Two retired Colonels sat in their club reading the newspapers. "I say, old boy", said one to the other, "Says here they've found old Carruthers". "What, you mean him from the Fighting Fifth, that went missing in Malaya in '45". "Yes, that's the chap", says old redoubtable. "So where's he been all these years?" said his oppo. "Well, says here they found him living up a tree with a bloody monkey". "A WHAT, a monkey". He paused then added, "Errr, male or female". Came the reply, "Oh well, it would be female of course, you know old Carruthers was never like that".