Oddest thing in a Mess box room

Discussion in 'Officers' started by devexwarrior, Aug 29, 2008.

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  1. Having taken up residence in a new Mess last weekend, and the resident unit being on block leave I took the opportunity to have a good look round. In one of the box rooms there were the following odd items;

    a stuffed fox in a glass case
    a 1950's trophy of a propeller blade mounted in a wooden base

    so, it's over to you fellow arrsers-what is the oddest thing encountered in a Mess box room?
  2. A wardrobe that transported me to a different world - a world where Bank Holidays exist, where employees abide by their contractual obligations for fear of losing their jobs, where if I don't take my annual leave entitlement I am given a financial replacement...

    Then I realised it wasn't a wardrobe, just my old Rover and I had driven home for a weekend - Civvi land rocks (sometimes).

    Stuffed animals abound in box rooms, old ski equipment (you know, wooden skis from the 20s), but none so wierd as past livers-in's fancy dress bags (at least I hope it was fancy dress and not a cross dresser).
  3. A dress makers mannequin, a broken paving slab and 2 stuffed red squirrels on a small branch. I don't know why any of them were there...
  4. A blow up rubber doll appropriately dressed for a Ladies Dining In Night. This ensured that all single living in members had a lady on their arm to take through to dinner.............
  5. These things (among many others) were in the box room in the Cpl's mess I lived in before I became a pad;

    A box full of hundreds of videos I'd never heard of.

    A 1960's style tennis racquet, complete with wooden frame.

    An old telly with plastic woodgrain-effect veneer trim.

    A very large dead potted palm tree.

    Loads of broken framed pictures.

    A basket full of grey earthenware beer Steins from various functions (mostly Oktoberfests).

    A volleyball net still attached to the poles.

    Several knackered scratched to death vinyl records without sleeves (mostly 1980's film soundtracks and Elvis)

    Assorted gardening equipment, spades, rake, etc.

    4 (count em) ironing boards, all broken.

    2 cheap and nasty irons, both without plugs.

    A couple of cardboard boxes. It is a box room, after all...
  6. The local dental nurse (mess member) noshing off my mate..............which was nice!
  7. a holdall so full of accumulated grot mags that it was a two man lift, no lie!! Come to think of it, in an Officers mess in Catterick thats not too strange a thing........
  8. Box room many years ago in Germany - A used condom 8O
  9. A large wooden MFO crate that was never moved and which was padded out with an old duvet, pillows and blankets. For the weary troop leader it served as a secure kipping platz back in the mess for when you wanted to sleep off your hangover in peace. The Adjt never found you

  10. The Ark of the Covenant?? That went missing in 1945 after the liberation of Bremerhaven? Oh well done sir!
  11. Far away and long ago in a distant galaxy there was building that had stood firm against the elements for nigh on two centuries.

    As was often the case, such a building had been constructed with large cellars. And cellars, especially those in buildings with transient occupiers, are prone to slowly accumulate the discarded, forgotten and unwanted trappings. So they fill up until somebody can stand it no longer or needs storage space and some wretch is ordered to get a working party together and clear that bloody shambles out.

    Ohh all sorts of good stuff in there, some making a tidy sum for those who chose to, er, recycle rather than chuck it in the skip.

    And so late one afternoon a dusty wooden box that was uncovered. Inside that box was another much more handsome brass bound chest. Eventually one of our number managed to get the lock open without damage and inside were some weighty leather bound tomes and a greater number of smaller books.

    Anyone recall their Great Grandfather or Grandfather lamenting the loss of a collection of ripe Victorian and Edwardian porn? Bit stilted but something of an eye opener!
  12. A .303 with 5 live rounds wrapped in hessian!
  13. The IDB mess cupboard was a goldmine of green stuff, but Redford barracks pre our move to BAOR had I think a Wombat round, certainly one was declared in the amnesty it had been a door stop in the Captains wing.
  14. A skeleton sporting a ball gag and wrapped in a Neil Robertson stretcher.

    Poor sod had been left there and forgotten about after a particularly raucous mess dinner in 1967. Still, if he couldn't take a joke, he shouldn't have joined.
  15. In the 21 Signal Regiment Officers' Mess in Colerne I found the entire personal effects of a man called "Drage', including family photos, sports kit and plenty of clothing. That was in Sep 01 and it was all still there when I left 2 years later.

    Also, the 14 Signal Regiment box o' porn was a veritable tour of Europe, with magazines from all over the continent. Some pretty upsetting.