Olaf Horse Cock - how not to go down in Viking History

Wordsmith

LE
Book Reviewer
#1
There have been many mighty warriors over the centuries. Alexander the Great conquered Asia, Ivan the Terrible made Russia tremble. Charles the Bold bestrode France like a colossus, Eric the Blood Axe filled the Vikings with fear.

Sadly, one of Eric Blood Axes's compatriots did not fare so well in history. A practical joke went wrong, and now history knows him as Olaf Horse Cock. The story is told in the Icelandic sage Flateyjarbók.

Link to translation of story below - its a pretty bizarre one...

http://notendur.hi.is/eybjorn/ugm/volsi.html

So let's raise a glass to Olaf Horse Cock - horse cock waver turned saint!

Wordsmith
 
#2
I have the same nickname.
 
#4
There have been many mighty warriors over the centuries. Alexander the Great conquered Asia, Ivan the Terrible made Russia tremble. Charles the Bold bestrode France like a colossus, Eric the Blood Axe filled the Vikings with fear.

Sadly, one of Eric Blood Axes's compatriots did not fare so well in history. A practical joke went wrong, and now history knows him as Olaf Horse Cock. The story is told in the Icelandic sage Flateyjarbók.

Link to translation of story below - its a pretty bizarre one...

http://notendur.hi.is/eybjorn/ugm/volsi.html

So let's raise a glass to Olaf Horse Cock - horse cock waver turned saint!

Wordsmith
Served the tosser right for converting to Christianity...

1222554154589.jpg.[roflposters.com].myspace.jpg
 
#7
"Ivar the boneless" had a similar phallic based handle, he was either a human squid, hard to believe for a viking king who kicked arse, or he couldn't get a hard on.
 
#8
By the power of the devil the thing grew and became so strong, that it could stand upright by the old woman, when she wanted it to.....
.....until the slave-woman received it.
snigger.. fnurk fnurk
 
#9
On 25th September 1066, Harald Hardraade, Harald III of Norway, died at the Battle of Stamford Bridge (Chelsea eventually went on to win the league in the 1066/1067 season despite being deducted 15 points for the battle). His son, Olaf Haraldsson became King of Norway and ruled from 1066-1093 as Olaf III. He became known as Olaf the Quiet (Olav Kyrre) in a period of peace which saw the decline of the Vikings as a military force. Not a great moniker for a Viking really, Olaf the Quiet … imagine you need a great bellowing voice when setting out to rape and pillage.
 
#10
By 'eck that wasn't the most entertaining fifteen minutes of my life.
 
#12
It's no wonder that the vikings lost their grip, I used to think they'd been bled dry, sending all their best genetic material on raids and long voyages by sea and land. That I thought would explain the limp wristed scandinavians of today. But having read this, perhaps they all topped themselves to escape the boredom.
 
#13
#15
Can't understand why everybody is 'avin a pop at the
Angle Irons..........
 
#16
... and as he opened the envelope he uttered this verse..

"....and they say only Odin, in his high seat,
could have forseen ,
that this icesave account
was no solid prospect.
instead it proved,
about as safe as
a peadophiles testicles
in a room full of young mothers."


Havamal.
 
#17
At least Olaf will NOT be turning in his grave
 
#18
I have always admired the Vikings, did you know guys, that they also had their swords produced in Afghanistan according to sources.

Boffins at the UK's famous National Physical Laboratory (NPL) - birthplace of the Dambusters' bouncing bomb and perhaps the internet - say they have used an electron microscope to analyse Viking swords. In a surprise twist, it turns out that the old-time Scandinavian pests, many of whom moved to England to become our ancestors, actually imported their best steel from Afghanistan.

Vikings' bleeding-edge tech came from Afghanistan • The Register

Plus the Asians referred to Alexander as Sikander. Even in remote areas in Afghanistan and especially Waziristan, you can find people there with European like features, especially blonde hair and red hair, on my DP is my nephew, he has blue eyes and red hair, I introduced him to a French Journalist who was covering the area for a documentary, and took a sample of some sort, and the results showed he had a ancestral connection to europe close to greece and macedonia.

Crazy stuff eh!
 
#19
I have always admired the Vikings, did you know guys, that they also had their swords produced in Afghanistan according to sources.
Probably true, your referring to the Rus not vikings - related. The Rus gave their name to Russia, vikings is a general name applied to scandinavians but in many sources it tends to refer to Icelandic/Irish Viking/Norwegian raiders and in English terms Lancastrians (Irish Vikings).
 
#20
It's no wonder that the vikings lost their grip, I used to think they'd been bled dry, sending all their best genetic material on raids and long voyages by sea and land.
That depends on when they lost the grip, changed their names a few time mind you... normans, etc
 

Similar threads

Latest Threads

Top