Office Pr1cks and Technology

#1
I need to have rant I work in relatively small office about 12 people max, 2 of the said persons are techie geeks not really a problem but when they are walking round the office with headsets on (small bluetooth style) having conversations its beggining to grip my sh1t.
There are three reasons in particular why this annoys me.Reason one when using the headsets they are normally standing up and walking around theier own desk areas the phone is next to them ffs why use the headset
Secondly when talking out loud and wandering around I am not sure if they are talking to me only to find they are not.
Thirdly they sit at the desks wearing the f00king things trying to look like some startrek borg thing they decide they need to speak to you all well and good, until you go to the office and they still have these tw@tting things still on their heads and then have the cheek to do the finger pointing thing to the headset as if to say dont disturb me I'm on a conference call.
Surely there must be some protcol rules regarding these things I swear Ill tw@t one of them soon all suggestions in helping me out of this frustrating dilema will be gratefully recieved

Rant over
 

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
#2
I'm pretty sure that if you work in a military office these things are not allowed due to the fact that the call can be overheard by bad guys. It's the same with cordless phones. Nope - not allowed.

I used to work for an Officer who permanently had one of the corded microphone/headset things attached to his head. He looked like he should have been working in a call centre. He didn't like it when I told him that, and soon stopped using it. His excuse - the band at the top was making him go bald!!
 
#3
Get a set yoursel pop them on, then every time 1 of those ignorant people talk to you, simply tap your own headphones while sighing and looking at the ceiling.
 
#4
Sellotape the handset of your phone to your head, walk around your desk shouting at the top of your voice "I am underpaid and thus cannot afford a Bluetooth headset. Give me a pay rise you bunch of tw@ts!" That will work. Failing that, "accidentally" pour AVGAS over your collegues heads and set fire to it. I sympathise with you. Do they wear red braces as well (over thier combats presumably).
 
#7
I have a corded headset, but only so I can surf the web while I'm on some boring conference call. Paid for by my employer anyway - I got fed up with getting a neck and back pain when clutching a phone to my ear with my shoulder while typing at the same time.
 
#8
Not an office pr!ck, but was in A&E the other week and saw a guy using one of the older corded hands free kit with his mobile. What annoyed me was that his phone was in his hand. Why did he need hands free if his phone was in his hand?? I mean he wasn't disabled or anything. Incidentally, he was walking around shouting into the mouth piece so everyone could hear his really important conversation. Cnut. Should have twatted him with my crutch.
 
#9
Irishmech said:
Not an office pr!ck, but was in A&E the other week and saw a guy using one of the older corded hands free kit with his mobile. What annoyed me was that his phone was in his hand. Why did he need hands free if his phone was in his hand?? I mean he wasn't disabled or anything. Incidentally, he was walking around shouting into the mouth piece so everyone could hear his really important conversation. Cnut. Should have **** him with my crutch.
Why the hell was he allowed to use it in A&E anyway? I know they've realxed the rules about use of mobile phones in hospitals recently, but I thought A&E was still covered by a mobile use ban.
 
#11
DigitalGeek said:
Sellotape the handset of your phone to your head, walk around your desk shouting at the top of your voice "I am underpaid and thus cannot afford a Bluetooth headset. Give me a pay rise you bunch of tw@ts!" That will work. Failing that, "accidentally" pour AVGAS over your collegues heads and set fire to it. I sympathise with you. Do they wear red braces as well (over thier combats presumably).
The AVGAS idea is appealling DG but sadly Im a civvy now so I was thinking of using Lighter fuel as a substitute or a aerosol can and a bic lighter
 
#12
There was some bloke in my local the other evening sitting, in company, with one of those things stuck in his ear and a baseball hat on. All agreed that he looked a complete pr*ck!
 
#16
Get a poncho and set up a lean-to basha at you desk. Spend all day under said basha with a 320 manpack with a speaker attached. Have the speaker at full blast giving the office wallahs a bit of white noise to melt their melons, have on a set of headphones on yourself so that the HF noise doesn't bother you.
At random intervals you should start blasting out morse on a thigh-key and every hour on the hour, change the battery and recharge the old one with a hand winder.
Have a stand to by the vendors when you get into and when you leave work.
If anyone comes over to speak to you, don't pretend to be on a conference call, that would be purile. Just smash them in the face with an entrenching tool.
If the office manager asks why you did this just tell "He didn't know the password. For all I know he could be a red after me BATCO sheets."
 

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