My jaw recently made an indentation in the deck when I received an email from ARRSE advertising... ...wait for it... ARRSE-branded Chap's Haberdashery. It would appear that, for various outrageous sums, one can now be resplendent in: - An ARRSE "City" Tie; - An ARRSE "Country" Tie;" - An ARRSE Dickie; and even: - An ARRSE watch strap.* Impressive, but it seems to me that the brand design team may be missing out on the key items in a gentleman's wardrobe. To wit: ARSSE Bowler: Subtly, branded, but with an unsubtle metal brim, handy for throwing at Jerries, Japs, Argies, Jihadis, etc. ARRSE-branded Shell Suit: The local chavs' mouths will be watering at this, the final word in sartorial elegance. ARRSE Cufflinks: A brace of Mr Mushroom Heads on one's sleeves demonstrate the appropriate je ne said quois (as the Crapauds say) ARRSE Boxers: To come equipped with a small E&E pouch containing an emergency escape kit (designed to handle the various misadventures ARRSERS claim to have been involved in, after hours) And - speaking of pouches: ARRSE Leather Pose Pouch 'n Thong: Complete with appropriately placed Mr Mushroom Head. Moreover... ARRSE clearly needs a model to sport this spunking set of kit on the catwalk. Who should said fellow be? Becks does not really suit the brand, and the obvious answer, when it comes to fancy dress, is the Baron himself, but he may umbrage, given his various legal issues, so I wonder who the most appropriate "brand ambassador" would be? Fashionistas! Have yer say! * "Watch strap?" Shome misthake, shurely?