no longer take responsibility for them. You will. Chardonnay is not going to get a council house because she dropped them as soon as she could to the first passing asylum seeker with no forwarding address. She and her halfling are going to be living in your spare room, smoking your fags and wolfing down your pot noodles.

    Little Connor (who is an angel, says his Nan) is not going to get one on one tuition in an effort to stop him hitting the teachers. He's going to be smashing up YOUR front room instead of a classroom. Oh, and he's not going for two weeks camping with the council diversity coordinator where he can run riot and you get a fortnights heavy drinking in. He's staying with you. Ripping up your stuff to show how creative he is. And the army of hairy lipped sandalistas you normally rang and demanded "sort 'im aht, he's doin' my 'ead in" aren't going to be there anymore.

    In short, the buck now stops with you. Not me, the taxpayer. Enjoy the fruits of your loins. Every horrifying minute stuck with what you allowed Labour to create in your name. Put down the remote and teach your child to read. Sit at a dinner table and eat with your child. Meals YOU have cooked. Teach him the value of food, conversation, family, money, hard work, ambition, aspiration and dreams. Show him knowledge. Teach him manners. Teach him the consequences of his decisions. Teach him respect.

    Because no matter what they promised, Labour certainly didn't and now you are going to have to pick up the pieces. I wish you luck, you're going to need it.


    Your world is about to change dramatically. In order to survive, you are going to have to do things you have never done before. You are going to have to acquire skills that will enable you to live in a world where there are no free hand outs and no one is being paid to put up with your abuse anymore. Trust me, they aren't going to do it for free either.

    If you decide that school is a pain, family is shit, money is everything and having a laugh whilst someone else pays and deals with the mess, then you are in for a shock. It isn't your fault but it IS up to you to sort it out. And you can. You have a unique opportunity to crawl out of the pond that so many of today's neets are mindlessly swimming in and you'd better make sure you're in the first wave who do, because sure as eggs, the ladder will be pulled up.

    Study. Read a book. Gain knowledge that others do not have, it will make you valuable. It will mean you do not have to live with your mum, her numerous boyfriends and Chardonnays screaming brat "doing your head in". It will give you independence to live your life as you wish, not as a Politician wished you to live it. It will give you freedom.

    One thing is for sure, if you want what Labour promised, an easy idle life with no responsibility, then you are going to have to finance it yourself.

    As Liam Byrne said "There's no money left". And he wasn't joking.
  5. "Teach him the value of food, conversation, family, money, hard work, ambition, aspiration and dreams. Show him knowledge. Teach him manners. Teach him the consequences of his decisions. Teach him respect."

    Unfortunately, before the parents can do this, they'll probably have to go back to THEIR parents for this wisdom, and their parents will have to go back to their parents, etc and so on.

    Given that the generational gap is about 15 years in the chav classes, they'll have to go back about four generations to find any adults that retain any of these values....
  6. Hard to argue with any of that. I've bookmarked the site.
  7. To be entirely fair, you don't have to go that far back.
    In a large art this problem partly goes back to the late 1970's and partly to the resulting mass unemployment and de-industrialisation of the 1980's.
    In many areas the welfare culture is a direct result of whole towns becoming unemployed at a stroke.
    Many coal, steel and shipbuilding areas suffered when a massive proprtion of workers lost their jobs without any meaningful efforts to replace those jobs.
    In places where new jobs were created they have been generally low skilled and low paid. The resulting shortfall in incomes was ultimatley addressed with tax credits creating dependence on the state even once back in employment.
    In some of these areas we are into the third generation were there is either little work or it pays so little that supplementary income from the state is necessary.

    I guess we can finally dismiss the idea that a call centre or two can return a former steel town to prosperity can't we?

    There is only one real answer (and the politicians are finally waking upto it) and that is manufacturing and exporting goods. Recent history proves that we cannot hinge our economy of financial services alone.
    We also need to dispel the myths that we cannot compete with the Chinese and it isn't worth the bother of trying.

