Old fart needs help!

BiscuitsAB

LE
Moderator
#1
I'n more ways than one!

However in this instance heres the brief.

wrong side of 39 med discharged a while ago due to feet having been re-built with mecano etc.

knees are fairly crumbly but ok, lower back pain but its due to lack of excersie.

So can anyone give me help with a phy regime? Can't run and hate swimming.

have a decent cross trainer and recumbant cycle and some free weights with a bar and dumbell.

Have got the motivation to get of my slightly fat arrse but could do with input in terms of a regime. Target is to loose about a stone currently 13st 7lb want to loose the excess fat and get fit.

All help and derision welcome.
 
#2
Same sort of scenario as me then. Basically, Ive dropped 2 stone in 8 months, and its staying off. All Ive done is change a few bad habits like binning take aways and eating shoit like choccy and crisps. Ive cut down the portions and eaten little and often, fair nuff I feel hungry a lot of the time, when I do I grab a bowl of cereal or something rather than crisps. Training wise, I enrolled onto some fitness classes at the gym, I was paying membership for it anyway so I decided to go ant letch at the totty whilst getting fit at the same time. In between the classes I did my own workout consisting of biking, rowing and general cardio stuff. I hit the hills with bergan, not as a beasting but to get my lardy arse out on a weekend. Set my sights on completing a couple of challenge walks like the Cheviots Challenge to keep me motivated (loads on the LDWA site) and thats about it, small food changes, regular exercise.
 
#5
BiscuitsAB said:
Airfix said:
Take up mo' jive or salsa then you can shed the pounds while pawing other blokes wives and girlfriends...
Teeny tiny problem, feet are fcuked.
If you can walk, you can dance salsa and mo'jive!

Man the fcuk up and get your hands on someone elses lass! :D
 
#6
Buy one of those large, soft balls and sit on it when surfing Arrse. That will improve your posture and, hence, your back muscles. Don't go berserk on it, though. A few minutes at a time.

Cut out the beer. Eat good food.

Buggered feet means swimming is probably the best exercise. Have you tried using a full-body float and marching in the pool? That will give you a workout and a half!

Litotes
 
#7
But a mountain bike.....the are loads of woods round my way.....so it's always varied, and low impact.

It can be fun once you get into it....it depends on where you live?
 

BiscuitsAB

LE
Moderator
#8
Litotes said:
Buy one of those large, soft balls and sit on it when surfing Arrse. That will improve your posture and, hence, your back muscles. Don't go berserk on it, though. A few minutes at a time.

Cut out the beer. Eat good food.

Buggered feet means swimming is probably the best exercise. Have you tried using a full-body float and marching in the pool? That will give you a workout and a half!

Litotes
Thanks for the above think I better but some more info up.

Dont drink more than 3 pints a week, only eat decent food never buy processed as I can cook proper an all.

I know swimming would be good but it bores me to fcuking tears.
 
#9
Cycling is the answer if your feet are knackered. I've got a hybrid bike (part mountain bike, part road bike; hard tail, front suspension, upright riding position so easy on the back); like all compromises, it's not perfect, but it gets me out and now I'm up to 20-mile rides.

Swimming is too tedious for words, but I have heard you can get waterproof i-pods, which may help to pass the time.
 
#10
Ah yes mountain biking... lovely ... except when you have to spend two hours in A&E being stiched after falling off... great... even better when you are on your own up some bloody hill with no one to help you and no mobile phone cover...

I have PMd some sensible advise...
 
#11
Have a look into Russian Kettlebells. Been using these a while now, excellent for fat burning and strength and also surprisingly good cardio.

If done properly, could help with dodgy knees and back. Very good for body equalising. I.e making sure left leg is as good as your right at everything.

Cant speak too highly of them myself, I've seen massive improvements with them.

Then again, I am half your age..... :D

Ben
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#12
Get a Nintendo Wii Fit, you will never look back, and if you can get your missus to do the hula hoop game in just her nicks all the better. Just have a look on Youtube to see what I mean.
 
#13
B_AB - have you tried aquajogging (need a special float belt at about 20 quid) it knocked tons of a chief clerk of mine who could only do lowest impact - it is different to swimming and because it is as funny as feck if someone tries to copy you without realising you have a special belt you might, just might, enjoy it.

Aqua aerobics are also good - a barsteward - but good.
 
#14
Take up Chess and Patience as that might help a bit with your abs.
 
#15
angular said:
Cycling is the answer if your feet are knackered. I've got a hybrid bike (part mountain bike, part road bike; hard tail, front suspension, upright riding position so easy on the back); like all compromises, it's not perfect, but it gets me out and now I'm up to 20-mile rides.

Swimming is too tedious for words, but I have heard you can get waterproof i-pods, which may help to pass the time.
My mountain bike has a 90watt electric motor bolted to the back and three 12volt batteries slid in under the panier bags go's like shite for about 20miles on a full charge
 
#16
Yoga and Pilates. If you are as bad as you say then Martial Arts are out so these would help ease your joints and keep you supple.

And, the yoga class I go to has about 20 wimmin stretching, moaning and groaning and I am the only bloke there. I can't understand it. Anywhere else you would have to pay for the things that I get to see!

Make sure you get a spot at the back mind.
 
#18
Back on track though, ever done Janda situps? Get a karate belt (we've all got one somewhere) and tie it in a knot, making a loop.

Feed it behind the leg of the bed, at floor level, and twist it to make a figure 8. Sit down and put one foot through each loop. There should be two...

Do your situps slowly and instead of pulling up with your toes, pull down and back with your heels. May feel like you're cheating but it puts a great crunch on your abs.

And pretty soon, you won't be lardarse no more.
 

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