Office Artillery?

#1
Does anyone know of any good methods of creating mortars, explosives etc out of normal items of ofice stationary.

We have an office full of JRs and we're bored
 
#3
Except that when you drop Mentos into Lemonade, absolutely fuck all happens.

Cola, on the other-hand.....
 
T

TheSnake

Guest
#4
old favourite - shake up a can of their fizz whilst they're away.
childish, but still funny....
 
#6
Fairly standard:

1 x bic biro = perfect blowpipe without the innerds.

For the perfect school boy effect use with freshly chewed blotting paper!!!
 

The_Duke

LE
Moderator
#8
Not explosive/projectile based, but worth doing to watch the fireworks....

1. Photocopy several copies of your best quality grot.
2. Reinsert back into the paper stack at random intervals, face down.
3. Wait and play "double anal roulette" as you watch and see which senior officer/secretary (delete as applicable) gets an unexpected backing to their printing/photocopying.

Duke
 
#9
Ruler, 12 inch, flicking for the use of...

Blotting paper, soaking, for the use of...

Ink, blue or black, pens, filling, for the use of.....

INKY PELLET TREBUCHET!

 
#10
The_Duke said:
Not explosive/projectile based, but worth doing to watch the fireworks....

1. Photocopy several copies of your best quality grot.
2. Reinsert back into the paper stack at random intervals, face down.
3. Wait and play "double anal roulette" as you watch and see which senior officer/secretary (delete as applicable) gets an unexpected backing to their printing/photocopying.

Duke
You sadistic old bugger-

I love that idea. :)
 
#11
The_Duke said:
Not explosive/projectile based, but worth doing to watch the fireworks....

1. Photocopy several copies of your best quality grot.
2. Reinsert back into the paper stack at random intervals, face down.
3. Wait and play "double anal roulette" as you watch and see which senior officer/secretary (delete as applicable) gets an unexpected backing to their printing/photocopying.

Duke
Even better than that and one that wont get you sacked or arrested.

1. Photocopy a peice of paper with a paper clip attached to the corner
2. Reinsert back into the paper stack at random intervals.
3. Wait and watch the next person trying to find the paper clip on their paper.
 
#12
(1) Old fashioned hollow ended key (e.g. padlock key)
(2) Pack hole with red (non safety) match heads
(3) Pack end with projectile of choice. Needs to be airtight.
(4) Hold key in position with something immoveable (I don't suppose many of you have a vice on your desk!)
(5) hold lighter flame under key and wait for ignition
 
#13
I'm sure it was funny when you wrote it, Jock

Dukes' effort is genius, however, and I believe I shall be using it in future.

For added fun; if you're computer literate and have an office network, you can connect to a colleagues printer and send on said grot with complete anonymity. Perfect if you want to hear an explosion from the other side of the office.

Mind you, the Bic Milan is hard to beat
 
#14
What about this?! Plug it into the USB port on your computer and engage the enemy! Especially all the Dropshorts out there!
 

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#16
ok schweik if you want to go that far cut a small slit in a tennis ball and fill it with match heads and throw it to see the bang, will scare the shite out of your collegues but may also blow yer fingers off.

Not really a great one for the office I would think.

You could always make up some exploding paste like seen on myth busters. you can find the instructions on line its called logans exploding paste.

Edited to stop the mamsy pamsy pc brigade
 
#17
I recommend the improvised bazooka, although you might not have all the parts at hand in the office.

You will need a coke can, 4 tin cans with slightly bigger diameter than coke can, some harry black, tipex correction thinner fluid or petrol lighter fluid.

Take the tops and bottoms off 3 of the tin cans, and the top off the forth. Using the harry black stick cans together to make a tube. Make a small hole in the tube close to sealed end of the tube. Wrap the coke can in enough harry black to make a tight fit in the end of the tube.

Warm the end of the tube with a lighter, then squirt a LITTLE amount of petrol into the hole, place bazooka on your mate’s shoulder and ignite using a match over the fuel hole. Revel in you engineering prowess, until the QRF turns up to investigate the reported explosion at which point make a hasty exist leaving your deaf mate holding the bazooka.
 
#18
CarpeDiem said:
What about this?! Plug it into the USB port on your computer and engage the enemy! Especially all the Dropshorts out there!

Typical Navy- going OTT again, when all you need is a bit of ingenuity.

2 pencils + 1 rubber band = instant catapault!
 
#19
That's not nearly so much fun! Will have my Boss ducking and diving in the office before you know it as he tries to dodge a salvo of foam rockets!
 

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