Nursery Rhymes

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by LazyCaretaker, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. Mary Had a Little Lamb


    Mary had a little lamb,
    Her father shot it dead.
    Now it goes to school with her,
    between two hunks of bread.

    Little Miss Muffet


    Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
    Her clothes all tattered and torn.
    It wasn't the spider
    That crept up beside her,
    But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

    Simple Simon


    Simple Simon met a Pieman,
    Going to the fair.
    Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
    What have you got there?
    Said the Pieman unto Simon,
    Pies, you dickhead.

    Humpty Dumpty


    Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
    Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
    All the kings horses
    And all the kings men,
    Said "F*ck him,
    He's only an egg."

    Mary Had a Another Lamb


    Mary had a little lamb
    It ran into a pylon.
    10,000 volts went up it's ass,
    And turned it's wool to nylon.

    Georgy Porgy


    Georgie Porgy, pudding and pie.
    Kissed the girls and made them cry.
    When the boys came out to play,
    He kissed them too, cause he was gay.

    Jack and Jill


    Jack and Jill
    Went up the hill,
    To have little fun.
    Jill, that dill
    Forgot her pill,
    And now they have a son.

    Old Mother Hubbard


    Old Mother Hubbard
    Went to the cupboard
    to fetch her poor dog a bone.
    When she bent over
    Rover took over,
    And gave her a bone of his own.

    Little Boy Blue


    Little Boy Blew.
    Hey. He needed the Money