Ode Tae A Fart

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by Padrat, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. Writen in the style of Robert Burns:

    Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
    Lurks in your belly efter the feastie
    Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
    There sterts to stir an enormous wind
    The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
    Stert workin like a gentle breeze
    But soon the puddin wi the sauncie face
    Will have ye blawin all ower the place

    Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
    A'body's gonnae hiv tae pay
    Even if ye try tae stifle
    It's like a bullet oot a rifle
    Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair
    Tae try and stop the leakin air
    Shifty yersel fae cheek tae cheek
    Prae tae God it doesnae reek

    But aw yer efforts go assunder
    Oot it comes like a clap o thunder
    Ricochets aroon the room
    Michty me a sonic boom
    God almighty it fairly reeks
    Hope I huvnae shit my breeks
    Tae the bog I better scurry
    Aw whit the hell it's no ma worry

    A'body roon aboot me chokin
    Wan or two are nearly bokin
    I'll feel better for a while
    Cannae help but raise a smile
    Wiz him! I shout with accusin glower
    Alas too late, he's just keeled ower
    Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare
    A dinnae feel welcome any mair

    Where e'ere ye go let yer wind gan' free
    Sounds like just the job fur me
    Whit a fuss at rabbie's party
    Ower the sake o one wee farty