Office Artillery?

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by jimnicebutdim, Nov 16, 2006.

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  1. Does anyone know of any good methods of creating mortars, explosives etc out of normal items of ofice stationary.

    We have an office full of JRs and we're bored
  2. chewy mints (mentos) and cola
    drop a couple of the little mentos into a bottle of coke and watch the results i advise you get someone else to do it is its bloody messy

    heres the proof!

  3. Except that when you drop Mentos into Lemonade, absolutely fuck all happens.

    Cola, on the other-hand.....
  4. old favourite - shake up a can of their fizz whilst they're away.
    childish, but still funny....
  5. yeah saw that apologies for being a div

  6. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    Fairly standard:

    1 x bic biro = perfect blowpipe without the innerds.

    For the perfect school boy effect use with freshly chewed blotting paper!!!
  7. The_Duke

    The_Duke LE Moderator

    Not explosive/projectile based, but worth doing to watch the fireworks....

    1. Photocopy several copies of your best quality grot.
    2. Reinsert back into the paper stack at random intervals, face down.
    3. Wait and play "double anal roulette" as you watch and see which senior officer/secretary (delete as applicable) gets an unexpected backing to their printing/photocopying.

  8. sheldrake

    sheldrake RIP

    Ruler, 12 inch, flicking for the use of...

    Blotting paper, soaking, for the use of...

    Ink, blue or black, pens, filling, for the use of.....


  9. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    You sadistic old bugger-

    I love that idea. :)
  10. Even better than that and one that wont get you sacked or arrested.

    1. Photocopy a peice of paper with a paper clip attached to the corner
    2. Reinsert back into the paper stack at random intervals.
    3. Wait and watch the next person trying to find the paper clip on their paper.
  11. (1) Old fashioned hollow ended key (e.g. padlock key)
    (2) Pack hole with red (non safety) match heads
    (3) Pack end with projectile of choice. Needs to be airtight.
    (4) Hold key in position with something immoveable (I don't suppose many of you have a vice on your desk!)
    (5) hold lighter flame under key and wait for ignition
  12. I'm sure it was funny when you wrote it, Jock

    Dukes' effort is genius, however, and I believe I shall be using it in future.

    For added fun; if you're computer literate and have an office network, you can connect to a colleagues printer and send on said grot with complete anonymity. Perfect if you want to hear an explosion from the other side of the office.

    Mind you, the Bic Milan is hard to beat
  13. What about this?! Plug it into the USB port on your computer and engage the enemy! Especially all the Dropshorts out there!

    Attached Files:

  14. The Bic Milan, please tell me more