Nuns.

Discussion in 'Sick Jokes' started by The Perisher, Mar 10, 2013.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Two Nuns in the bath.

    1st Nun " Where`s the soap"??

    2nd Nun " Yes it does"!!
     
  2. I'm sure the first time I heard that one, they cut my umbilical cord then smacked my arrse.
     
  3. 19 posts in a year and a half, and you decide to post that shit in the wee small hours? Beggars belief!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Pretty sure that is only the third time this year, and forty-sixth so far, for that particular joke on ARRSE.

    Don't be too hard on him, he may have been busy.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  5. I don't get it.
     
  6. Nor do the nuns, hence the use of the soap.
     
  7. Just for variety, one can substitute 'soap' for 'candle', but nevertheless it's still lamer than a two legged corgi.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. How about the three Nuns that head off to Confession.
    After they have taken turns in the Confessional, they start walking slowly up the aisle toward the Holy Water font.
    Sister Maria turns to the other two and asks what penance Father O'Reilly had given them.
    Sister Margaret replied, "Seeing as I had touched a man's penis, I must wash my hands with Holy Water and recite three Hail Mary's."
    Sister Janice replied, "Seeing as I had taken a man's penis into my vagina, I must wash it with Holy Water and recite ten Hail Mary's."
    "Ok then" replies Sister Maria, "I'm first. I have to gargle."
     
  9. Neither do I, but it's clearly shit.
     
  10. Continuing the trend for relatively harmless yet inevitably dull posts, I offer you;

    The Seven Dwarfs were in a Catholic church. They were sitting near the rear
    and as the priest was speaking, they whispered and giggled amongst
    themselves, causing quite a disturbance. All of a sudden, Dopey stands up
    and says, "Father, are there any midget nuns in the church ?" "No," said
    the priest, "There are no midget nuns in the church." A little time passed
    and the dwarfs were again whispering and giggling amongst themselves
    causing quite a disturbance and noticeably angering the priest.

    Soon, Dopey stands up again and asks, "Father, are there any midget nuns in
    the city?"

    "No, my son, there are no midget nuns in the city or in the church." says
    the priest. Again the dwarfs resume their annoying giggling to the dismay
    of the priest.

    Once again, Dopey stands up and asks "Father, are there any midget nuns in
    the county?"

    "No, my son, there are no midget nuns in the county, in the city, and no
    midget nuns in the church." exclaimed the priest, obviously upset.

    The dwarfs continue their interference.

    Dopey stands up and asks, "Father, are there any midget nuns in the country?"

    The priest, totally angered, exclaims "No, my son, there are no midget nuns
    in the church, in the city, in the county, no midget nuns in the country,
    there are no midget nuns in the whole world!!! Now sit down!!!!!"

    Soon afterwards, a chant can be heard from the rear of the church,

    "Dopey fucked a penguin. Dopey fucked a penguin. Dopey fucked a penguin."
     
  11. Yes cloudbuster, harmless and dull, but ANYTHING is an improvement on where's/wears the soap.
     
  12. Happy to help steer the good ship Arrse into calmer waters.
     
    • Like Like x 1