Officer relationships within the same unit.

Discussion in 'Officers' started by Bannerman_82, Apr 30, 2013.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Before anyone jumps on me- not a wah, not a wind up, not a journo.

    Just wanted to ask this question in relative anonymity to gauge peoples thoughts from a variety of sources (and realising I'll have to take responses with a pinch of salt, expecting everything from unhelpful abusive and maybe one or two useful).

    Basically my question is about starting a relationship between serving officers in a unit (regiment or battalion in the field army). Now aside from the obvious no-no relationships i.e. Adj and junior officer, OC and troopie or any other chain of command conflicts, what do people think about 2 troop/platoon commanders getting into a relationship (heterosexual but I guess the question stands for homosexual as well)?

    First part of the question is will people get arrsey about it being inappropriate i.e. will people argue it fails the service test? Second part of the question is even if it's technically allowed and they can't do you for it, do you reckon it's just a bad idea full stop and will cause problems?

    The topic arose because of two people from my intake at sandhurst getting it on in the same regiment (not sure if they are same squadron, that could perhaps change things?) and we had a long argument about whether or not it was on, and if the situation changed if it was junior captain/troopy. I also ask partially out of self-interest because there is a fit SPS Det commander chick in our regiment who I'd love to smash.

    I await with anticipation a barrage of abuse, heckling, shouts of 'oxygen thief' and normal ARRSE day to day business, in the hope that there are one or two diamonds in the rough.

    I also realise it's a controversial topic but I am always interested in the whole values and standards and relationships within the services piece. That and alcohol seem to cause the end of more careers than any amount of actual incompetence or just being a shit soldier.
  2. "Have their actions or behaviour affected, or are they likely to affect the operational effectiveness of your unit?"

    The answer to that question is your answer :)
  3. You've answered most of it yourself - those instances that massively fail the Service Test are CoC relationships. Within the same Sqn/Coy would be allowed but I would sugegst inadvsable. The only people that would frown on having a relationship with someone in another sub-unit (or an attached arms officer) are those that are jealous.

    Note, this refers to relationships - smashing the Det Comd and then breaking her heart will have the CoC looking down on you, however if she's sleeping with multiple subbies it will look bad on her. Frankly half the bints in my intake were only in it to marry a dashing teeth arms officer.
  4. What he said ^^ (aka AGAI 67)
  5. So if they were married and APC assigned them both to the same unit would cause an issue? if so because.......?

    Recent units I have served with has has WO2 & SSgts married in the same sqn, SSgt & LCpl in same unit. And not on one occaison has there been any issue, infact quite the opposite as both parties accept the rank structure CoC and above all the Army and its quirks.

    Unless they are going hammer and tongs on a desk or in the back of a wagon this is a no story journo or not
  6. I'd think you much less of a **** if you'd skipped the Pimms inspired pseudo-intellectual waffle, but I digress.

    Rupert-on-rupert relations are a bad idea.

    To do the job, you sometimes need to make tough decisions. That feasibly includes putting at risk, sacraficing or even (in an albeit extreme situation) taking the life of a colleague. If you could do that while in a relationship with said colleague, there's probably something wrong with you. And, regardless of whether you can convince people that's the case, it only takes one jealous person to put a spanner in the works.
  7. You know the site rules. PMs are acceptable.
  8. I've seen it happen - RA Officer, SPS Det Commander. RA Officers (both Subbies, one senior to the other, but not Adjt) on more than one occassion.

    Never has it caused a problem, as in their particular cases, I don't see how it could have. The first instance fizzled - they just didn't get on. The other ones all ended up married, with (as it happens) the husbands of the partnerships going on to better things rank/appointment wise.

    DeltaDogs rather extreme tale of caution could technically be an issue, but I can't think of many instances where one officer has been asked to (or had to because of circumstance) sacrifice one of their fellow officers, let alone where that situation would see one officer sacrificing their boy/girlfriend.

    As most capabadges move people around every couple of years, it is likely that they would only serve 2 years (maybe 3) in the same unit before one or both moved on to another job any way.


    As stated by others, run it past the service test. Would your nailing of the Det Comd bring her or you or the service in to disrepute? Would you then tell all the blokes in your Pl/Coy/Sqn/Tp or whatever what a great lay she was (or would she of you)? would it all get a bit messy if you did and then nothing came of it and one or both of you became stalkers or a bit unbalanced because of it? Would it create unnecessary tension in the workplace? these questions are pretty much universal for work place relationships, not just officer on officer.