    Hopefully we might now a government that encourages enterprise rather than placing obstacles in the way. We can and do manufacture goods competetively, just as we can attend to our own energy needs economically. We can export competetive products.
    We just need the political will to support it.
  8. This one was a bit more direct. Vintage Old Holborn, September 2008, when the writing was not on but chased deep into the wall for those who did not have their heads way up their collective arrse

    "Dear Labour Voters

    We meet at last. It’s been 11 years and you’ve enjoyed every moment, haven’t you?

    You had fcuk all but weren’t happy watching others get on, so you voted for the grinning slimeball who offered you something for nothing, didn’t you? Guess who got rich? You or him?

    I digress. Let’s get back to you lot. All 9 million of you. How are things? Still smiling? You’ve had 11 years to make the best of it. So let’s look at what you have achieved. All 9 million of you.

    Whilst you’ve been enjoying cheap credit, the rest of us have noticed that we don’t actually own our country anymore. Whilst you’ve been enjoying hot tubs, 4x4’s, gas fired BBQ’s, nail studios, the hairdressers and trying to keep up with the Beckhams, the Magna Carta has been torn to shreds and thrown away. Whilst little Tyson has been riding around on his Argos 27.9% APR financed BMX, 900 years of British History has been shat on.

    Ever wondered why you don’t have a villa in Tuscany? Ever wondered why everyone else takes holidays in the Caribbean whilst you go to Menorca?

    It’s because you are thick and lazy. And along came a Party that told you being thick and lazy was no good reason for you NOT to have what they had.

    You stupid, stupid cnuts. Guess where Tony Blair is now? Do you think he is drawing the curtains on his two bed terraced house, full with M&S trinkets, to hide from the postman? Like you are? Do you think he wakes at 5am, sh1tting it that the bailiffs will be there at 11 to take away his new Nissan?

    Cut to the chase. You’re up to your fcuking eyes in it. £20K, £30K on the plastic? Tax credits aren’t going to help pay that are they? Overtime’s going to be cut because there’s a recession coming. Oooppps. That’s what been paying the minimum due every month, isn’t it? Whilst you’ve been buying sovereign rings, Tag Heuers and Tescos Finest to impress your parents, the party that promised you a shot at being loaded without doing anything has fcuked it all up. And guess who is going to pay?

    I know your parents were hard up. I know you grew up with fcuk all. I know your parents couldn’t give a sh1t about getting you through school properly. They were too busy wife swapping or down the bingo or social. I know you laughed at your teachers.

    Guess what?

    You’re FCUKED. Totally, properly FCUKED. You are going to lose your houses, cars, plasmas, koi carp and Nikes. Think your parents were hard up? Just fcuking wait six months. You will KNOW what a diet of pasta and ketchup tastes like. No more Dominoes Pizza in front of the Simpsons on Sky, no more Tandooris. Get your fat, lazy arses in the kitchen and fcuking cook something. Your kids will hate you as their PS3’s head over to Cash Converters, your wife will hate you as you trade in her Louis Vuitton handbag and you will hate yourself when you take a carrier bag out to the car to clear the glove compartment as the bailiff waits.

    I hate all 9 million of you. I wish you all the plagues of hell. I want to see the four horsemen of the apocalypse in your Next furnished living room.

    In your greedy, petty little pursuit of free “stuff” you allowed MY country, MY rights and MY life to be turned over by a bunch of fcuking snake oil salesman.

    I hope it costs you everything, you shites. I can handle 9 million suicides, and frankly with no major wars, there’s no other way we’ll get rid of you cnuts.

    Fcuk off and die."

  9. Badly. I think he got 145 votes. He was standing where I live. I didn't even realise it until I checked the results. So his lack of advertising, and reliance on his blog may have something to do with it.
  10. Halfling?
    I wonder what he put there before it was edited for publication?
  11. Fecking pinko.
  12. I don't moderate or edit anything.

    Now get back to work, the lot of you
  13. :worship: :worship: :worship:
  14. Quality rants OH.

    Oh, and 'Agree Strongly'