Office of the Walt-Finder General

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Chalky, Sep 25, 2006.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Walts.

    We all hate them.

    We hate their airsofting, paint-balling in a Noddysuit, wearing our cap-badges-like ways.

    We hate their wearing of medals they haven't earned, their stories of wars never fought and their disgraceful hyperbole of the time they were in 49 Para, annoying those of us that were actually there in the glory days.

    So, in response to this, I propose establishing the Office of the Walt-Finder General: a department so secretive and prestigious as to make the personal files of THEM look like Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire i.e. sold in your local ASDA for £7.99.

    A department committed with the singular aim of rooting out the Walts of this nation and bringing their pale, chubby faces into the light of day.

    Answerable only to the Queen and funded by moneys taken from the Department of Health's Homeopathy for the Homeless program (about £1.3 Billion per annum), we will send forth the Walt Finders of ARRSE out into the world to end this scourge once and for all.

    So, who's with me, who will hold this prestigious office and how, oh God how, will this work?
  2. I second the motion, have no idea how it'll work :p

    Maybe the photographic evidence I have will help?
  3. We'll need some snazzy suits...the obligatory fact finding tours of Bermuda... and some shades for starters...
  4. I'm up for it!
  5. I'd like to hunt some walts as well... :oops:
  6. Send a few of us to the pub for some low level research *await joke about my stature and anywork I do being low level* and see if we can spot them, then like the drug dealers, they will lead us to a bigger walt, someone they spend time with on MSN or at the pub or god forbid, at rememberance day parades in the crowds going on about how they can't parade because there are still people after them!
  7. I like the idea, but surely the identity of the Walt Finder General should be so secret that not even the person holding the office knows who it is.

    Unless, of course, the OWFG is just maskirovka - a font organisation to confuse and mislead that hides the existence of the real organisation – the ***** *** ******* ** **** ****.

    Oops, I’ve already said too much – I’d better go and shred myself!
  8. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    Not to mention trips to Australia and New Zealand to compare notes
    with their already long established Waltfinding department.

    In fact can I suggest that we should be sending an advanced research group to Australia, about 3 months should do the job nicely and November seems like a good time to start. Erm, maybe our first meeting should be in Brisbane????
  9. Sounds like a plan. We have our first modus operandi.
  10. Brisbane.... fantastic idea... I know a great little bar to start in... it's downtown..... "The WALTzing Matilda"
  11. Do we get badges and our lunch paid?
  12. How do iron-on badges and horror bags sound?
  13. Count me in!
  14. We need an intelligence service or WaltInt, in order to profile and locate likely Walt offenders ready for linemanloz and his Pub teams to track on the ground.

    Also, a dog unit with canines specially trained to track down the smell of bullsh*t.