Offending the god botherers

ugly

LE
Moderator
Like many on here l enjoy a bit of banter and especially enjoy testing the resolve of the happy clappy forgiveness mob. Whilst perusing the brexit threads I saw a female wearing a t shirt bearing the logo "Quakers for peace" now despite the fact that I thought they were for porridge I had to stifle a giggle when I remembered teasing a pair of old Quaker women on the train.
They had asked what I did and I simply told them that I used the gifts the good lord had given me to smite his enemies and manage his wildlife.
I explained that as I was very good at doing both it wasn't wrong but me using the talents I had been granted as a believer and defender of the faith.
They really didnt have a cogent argument against me or even a decent response. I will remember it next time the jehovah's witnesses come around.
 
I've mentioned it before but when some religious types came pestering me in my own home and was asked 'have you let Jesus into your life' my response along the lines of 'Have you let Odin into yours' was apparently rather offensive to them.
I found this to be odd as they'd come to me, uninvited, to quiz me on religion
 
I usually just answer their initial question with "I don't wish to discuss it".

They then follow up with either a secondary question or try and clarify the original one. "I've just told you I don't wish to discuss it".

"Why don't you wish to discuss it?"

"None of your business, I don't wish to discuss it. Was there anything else?"

Usually followed by crestfallen, head-down offskifuckski on their part.
 
“Hello! I wonder if we might have a few....”
“I’m not interested, sorry”
“Could we have a word with your wife then, she took a copy of our magazine last time”
“Do you know why she did that?”
“She was interested in our work”
“No, she’s too polite to tell you to fuck off. Do you have a “do not call” list?”
“Well, yes, but...”
“Put us on it then. Bye”

Haven't heard from them since.
 
I just let the dogs out, the power of Christ doesn't seem to compel them to stop trying to tear heads off these people. Fortunately for the believers there is a gate with a sign on it warning them that the dogs may be about and to please ring the gate bell and wait.

They usually get bored after five or so minutes and go away. I have to say though that they are pretty dedicated to their mission if they're prepared to drive all the way out here.
 

Blogg

LE
Some cultist types live in a large shared house and from time to time wobble about handing out tracts and burbling about God. And always seem to wear hats, wool, knitted. Odd but harmless.

Last year some turned up and started talking to my legs, rest of me being under wagon wrestling with ye olde grease gun of the type that requires three arms and skills of a contortionist.

"It's not exactly the best time."

"Shall we come back later?"

"No."

So they just stood there until the penny dropped. It took some minutes.
 
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As God-botherers go, the Society of Friends are good eggs, IMO. They do shed loads of charity stuff without telling the world.

I like them as they're like the Sally Bash without the uniforms, bands and sermons.
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
As God-botherers go, the Society of Friends are good eggs, IMO. They do shed loads of charity stuff without telling the world.

I like them as they're like the Sally Bash without the uniforms, bands and sermons.
I know I'm just a cnut, it's not my fault it's a god given talent
 
As God-botherers go, the Society of Friends are good eggs, IMO. They do shed loads of charity stuff without telling the world.

I like them as they're like the Sally Bash without the uniforms, bands and sermons.
And the Quakers don’t mind a pint now and then. Sally Army is nothing stronger than lemon squash.
 

Auld-Yin

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"Thou shalt not kill"
Bad. :mad:














( Veal for tea this evening :rolleyes:)
I thought the Commandment should be "Thou should not murder"
 
Like many on here l enjoy a bit of banter and especially enjoy testing the resolve of the happy clappy forgiveness mob. Whilst perusing the brexit threads I saw a female wearing a t shirt bearing the logo "Quakers for peace" now despite the fact that I thought they were for porridge I had to stifle a giggle when I remembered teasing a pair of old Quaker women on the train.
They had asked what I did and I simply told them that I used the gifts the good lord had given me to smite his enemies and manage his wildlife.
I explained that as I was very good at doing both it wasn't wrong but me using the talents I had been granted as a believer and defender of the faith.
They really didnt have a cogent argument against me or even a decent response. I will remember it next time the jehovah's witnesses come around.
I wonder if the ‘old joes’ would be upset if I wore a T shirt like this when I open the door to them?

1567529764124.jpeg
 

Boris_Johnson

ADC
Moderator
DirtyBAT
I saw a couple of them smartly dressed Mormon types doing the rounds down my old street... In preparation for the inevitable knock at the door, I decided to strip bollock naked to scare them away.

A few moments later, sat watching TV trying not to burn my working parts on my brew, the door knocker goes so I get up and open it.

It was my neighbour, picking up her parcel.
 

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