Officer's Fitness Reports....

The British Military writes OFR's (officer fitness reports). The form used
for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are
actual excerpts taken from people's "206's"....

- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

- I would not breed from this Officer.

- This Officer is really not so much of a has-been,
but more of a definitely won't-be.

- When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change
whichever foot was previously in there.

- He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire
satisfaction.

- He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

- Technically sound, but socially impossible.

- This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around
at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.

- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

- When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then
he has aged considerably.

- This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to
port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.

- Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.

- She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve
them.

- He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.

- This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.

- In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.

- The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.

- Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a
trap

- This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

- Only occasionally wets himself under pressure
 
-when you see 2 officers talking and one looking bored, he is the other one...
 

seaweed

LE
Book Reviewer
Some wrinkled chestnuts - at least one of these has been quoted to me from WW1!
 
Or finally, This Officer is Supremely confident in his own abilities, however we don't share his same view,
 
Lighthouse in a desert anyone? Or does that apply across the board.
 
"2Lt Snodgrass has all the skills, attributes and qualities that mark him out for divisional command. However, he is finding commanding his platoon somewhat more challenging..."
 
"2Lt Snodgrass has all the skills, attributes and qualities that mark him out for divisional command. However, he is finding commanding his platoon somewhat more challenging..."
Ah, many a truth told in jest. I managed to get a glowing recommendation for 2 ranks up whilst not getting one for the next rank.
 

BounceBanana

War Hero
This officer was Head Boy at Eton. The school reported that he could pursue any career path he wanted. Unfortunately he chose the Army. His men have detected a religious bent in his character even dubbing him a disciple of Sandhurst. His map reading skills are illusory. His upper body strength might be described if he exhibited any. The only way he could pass A levels is if he ate someone else's certificate.
 
B

bokkatankie

Guest
The British Military writes OFR's (officer fitness reports). The form used
for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are
actual excerpts taken from people's "206's"....

- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

- I would not breed from this Officer.

- This Officer is really not so much of a has-been,
but more of a definitely won't-be.

- When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change
whichever foot was previously in there.

- He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire
satisfaction.

- He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

- Technically sound, but socially impossible.

- This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around
at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.

- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

- When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then
he has aged considerably.

- This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to
port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.

- Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.

- She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve
them.

- He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.

- This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.

- In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.

- The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.

- Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a
trap

- This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

- Only occasionally wets himself under pressure
Christ on a crutch can jokes on here get any older? I think a Roman Centurion first penned those!
 

CanteenCowboy

LE
Book Reviewer
My favourite was always this one: "His men would follow him anywhere; mainly out of a morbid sense of curiosity."
 

Duppy

Old-Salt
Let us not forget another old chestnut; This man is destined to go through life pulling doors marked push.
 

Hard Rations

Old-Salt
Let us not forget another old chestnut; This man is destined to go through life pulling doors marked push.
Or walking up the down escalator.
 

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