Oh cruel world what is this hideous curse you have unleashed on us?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Abdiel, May 15, 2011.

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  1. Recently I met up with a girl I had last seen at school when I last saw her years ago she had been a rather scary goth who used to cut her wrists not the sort who would drive you into a teenage thrapping frenzy.
    However seeing her again: blimey schwiinggg years at university has done her good in the looks department no longer a goth she is now stunning and oh my God she has tits to die for I can honestly say I have never seen tits that good outside a porn film and she's not shy about showing them off, well can't resist sauntering over for a chat for old times sake can we.
    So whats there to complain about ye wise members of Arrse demand?!


    I say Uni has done her good in the looks department but not in the Brain department to my utter horror I found she's become an absolute Femmi-Nazi and I mean seriously not that she's become a carpet muncher but she was spouting out feminista preaching like the bellagio fountain, its gets worst than that she's also a die-hard labour supporter an avid reader of the guardian she twittered on about how the nation is doomed under the coalition and how Ed millipede will save us all and her personal role model Harriet Harman (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!) and thats not all she's also involved in a number of liberal pressure movements UNITE, UAF, Liberty you name it she's probably a part of it.

    Ok you asked why not just pretend to listen blag your way through the conversation and just stare at her tits, thats not an option as well for she seems to be a prime candidate to pull the typical almost raped scenario and for those that have not read the arrsepedia page that is: "I was almost raped in a bar last year. I had a couple of drinks, then a guy came up to me and we started talking. Later, he asked "Do you want to have sex?" and I said "yes". We went back to his place, got naked, I sucked him off, and just as he was about to place his penis in my vagina, I screamed "OMIGOD YOU SICK FUCK!" and called the cops. He's currently serving a 10 year prison sentence."
    In fact I did not dare tell her I was currently enlisting for fear she might pull the almost raped trap on me so that there would never be any chance of me harming any inoncent, would'nt hurt a fly jihadist as I'd be spending the next ten years in the big house instead of the next ten years in uniform.
    Oh how cruel it was fine when the feminazi's were all eighteen stone munters for that meant for sure you would never run the risk of shagging or marrying one but when they start pulling the good looking ones into their ranks something is hideously wrong with the world.

    Although I certainly would.....If I had a good ball gag.
  2. Did you write that while on speed?
  3. Why don't you publish this fucking drivel elsewhere, I mean, there must be some sites out there for students? Try googling "wankers 'R' Us" or "Poncy twats." Your avatar sucks by the way, try this one, it fits:

  4. No as that would bugger any career options in the armed forces but Vodka did play a part in it.
  5. Whatever happened to shagging anything vaguely female? Or has that gone out of fashion and I'm the only one doing it?
  6. Cernunnos, can you show the OP how it should be done, and update us all on your exploits, please?