Ok, so Im an Arrse sprog, but a little help please! Waltens!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by gt5952, Oct 11, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Right, ok, I fully expect to have every reply (If any) started with the word sprog, its fine, I got used to it once, did it to others for a while, and well, Im new here, so expect it again. Bring it on!

    But whilst googling many things from the comfort of my sofa, I came across the Waltenkommado of the Arrse Pedia.

    Im totally crap at all things computerised, and have only recently figured out how to work my microwave, so please forgive me if the answer is somewhere else on here.

    When I bothered to come out of the Army, I kind of missed it, and joined the British Legion, great, cheap booze, and loads of old guys.

    One problem, the ammount of Walts in there!

    Theres an Ex Navy guy, who has some position of authority, who apparently was never in the navy (Sea Cadets so Im told) but goes around saying he was a PO PTI, he later told me he had several medals, incl a mm, but burried them with his father

    A guy who says he was in the Navy and Army, has several hundred badges across his blazer, and several medals, one of which Im sure is a boar war one

    A guy who dresses as a Para (Red Blazer, Beret etc) again has several medals, and goes on about his war stories in the falklands, Ive just been told he was a steward in the Catering Corps, something like that

    and a few other mongs.

    Its quite disconcerting that these dicks have sort of taken over the show. Id love to add them to the WaltenKommado page of fame (After the sureity of the info is found to be correct) but havent a clue how to do so!

    Any advice fella's? These bunch of Prats are ruining what should be a good environment for the old boys (Real vetereans, not cardboard ones like me!)
  2. See the bottom of the first ARRSEPedia page for advice on how to get started:


    It’s pretty straightforward to add a little text. Once you have opened an account you should also click on the edit button at the tops of pages and see how other people have put things together.

    Just a word of caution if I may… Be very careful not to say anything that you can’t back up with hard evidence. You are personally liable for any laws you break (and yes, it is possible to be traced if necessary). 8O
  3. Welcome to ARRSE. Plenty of walts here as well.
  4. Fcuking hundreds lately.
  5. Catering Corps steward............. LIE

    Stewards were always the Regtm'l/Bn mongs.
  6. Perhaps I shouldnt get so easily offended by these people, but when they are giving it large I fail to understand their purpose. Theres one thing pretending to be General R Tittingson MBE OBE GC VC etc to some bird, theres another thing telling 80 yr olds who have given real service in their lives about their walting.

    It makes me uncomfortable to have some quiet humble matlo from wwII to my left, and some fat useless git talking about the time he killed 60 Iraqi's with a biro when he was in the SAS... but shhhh, cant tell anyone... its top secret. twat.

    The two shouldnt cross paths! Clearly membership, or associate membership is lapsed due to dwindling numbers, but there are quite a few of these dicks out there, and, apparently on here lol

    As for the Steward, in the catering corps, alas, the catering corps was RLC in my time. Perhaps he was a Batman or something, either way, this useless tit was not a Para.

    I think I may just leave the legion, bollocks to it. cant be arsed with fiction people telling me about their personal trauma which was gained watching saving Private ted, or Full Metal Jack arse.
  7. Mess Waiter Walt - wow, he was probably really the second man on the balcony. Why not just enjoy the cheap booze or if you can't, don't go there again.
  8. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Has not any body realised this is a WAH.......
  9. I can't claim to have any useful knowledge on the British Legion, but my guess is that the elderly chaps there, with a genuine service record, get alot of assistance from the institution?

    If that is the case, could you not stay in the BL for their sake? You could also develop a walt hunting game, with questions such as, "If you are ex-Para, why are you so f*cking fat?"

    Edited to add - huzzah, more wahs
  10. ROFL! lol yes,

    "If youre a ex Para, why are you so fat?"

    rofl, looks like youve been there.

    Perhaps I will stick it just for the fun of it, not as if Ive got anything better to do lol

    Who knows, may start telling them about the time I abseiled into the Embassy when I was 1 yrs old, armed with a dummy and a kak filled diaper!
  11. Pte Godfrey (of Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard) claimed to have spent twenty or so years in the Army and Navy. Gentlemans' Outfitting Department, to be exact.

    Why not get some group photo's, ideally with medals being worn (there may be an opportunity in a few weeks), and share them with us in a non-accusatory kind of way - eg Heres me with my Legion mates. There are plenty of people on here who, at the first glimpse of a dubious rack of medals will identify each and every ribbon, without being asked. This saves you the bother of even calling them into question in the first place, and you could even spring to their defence, (for example you could say "No, you must be mistaken, that chap with the MM is Jack Livesey, he was in 2PARA.")
  12. Joe Private,

    What a great idea. Will take photos of my new 'mates' of Remb day.

    I know shag all about medals, have never met anyone in the SAS.

    Sounds like fun. Could be the Chairman within a month! (only joking, I couldnt run a bath, let alone a branch. Id drink the profits!)
  13. Quite true, in the story he was also an MM. Beware the quiet ones.
  14. You display a fine knowledge of the subject. Godfrey's MM was earned as a medic at the Somme. In real life, there were two stretcher-bearers awarded the MM at the Somme, and of course, there was Noel Chavasse, who won his first VC at that battle. (He won his second VC at Passchendaele, where he also lost his life.) Captain Noel Godfrey Chavasse, VC and Bar, MC, RAMC. I would like to think that Pte Godfrey was named in honour of this remarkable man.

    A good reason to despise walts if ever I heard one.

  15. Really? I've met fcuking thousands.