Offending the god botherers

[lokiuk]

Which one is the USB port?

It's in the butt plug

 

[CivvyPete]

Doesn't ARRSE have a resident theologian. I would have though he would have been all over this thread correcting matters of doctrine, tenets and articles of faith.

Maybe the Jewish slant has put him off.

I thought Top Gear established you aren't allowed to call people a slant these days, it's wacist.

 

[loofkar]

It still surprises me that Christianity has just about conquered the world whereas as Judaism, which is a lot older, has stagnated at around 14 million.
Why should one brand of sky fairy worship be so much more widespread than another to which it is related?

Having been brought up Jewish I completely missed the other main factor for the numerical predominance of Christianity - the threat of hell.
It took a former fundamentalist Christian of great intelligence and integrity to identify it:
The elephant in the corner that I missed.

"There is a reason why Christianity & Islam are the 2 biggest religions in the world. Hell. This is an unedited clip from my livestream found here:" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c62Um...

 

[Drlligaf]

Unlike Judaism, Christianity threatens those who don't become Christian with hell.

More specifically the Roman Catholic Church threatens everyone who doesn't toe their line with Hell. Centuries of persecution, torture and even war against non christians and Protestants.
The other Christians, eg C of E, Orthodox, Quakers, are more laid back.
End of rantex.

PS. One of the kinder means of punishment that the RC was fond of was excommunication. That meant that the person concerned was no long a member of the catholic community, a sort of non person.
Not so nice was the alleged use of waterboarding by the Inquisition.

 

[loofkar]

religion keeping up the good work

Orthodox Church under fire in Romania after baby dies following baptism

Six-week-old suffered cardiac arrest during ceremony, which involves three immersions in holy water

www.theguardian.com

 

[gorillaguts981]

At best, leeches; at worst heartless f*****g criminals. I do not discriminate here between different purveyors of BS.

 

[Lardbeast]

Yer forgot the 'at dint yer?
View attachment 541909
This bit I liked as well, note the last sentence:
How does a yamaka stay on?
If the wearer chooses a suede kippah, bald heads happily have the advantage of a high coefficient of friction. Should all else fail, the ultimate kippah secret is double-sided fashion tape or a dot of one-sided velcro. Please note: stick the velcro to the kippah, not to your head.

Shtreiml, as worn by posh olde school paras in cold weather.

 

[Lardbeast]

Tefillah. A leather box with a part of scripture in it. I had to look it up.

ETA; beaten to it

Aka phylacteries.

 

[Drlligaf]

The Roman Catholic Church has starred again. One of the almost eternal problems is tha lack of women priests in the catholic church. A certain cardinal offered the following wisdom "women priests in the temples were known in ancient times, they served as prostitutes to symbolise the fertility of the Earth". Pure f**king genius. Everyone in the advertising/PR industry will no doubt envy him.
OK maybe not.

 

[loofkar]

They must have hired marketing consultants, I could have sworn their products used to be god and jesus.

A foreign acquaintance not of the persuasion who saw the wording on this sign suggested that it would be equally appropriate outside a house of ill-repute.

 

[Brotherton Lad]

They must have hired marketing consultants, I could have sworn their products used to be god and jesus.

A foreign acquaintance not of the persuasion who saw the wording on this sign suggested that it would be equally appropriate outside a house of ill-repute.


View attachment 554456

They're words from a Christmas carol. You can see the tree in the house and the star on the tower and house..

 

[Drlligaf]

They're words from a Christmas carol. You can see the tree in the house and the star on the tower and house..

Tidings of comfort and joy.
One does sometimes wonder about loofys aquaintances.
I mean a house of ill (good?) repute is something I would never have thought of.

 

[Civvy Scum]

They must have hired marketing consultants, I could have sworn their products used to be god and jesus.

A foreign acquaintance not of the persuasion who saw the wording on this sign suggested that it would be equally appropriate outside a house of ill-repute.


View attachment 554456

House of ill-repute you say?

 

[Drlligaf]

House of ill-repute you say?
View attachment 554511

That's one way to describe the Popes mob.

 

[loofkar]

Tidings of comfort and joy.
One does sometimes wonder about loofys aquaintances.
I mean a house of ill (good?) repute is something I would never have thought of.

@Brotherton Lad was kind enough to clarify things - it's about Christmas and that people who worship Jesus live in two-storey detached bijou residences.

 

[Drlligaf]

a two-storey detached bijou residence.

What is that? Would it be worth re-converting to Christianity? I'll do anything for money/worldly goods etc, usually.

 

[Brotherton Lad]

@Brotherton Lad was kind enough to clarify things - it's about Christmas and people who worship Jesus get a two-storey detached bijou residence.

Only if they're lucky.

Insh'Allah!

 

[loofkar]

Only if they're lucky.

Insh'Allah!

give us this day our daily shed would be good enough for me

 

[Brotherton Lad]

give us this day our daily shed would be good enough for me

It's certainly a good start.

 

[Drlligaf]

@Brotherton Lad was kind enough to clarify things - it's about Christmas and that people who worship Jesus live in two-storey detached bijou residences.

While under the shower this morning I thought about that carol and if memory serves me rightly, it started thus*:
God rest you merry gentlemen let nothing you dismay, for Jesus Christ our saviour was born upon this day. The refrain was:
O tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy, O tidings of comfort and joy.
Here endeth this mornings lesson.

*Don't tell me that that's sad, I know. I was lead astray in my early years.