Ode to my Turd

after an extended period of the Shits I finally am producing solids again.
I was so moved I wrote a Poem about it .... thought you might like to know.

I`ll get my Coat..............

Oh great and mighty Turd of me
Your beauty here for all to see
I pushed you out it took some time
for your longness to untwine

into the Pan I layeth you
sitting on the Pot askew
with muscles straining all around
deposit I this steaming mound

The Smell was foul that rose around
and seeped into the underground
and proclaimed to all those near
This was indeed a Turd to fear

In Valleys coloured purplish green
the eye did catch a little sheen
of brown and black and green and blue
and yellow from the sweetcorn too

The Pot did crack under the strain
of this great effort and great pain
the starfish stretched to breaking point
whilst beads of sweat my head anoint

Oh Turd of mine I sing thy praise
for thou hast set my Arse ablaze
I set thee free and pull the chain
never to see you again
Poet Laureate material, unless I'm very much mistaken.
Yes our current Poet Laureate leaves such a nasty taste in the mouth
1/8 Vogon on his mother's side.

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