Oi, wheres our Arrse gongs?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Jerboa, Nov 4, 2003.

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  1. I noticed that Flash got a special Black Gong for getting rid of the Bunny Boiler.

    Where the fcuk is mine, MDN's, ORG's, Ma's, Gunnies, PG's, Blackhand's, rude's etc, etc, etc.

    The least we could get is a unit citation :D :D :D
  2. I want at least an MI(arrse)D, Flash was a double crossing stitching double agent, we were the fighting forces in the open ground at risk of Balaclava clad nutty people knocking on the front door.

    Whens the gong parade, ORG will need a couple of weeks of Lipposuction to squeeze into his twos
  3. Just dug my boots crunchy out of the loft and will scrounge a ginger marching suit from somewhere.

    ORG can't where his, the Parachute seamstresses at Hendon need three weeks just to gather enough material to make two's to go round his gut.

    Credit where credit is due, he did show bravery under emmense amounts of bullshit being lobbed in all directions from the enemy.

    Even ginger tubby people can be brave.
  4. I want mine for the following reasons:-

    a. BB was a fruitcake that scared the rats out of my office. Whilst I should thank her for this, I no longer have an excuse to keep the missus out of here.

    b. I have to deal, on a daily basis, with a very fat, balding, goatee bearded tracksuit and cheap fleece wearing northern animal fiddler. You may know him as MDN

    c. I have been forced to read the posts of rudeblerk, a 19 year old wannabe that thinks he has the right to publish on a military forum just because he did 18 months with the CCF and attended 2 "camps" where, apparently, they even let him into the NAAFI, but only to the growlers as he was too young to venture into the bar.

    As much as it grieves me, I have to agree with the Telly Tubby, Flashes award was unjustified as he consistantly sat on the fence in public whilst building the fruitcakes funeral pyre in private. He was more the "admin clerk", hiding behind his desk, whilst we were at constant threat from the fruitcakes "SF (Service history Fabricated)" pals OP's hiding in our tea bags and snatch squads waiting in the airing cupboards.
  5. I recommend that the victorious, brave and handsome chaps who vanquished the bunny boiling enemy have the 'Freedom of ARRSE' bestowed upon them.Thus giving them the right to march through the pages of ARRSE with drums beating flags flying and (pork) bayonets fixed.

    As for another gong - Yes please, it will sit nicely with my dozen for being the best looking man in NATO for 12 years running.
  6. The man on the fence has indeed been decorated in advance of any announcements.

    Unless of course its a medal he bought at the market and shabbily stuck it on his itchy outfit.

    If he got a gong for being a fence sitting double crossing stitcher, surely the valiant and sexy aggressors deserve at least an Arrse Cross. If we need a rodney to verify the various acts of selfless bravery we will find one and threaten him with being the next victim unless he embelishes stories and recounts deeds of heroism
  7. could the mighty COs, Good and Bad, commision an Arrse Medal for those who fought in the GI Jargon war?
    Hell of a campaign, i think it deserves recognition.
  8. Not forgetting, of course, the less publicised but equally important war against the hillbilly rantings of XXXJake.

    The citation reads:

    "Despite fighting an enemy, powerful due to his lack of irony, members of ARRSE continually heckled and harassed him, until he was forced to retire to his rumshack in Louisiana."

    An ARRSE MC is appropriate (Moonshine Conqueror)
  9. i remember that drawn out battle well, but as usual we were victorious, lets hope we dont have to wait as long as the guys waited for the suez gogn.
  10. The general Arrse service medal could be an ongoing campaign, like our own very little Northern Ireland with the constant and often unwritten about war of attrition between the ARRSE regulars and the likes or The_sailor & Jake......

    Surely that it worthy of a mention, we even have our own little poncy home guard in the Form of the old derelicts like Lippy and Ex Dvr...maybe we could hold a Jamboree or a gala..for them or donate some trousers and bedding that doesn't stink of piss
  11. be nice for our forays into foriegn lands such as GI Jargon to be recognised as well though, if someone gets a gong for ousting the bunny boiler then why not for combat against those damn yanks? worse than the hun!!
  12. Good CO

    Good CO LE Admin

    I am going to create a range of medals with monthly nominations. 5 perhaps. This will continue until I and / or everyone else gets bored with it.

    The utter balls medal (most ridiculous, long winded, pointless post outisde the NAAFI bar)
    The services to arrse medal (self nominations allowed - posters posted, members recuited, etc (awarded immediately to anyone with the ability to host the arrse photo library - see ARRSE problems and suggestions))
    The black medal (undisclosed services - no nominations)
    The huge brain medal (most intellectual post)
    The comic genius medal (anyone remember the "force multiplier" post from a year or so ago? Still makes me chuckle).

    A few days for any other ideas here, then I'll start a nominations board. Don't bother, it's a crap idea posts also welcome.
  13. HLS

    HLS Old-Salt

    How about an UN (arrse) medal for stepping in and preventing a blood letting on the boards.

    Otherwise shove up your arrse you medal chasing tossers :lol:
  14. X-Inf

    X-Inf War Hero Book Reviewer

    How about
    The Common Sense Medal (CSM) awarded to anyone talking sense in the NAAFI Bar (followed immediately by being drummed out of ARRSE) :twisted:
  15. I'd have been happy with a Mention in Despatches..........or a 'sports afternoon' (do we still have them?).