Nursery Rhymes we didn't have as kids.........

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by Private_Pyle, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. Mary had a little pig,

    She kept it fat and plastered;

    And when the price of pork went up,

    She shot the little bastard.



    ********************



    MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB

    Her father shot it dead.

    Now it goes to school with her,

    Between two hunks of bread.

    ********************



    JACK AND JILL Went up the hill

    To have a little fun.

    Stupid Jill forgot the pill

    And now they have a son.

    ********************



    SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.

    Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,

    "What have you got there?"

    Said the Pie man unto Simon, "Pies, you Dumb Ass"

    ********************



    HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,

    Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

    All the kings' horses, And all the kings' men.

    Had scrambled eggs, For breakfast again.

    ********************



    HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,

    All over the bedside clock.

    The little dog laughed to see such fun.

    Then died of electric shock.

    ********************



    GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,

    Kissed the girls and made them cry.

    And when the boys came out to play,

    He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

    ********************



    There was a little girl who had a little curl

    Right in the middle of her forehead.

    When she was good, she was very, very good.

    But when she was bad.........

    She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.
     
  2. little boy blue .........
    he needed the money