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Not that funny but true

#1
Years ago when working as an export officer I had an entry presented for a RIB due to go the middle east. I checked the tarrif headings and found that the boat might be licenceable due to the kind of motor they were sending with it on the basis that forward and reverse were exacty the same ratios and very fast. Well we got the container turned out and ther it was this lovely bright yellow inflatable boat and the details all matched. SO Ir and up the Agent and asked for an End use certificate which he provided saying it was going for fishing. The following conversation be tween me and the DTi

Me; Yes Hi , I would like some information on a RIB we have just examined and I consider it licenceable.
DTI; Why is that?
Me repeated, the above with emphasis to the motor and Gearbox which didn't appear to be suitable for fishing.
Silence ensued.
Me ; Are you still there?
DTI; Yes.
Me; Getting impatient, Well?
DTI. What colour is it?
Me; Yellow
DTI; well that's all right it can go.
Me ; are you sure
DTI; Yes that's fine it'll be highly visible so it shouldn't be a problem.
Me: What about if they paint it?
DTI: Have you any evidence that they will?
Me; not specifically.
DTI; well in that case you can release it.

Just thought it might raise a chuckle.
 
#7
I'm sitting on a plane next to a large woman with a baby that appears to be about a year and a half old. She has the baby sitting on her lap. She weighs about 180 pounds. And instead of bringing a baby seat, she's trying to buckle the kid into the seat with her. Apparently, no one ever explained to her the purpose of the belt. Yes, it will keep both people in the seat, but what happens if the seat belt does what it's supposed to? What if she's thrown forward, and the seat belt arrests her forward motion? What happens to the baby that is nestled between her belly and the belt when her prodigious adult bulk slams into the infant's back? Does she not realize that the baby is going to be squeezed in the middle like a tube of toothpaste? Now, babies are resilient and surprisingly damage-resistant, as my family fortunately knows. My sister was run over by a car when she was 2, but survived with little damage, none of it permanent. But my mom didn't place her under the wheel of the car, which is essentially what this woman is doing. Why does no one qualified tell her this is a bad idea? It's not my place or my business, but it pisses me off nonetheless. I am in no mood for bisected baby.
Sounds like that a bisected baby is just what is needed to prevent those particular stupid genes going any further.
 
#8
I'm sitting on a plane next to a large woman with a baby that appears to be about a year and a half old. She has the baby sitting on her lap. She weighs about 180 pounds. And instead of bringing a baby seat, she's trying to buckle the kid into the seat with her. Apparently, no one ever explained to her the purpose of the belt. Yes, it will keep both people in the seat, but what happens if the seat belt does what it's supposed to? What if she's thrown forward, and the seat belt arrests her forward motion? What happens to the baby that is nestled between her belly and the belt when her prodigious adult bulk slams into the infant's back? Does she not realize that the baby is going to be squeezed in the middle like a tube of toothpaste? Now, babies are resilient and surprisingly damage-resistant, as my family fortunately knows. My sister was run over by a car when she was 2, but survived with little damage, none of it permanent. But my mom didn't place her under the wheel of the car, which is essentially what this woman is doing. Why does no one qualified tell her this is a bad idea? It's not my place or my business, but it pisses me off nonetheless. I am in no mood for bisected baby.
Could you not devise a tactful way to phrase advice to her that on some other airlines they suggest there are better methods to protect babies?
 
#9
Years ago when working as an export officer I had an entry presented for a RIB due to go the middle east. I checked the tarrif headings and found that the boat might be licenceable due to the kind of motor they were sending with it on the basis that forward and reverse were exacty the same ratios and very fast. Well we got the container turned out and ther it was this lovely bright yellow inflatable boat and the details all matched. SO Ir and up the Agent and asked for an End use certificate which he provided saying it was going for fishing. The following conversation be tween me and the DTi

Me; Yes Hi , I would like some information on a RIB we have just examined and I consider it licenceable.
DTI; Why is that?
Me repeated, the above with emphasis to the motor and Gearbox which didn't appear to be suitable for fishing.
Silence ensued.
Me ; Are you still there?
DTI; Yes.
Me; Getting impatient, Well?
DTI. What colour is it?
Me; Yellow
DTI; well that's all right it can go.
Me ; are you sure
DTI; Yes that's fine it'll be highly visible so it shouldn't be a problem.
Me: What about if they paint it?
DTI: Have you any evidence that they will?
Me; not specifically.
DTI; well in that case you can release it.

Just thought it might raise a chuckle.
He was probably the same man that allowed those giant rifled barrel parts for the long range artillery piece that Iraq ordered round about 1980 was it?
 

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