Old Fat and Hairy

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#1
Since OFAH joined our merry crew I have noticed, with dismay, the feeble attempts that OFAH has made in trying to get his end away.

I do not think there is a single (or married) female on ARRSE that hasn't drawn his attention.

This has to stop. The man has needs.

I think we should have a whip round (phnaar phnaar) and get him a high class escort to relieve the obvious tension that semen retention is causing him.

I have the envelope and I have thrown my lose change in. So the fund currently stand at 37 cents.

Your thoughts?
 
#3
High class? I'd have thought a scabby Kenyan gutter-whore would do. And your 37 cents will probably cover it.

B-T
 
#4
How about setting him up with the blind, minge loving doris on another thred he's frequenting.....if we rub him with rotting tench, he'll be irresistable to her, and it wont cost a penny....
 
#5
I've not had any nookie since 1998.
 
#6
B_AND_T said:
Since OFAH joined our merry crew I have noticed, with dismay, the feeble attempts that OFAH has made in trying to get his end away.

I do not think there is a single (or married) female on ARRSE that hasn't drawn his attention.

This has to stop. The man has needs.

I think we should have a whip round (phnaar phnaar) and get him a high class escort to relieve the obvious tension that seamen retention is causing him.

I have the envelope and I have thrown my lose change in. So the fund currently stand at 37 cents.

Your thoughts?
Thank goodness you've started this thread B&T. I have emptied out the kids Piggy Banks for this fund, ignoring their cries.

I've currently got £3.07, a few buttons and some Cyprus Cents. Tell me where to send it!!!

:p
 
#7
To be frank I don't understand how the arrsemaidens can resist him! Even as a bloke, after reading his posts I find myself wanting to bend over the nearest item of furniture, and get naughty with with a block of warm lard for him.

That said, i'll chuck in 15 shiny pee.
 
#8
B_AND_T said:
I think we should have a whip round (phnaar phnaar) and get him a high class escort to relieve the obvious tension that seamen retention is causing him.
If he's got a bunch of matelots tucked away somewhere, by definition he doesn't need whores. I'm outraged that you'd try to extract funds for an unworthy cause.
 
#9
B_AND_T said:
I think we should have a whip round (phnaar phnaar) and get him a high class escort to relieve the obvious tension that seamen retention is causing him.
I thought that was a naval manning issue?

Hang on - issue - oooh, matron...........
 
#11
Having just had the good news about my £87,000 win on the lottery from a student in Australia, I am delighted to say I could put forward 5p to this good cause but I would like some change.
 
#12
Surely it would be cheaper to just persuade one of the female ARRSErs to "take one for the team"?

His standards are commendably low (and so are theirs) so I don't really see a problem.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#13
I'm very touched. But you all knew that anyway.

Pud, just hang on, I will get there, but as a vegetarian I can't sanction the use of lard. Warm tofu will be just as good.

Anon, thank you for your contribution. warmly receieved, and wishful........! Stay wishful.
 
#15
Tax_Tw-t said:
Surely it would be cheaper to just persuade one of the female ARRSErs to "take one for the team"?

His standards are commendably low (and so are theirs) so I don't really see a problem.
We'd have to draw straws on that Twat. I fear they may be tears from the 'winner'.
 
#16
B_AND_T said:
Since OFAH joined our merry crew I have noticed, with dismay, the feeble attempts that OFAH has made in trying to get his end away.

I do not think there is a single (or married) female on ARRSE that hasn't drawn his attention.

This has to stop. The man has needs.

I think we should have a whip round (phnaar phnaar) and get him a high class escort to relieve the obvious tension that seamen retention is causing him.

I have the envelope and I have thrown my lose change in. So the fund currently stand at 37 cents.

Your thoughts?
Should'nt seaman retention's name begin with a capital letter! and why does OFAH not complain to the Admiralty if this sailor is giving him problems.
 
#17
Hang on - call me suspicious, but how come we never see B&T and OFAH in the same room together? Is this just a cunning ploy by a sex starved old reprobate to cash in on a charitable and caring ARRSE community?

I think we should be told.
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#18
Can't be me, I'm not hairy.
 
#19
Would any contributions be subject to Gift Aid? That way, the fund would benefit by 28p in the £1. So there's around 98p plus a few cents so far!
 
#20
old_fat_and_hairy said:
I'm very touched. But you all knew that anyway.

Pud, just hang on, I will get there, but as a vegetarian I can't sanction the use of lard. Warm tofu will be just as good.

Anon, thank you for your contribution. warmly receieved, and wishful........! Stay wishful.
Thank you OF&H. I shall.

Though I feel I have to share with the other ARRSERs, my willpower has been diminishing over this week. I have been very close to giving him a sympathy shag, but I do like a man that begs. And he does it SO well here on the boards. :p
 

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