Number 2 Transit Times

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Gaz_ED, Jan 18, 2008.

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  1. How quickly can food go through you?

    Having partaken of a King Prawn Vindaloo, and several pints of Guinness at 2000 hrs yesterday, I was astonished to feel the urge to defeacate only 1 hour and 50 minutes later. After a largely stodgy and spice-free diet in the week, it was definitely the Vindaloo that reared its' ugly head at 2150 last night.

    Strangely enough, after 20 minutes of having my anal sleeve untucked, and imagining Bubba had paid a call, I felt fine, apart from a bit of ring-sting, which was sorted out with some hula-cooler cream(!).

    As I surveyed barely digested prawns in a black consomme, garnished with pilau rice, and my own colonic mucus, I wondered if this was some sort of record?

  2. I'm on a largely German diet so my guts have been bored into innaction. I haven't shat myself in years.

    My dog once ate two packets of butter complete with silver foil, his flash to bang time was 23 minutes and 17 seconds! Beat that, pet owners!
  3. I was told by pals who should know that my transit times just aren't possible unless you've got malabsorption syndrome, in which case you'd be as well flushing your dinner down the bog. An hour fifty is pretty quick. I had something similar when I tried to bankrupt the China Buffet King by eating my own weight in prawns (for £8-95)............... Well, the way they put it, it seemed like a challenge. :)
  4. I've just googled malabsorption syndrome.....Christ!

    It was hopefully a one-off, as my previous times have been 4 hours minimum. It was a greasy vindaloo, full of ghee!

    I'm off to Clatterbridge to get a pull-through with a burning duffel coat! :x
  5. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    A couple of years ago, whilst enjoying a chicken jalfrazi, Mrs B&T informed me she was pregnant. I shat myself on the spot. Does that count?
  6. I always thought it was the new pushing out the old sort of thing.
  7. the definative answer, after your next mass colonic exodus. Eat a whole tin of niblets "Green Giants" for breakfast, count every kernel, in theory ,the next turd SHOULD be, little grains of sweetcorn! you can then do a Brian Hanraham on the deck of HMS Hermes in the falklands, "I counted them out, and I counted them all back", but this time its sweetcorn, not harriers!!! Brilliant.
  8. I think the ghee-propelled vindaloo must have zoomed past the solid poo, somewhere in the small intestine. :?

    Cernunnos - how's the dog. Is he still alive? And did the foil come through?
  9. From personal expeirince foil passes through a dog relatively unmolested. Our labrador ate the chocolates from the christmas tree a few years ago, gold foil and all. The result was a couple of days of festively glittery dog eggs whenever we went for a walk.
  10. Gleaming!
  11. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    Ah dog poo, a subject I certainly seem to have lots of homework in even if unwanted!