officers

#1
this is one for the lads....

Officer material:
A main in a hot air ballooon realised he was lost.
He reduced his altitude and spotted a woman below.
He descended a bit more and shouted:
"Excuse me, can you help me?
I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but dont know where I am"
The woman below replied:
"You're in a hbot air ballon hovering approximatley 30 feet above the ground. Your'e between 40 and 45 degs North latitude and between 9 and 60 degs West longitude"
"You must be in Information technology" said the balloonist.
"I am" replied the woman, " How did you know?"
"Well " answered the balloonist, "everthing you told me is technically correct but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."
The woman below responded, "You must be an officer,"
"I am!" replied the balloonist, " but how did you know?"
"Well", said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.
You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met but now, somehow, it's my fault."
 

Auld-Yin

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#2
Officers:

Well, if they are good they rise to the top and become poodles of the party currently running Westminster.

If they are really good they leave early at Captain stage and do real work

If they are in a post where some work needs to be done - then they are LEs.
 
#3
Lol, I've seen that joke before.

Its normally a pilot in the ballon and a techy on the ground though.
 

Auld-Yin

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#4
TheHelpfulStacker said:
Lol, I've seen that joke before.

Its normally a pilot in the ballon and a techy on the ground though.
Boy have you got a shock coming to you - it is not a joke! :twisted:
 
#5
Auld-Yin, spot on with the good officers bailing out at Capt/Maj. The good officers that I've known are split in to three parts; LE's, Signed off, and a small percentage still cutting about.

Ruperts, all still in.

And a few in the middle that I never made my mind up about.
 
#7
HA HA , Monserrat is back . And what the hell do you know about Officers ,Maps and a Bloody Compass . You are a total fuckwit go away before i bring the boys round you tit .
 
G

Goku

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#8
AHHHH Monserrat, going on what you’ve said in the past, you know very little about being an officer or a soldier. Why are you even on this sight, you complete prat!! :twisted:
 
#9
Whatever you may think of officers, our system of "Posh, pro's and plebs" works. It has been proven over centuries, and is not about to change.
I'm sure we are all guilty of the occasional co*k-up, but as officers are more high-profile, our errors are more difficult to hide.
 
#10
Ah mongsertwat, the man/woman/thing who has absolutly no experiance of life in green kit attempting to make comments on a subject he/she/it knows nothing about.
Soldier - has years of experiance on exercises/courses/tours
Officer - has not a huge amount of experiance but has to do the job anyway

I do feel sorry for them because they haven't got a huge amount of experiance with a map and when they make a mistake they get publicly shat on. Oh well, their choice I supose.

The most dangerous thing on a map is an officer with a map, for proof read the biggest fcuk ups you have seen in the RE forum
 
#11
Wilst out in that dusty smelly place my YO who was commanding my vehicle decided to take a short cut through an ally way.Thinking it was a decent road 2 minutes later we were bogged in, he dismounted to assess the stuckyness of the vehicle. So i decided to get revenge for the fcuk up and floored it, covering him in wheel spining human waste. lets just say he did top cover all the way back.

"Revenge is sweet but stinks of sh*t"
 
#12
Sleeper - I've never heard it described as 'Posh Pros and Plebs' before, love it! There's no way I could be described as posh, so that leaves two to choose from.

Wow! Monserrat's back too! Whatever next? Are you up for some banter this time, old chap?

Before you start on the seasoned Arrse professionals, I should warn you (minimally experienced creature that you are) that it's a standing joke that officers can't navigate. It even applies to those of us who can and we generally laugh along.

As my current employers say:

"You can't have lost without the Lt".

JAFSO
 
#13
JAFSO said:
Before you start on the seasoned Arrse professionals, I should warn you (minimally experienced creature that you are) that it's a standing joke that officers can't navigate.JAFSO
JAFSO
Crow
Joined: May 14, 2005
Posts: 6

8O

Come on then, seasoned professional that you are - who were you?

(Assuming that you can both count and work out the date as well as navigate [you say])
 
#14
plant_life said:
Soldier - has years of experiance on exercises/courses/tours
Officer - has not a huge amount of experiance but has to do the job anyway
A claim which is immediately nullified by taking the example of a soldier who has done one year's service and an officer who has done two!

It's not really the most water-tight of arguments is it?
 
#15
Abacus,

I stand corrected fella - in my efforts to get a bite from Monserrat I worded my post badly. I was referring to 'the' seasoned Arrse professionals (notice I didn't say 'us' Arrse professionals) - I am indeed an Arrse crow.

Hope I didn't ruin your day.
 
#17
Sangreal said:
plant_life said:
Soldier - has years of experiance on exercises/courses/tours
Officer - has not a huge amount of experiance but has to do the job anyway
A claim which is immediately nullified by taking the example of a soldier who has done one year's service and an officer who has done two!

It's not really the most water-tight of arguments is it?
When would you be in a situation where a tom with one years experiance has to navigate?
 
#18
plant_life said:
Sangreal said:
plant_life said:
Soldier - has years of experiance on exercises/courses/tours
Officer - has not a huge amount of experiance but has to do the job anyway
A claim which is immediately nullified by taking the example of a soldier who has done one year's service and an officer who has done two!

It's not really the most water-tight of arguments is it?
When would you be in a situation where a tom with one years experiance has to navigate?
Up Sh*t Creek?
 
#19
Monserrat said:
Soldier - completed basic training

Officer - completed RMAS

Which one knows more about map and compass?

Myths myths myths.

And those who have done both?
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
#20
Sangreal said:
plant_life said:
Sangreal said:
plant_life said:
Soldier - has years of experiance on exercises/courses/tours
Officer - has not a huge amount of experiance but has to do the job anyway
A claim which is immediately nullified by taking the example of a soldier who has done one year's service and an officer who has done two!

It's not really the most water-tight of arguments is it?
When would you be in a situation where a tom with one years experiance has to navigate?
Funny that but 24 years ago when I left Shornecliffe at least one of the skills I was confident with was navigation with and without compasses, I suppose growing up with long walks on Bodmin moor and minimal parental supervision taught me a certain self reliance and the confidence to beable to check my own calculations as many times as necessary to reinforce that. I was good enough about 5 years later to navex around the Blck Rincon at night with a B&W roneo repro of a 1 in 25000 and no need for the suunto! That was what say 42 weeks in green at IJLB!
Up Sh*t Creek?
 

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