Old Fat and Hairy

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by B_AND_T, Nov 23, 2007.

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  1. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Since OFAH joined our merry crew I have noticed, with dismay, the feeble attempts that OFAH has made in trying to get his end away.

    I do not think there is a single (or married) female on ARRSE that hasn't drawn his attention.

    This has to stop. The man has needs.

    I think we should have a whip round (phnaar phnaar) and get him a high class escort to relieve the obvious tension that semen retention is causing him.

    I have the envelope and I have thrown my lose change in. So the fund currently stand at 37 cents.

    Your thoughts?
     
  2. I'd pay for that, however i am trying to get on his daughter so im hardly unbiased.
     
  3. High class? I'd have thought a scabby Kenyan gutter-whore would do. And your 37 cents will probably cover it.

    B-T
     
  4. How about setting him up with the blind, minge loving doris on another thred he's frequenting.....if we rub him with rotting tench, he'll be irresistable to her, and it wont cost a penny....
     
  5. I've not had any nookie since 1998.
     
  6. Thank goodness you've started this thread B&T. I have emptied out the kids Piggy Banks for this fund, ignoring their cries.

    I've currently got £3.07, a few buttons and some Cyprus Cents. Tell me where to send it!!!

    :p
     
  7. To be frank I don't understand how the arrsemaidens can resist him! Even as a bloke, after reading his posts I find myself wanting to bend over the nearest item of furniture, and get naughty with with a block of warm lard for him.

    That said, i'll chuck in 15 shiny pee.
     
  8. If he's got a bunch of matelots tucked away somewhere, by definition he doesn't need whores. I'm outraged that you'd try to extract funds for an unworthy cause.
     
  9. I thought that was a naval manning issue?

    Hang on - issue - oooh, matron...........
     
  10. Great minds, eh Art?
     
  11. Having just had the good news about my £87,000 win on the lottery from a student in Australia, I am delighted to say I could put forward 5p to this good cause but I would like some change.
     
  12. Surely it would be cheaper to just persuade one of the female ARRSErs to "take one for the team"?

    His standards are commendably low (and so are theirs) so I don't really see a problem.
     
  13. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    I'm very touched. But you all knew that anyway.

    Pud, just hang on, I will get there, but as a vegetarian I can't sanction the use of lard. Warm tofu will be just as good.

    Anon, thank you for your contribution. warmly receieved, and wishful........! Stay wishful.
     
  14. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

  15. We'd have to draw straws on that Twat. I fear they may be tears from the 'winner'.