Officer's Fitness Reports....

Discussion in 'Armed Forces Jokes' started by uncle_vanya, Feb 9, 2013.

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  1. The British Military writes OFR's (officer fitness reports). The form used
    for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are
    actual excerpts taken from people's "206's"....

    - His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

    - I would not breed from this Officer.

    - This Officer is really not so much of a has-been,
    but more of a definitely won't-be.

    - When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change
    whichever foot was previously in there.

    - He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire

    - He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

    - Technically sound, but socially impossible.

    - This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around
    at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.

    - This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

    - When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then
    he has aged considerably.

    - This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to
    port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.

    - Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.

    - She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve

    - He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.

    - This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.

    - In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.

    - The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.

    - Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a

    - This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

    - Only occasionally wets himself under pressure
    • Like Like x 4
    • Funny Funny x 1
  2. And these I assume are the intelligent ones.
  3. PERSEC! How did you get hold of my CR book?!
  4. Actually I thought he was quoting from my PERs...excepting that I was a NCO, not a holder of the Queens commission.
  5. -when you see 2 officers talking and one looking bored, he is the other one...
  6. seaweed

    seaweed LE Book Reviewer

    Some wrinkled chestnuts - at least one of these has been quoted to me from WW1!
    • Like Like x 2
  7. I always liked the one, works well in wet denims.
  8. Or finally, This Officer is Supremely confident in his own abilities, however we don't share his same view,
  9. Lighthouse in a desert anyone? Or does that apply across the board.
  10. "2Lt Snodgrass has all the skills, attributes and qualities that mark him out for divisional command. However, he is finding commanding his platoon somewhat more challenging..."
  11. This officer has a singular ability as one might expect of his bloodline.
  12. Ah, many a truth told in jest. I managed to get a glowing recommendation for 2 ranks up whilst not getting one for the next rank.
  13. This officer was Head Boy at Eton. The school reported that he could pursue any career path he wanted. Unfortunately he chose the Army. His men have detected a religious bent in his character even dubbing him a disciple of Sandhurst. His map reading skills are illusory. His upper body strength might be described if he exhibited any. The only way he could pass A levels is if he ate someone else's certificate.
  14. Christ on a crutch can jokes on here get any older? I think a Roman Centurion first penned those!
    • Like Like x 1
  15. CanteenCowboy

    CanteenCowboy LE Book Reviewer

    My favourite was always this one: "His men would follow him anywhere; mainly out of a morbid sense of curiosity."
    • Like Like x 2