Walts. We all hate them. We hate their airsofting, paint-balling in a Noddysuit, wearing our cap-badges-like ways. We hate their wearing of medals they haven't earned, their stories of wars never fought and their disgraceful hyperbole of the time they were in 49 Para, annoying those of us that were actually there in the glory days. So, in response to this, I propose establishing the Office of the Walt-Finder General: a department so secretive and prestigious as to make the personal files of THEM look like Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire i.e. sold in your local ASDA for Â£7.99. A department committed with the singular aim of rooting out the Walts of this nation and bringing their pale, chubby faces into the light of day. Answerable only to the Queen and funded by moneys taken from the Department of Health's Homeopathy for the Homeless program (about Â£1.3 Billion per annum), we will send forth the Walt Finders of ARRSE out into the world to end this scourge once and for all. So, who's with me, who will hold this prestigious office and how, oh God how, will this work?