Oh No!

#1
I've just got that all too familiar gurgle from my guts. Me and my hoop are in for a bad day tomorrow... bastard... just thought you'd like to know.
 
#3
trombone84 said:
I've just got that all too familiar gurgle from my guts. Me and my hoop are in for a bad day tomorrow... bastard... just thought you'd like to know.
I look on the bright side when l have days like this. At least when it happens l lose some weight :D
 
#4
Thank-you so much for sharing.

Spuds, lots, to bung you up.

Alternatively eat some chili which will give you something to concentrate on, and helps you hold it in, rather than face the ring of fire again. :x
It also has the advantage of making the atmosphere unbearable for everyone else, - If you are going to suffer then they are too. :toilet:
 
#5
Line your manpanties with bog paper in case you squid out. Might save a brown egg on the outside kellies but possibly make you look like a doofus if some sheets fall down the pant leg.

.. I'm not talking from experience, really I'm not.
 
#6
The dreaded Calcutta Splutter. Try a couple of spoons of cornflour in a glass with a little water. That should turn the lot to cement.

Only problem is you can't fax Downing Street for about a week and when you eventually do you can feel your hip bones crackle as you expel the giant peanut studded monster from your mudbox.
 
#7
Make sure you leave a pressie in someones kettle it always boosts your morale in the time of dire needs, be around when they do boil the kettle also, its quality espically if its someone of importance. :twisted:
 

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
#8
Poop into an ice tray. Freeze said poop. Meanwhile melt some chocolate (it doesn't have to be high quality). When poop is frozen solid release from the tray and cover the hardened pieces in the melted chocolate. Leave on the desk of the least favourite munter in the place. I would strongly advise a discreet video camera, linked to U-Tube.
 
#9
Trombone, I sympathise as last nights rather excellent beef vindaloo and I have just parted company. The uncomfortavle warmth in the ring was eased by the gaging sound in the next door thunder trap.

Let it out mate - short term pain for long term gain etc....

Legs - I like your style!
 
#12
trombone84 said:
Thank fuck the roads weren't busy on the way home! I may have done some irreversible damage though. :(
That is most definitly something to be very proud of. I like the way it has splattered slightly on the sides, resembling a small flock of starlings. good work. :D
 
#17
Just remember to spread the cheeks before sitting on the pot....it saves the gravy smearing on the cheeks...hence less wiping....although the aperture "focuses" the chutney jet towards the back of the pan leaving horrific scarring......
 

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#18
Semi solid doesn't count. Back to the Indian restaurant for another helping of pile cauterisers washed down with urine weak lager...

Try to get it right this time. Liquid fertiliser should have the consistency of runny paint and spray at least two thirds of the way up the sides of the dump machine. Use week old leftover curry and green mince from the back of the fridge to augment the mix if required.
 
#19
This thread isnt even Naffi bar, its so park bench - it should go in the Arsse hole as that where its clearly come from....

With me on this MODS?
 

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