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Not Speaking To Me

That wooden bead drivers seat cover in your minicab-any good?
Whut?

Is someone watching you type using your head-dobber and recording you on their phone whilst saying "Go on, keep going, this will look great on Youtube! Keep goi... fuck's sake he's deleting now!"
 
Too many posts for me to read, so I didn't bother.

Seriously, you need to organise yourselves better that that. Get someone to co-ordinate the questions, get of the crap and get a grip on things. An executive summary would be a start,

No wonder you lot couldn't make it in the real world and needed to be told what to do.

ETA: Sorry I haven't been on for a while. Been working and first decent opportunity to play with Amplitube 5 Max which I bought t'other day, and frankly if it's a toss up between you lot and some serious guitar playing, you lot lose really badly.
Yngwie Malmsteen walt.
Joe Satriani walt.
Kirk Hamett walt.

 
Whut?

Is someone watching you type using your head-dobber and recording you on their phone whilst saying "Go on, keep going, this will look great on Youtube! Keep goi... ****'s sake he's deleting now!"
Au contraire, hugs from the turret mwah
 
Au contraire, hugs from the turret mwah
Oh? Has he had a fall? Is that why you are responding for him. Bless. Well it was only a matter of time. He's had a good innings though.

If you go onto Mumsnet, I'm sure they will give lots of advice on canapes (always check for allergies apparently - you don't want to be responsible for the next funeral do you?), what to wear (according to the missus black is so last year - think it through), and tell you where to get the best flowers (surprisingly "from the grave next to the one you are filling" is not always the answer).
 
Oh? Has he had a fall? Is that why you are responding for him. Bless. Well it was only a matter of time. He's had a good innings though.

If you go onto Mumsnet, I'm sure they will give lots of advice on canapes (always check for allergies apparently - you don't want to be responsible for the next funeral do you?), what to wear (according to the missus black is so last year - think it through), and tell you where to get the best flowers (surprisingly "from the grave next to the one you are filling" is not always the answer).
Home schooling.

The Amstrad years.

Bless those carcinogenic glittery crayons.
 
Home schooling.

The Amstrad years.

Bless those carcinogenic glittery crayons.
Hang on. I gave you a funny before I figured out whether you meant me or Turret!

Think carefully, because I can always remove it!
 
Shouldn't you be doing your guitar thing...instead of monitoring replies here??

Make your mind up.

*Please stop digging. Accept you've made yourself look a bit of a knob maybe and..dust yourself off, get back up and..all will be fine.

No maleolence meant in the above.
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
. Accept you've made yourself look a bit of a knob


a bit? he's the full, glistening bulbous head in a magnificent shade of purple, the full veiny shaft and a colossal set of balls
 

endure

GCM
Too many posts for me to read, so I didn't bother.

Seriously, you need to organise yourselves better that that. Get someone to co-ordinate the questions, get of the crap and get a grip on things. An executive summary would be a start,

No wonder you lot couldn't make it in the real world and needed to be told what to do.

ETA: Sorry I haven't been on for a while. Been working and first decent opportunity to play with Amplitube 5 Max which I bought t'other day, and frankly if it's a toss up between you lot and some serious guitar playing, you lot lose really badly.
The last time you were on was at 1810 yesterday...
 
Shouldn't you be doing your guitar thing...instead of monitoring replies here??

Make your mind up.

*Please stop digging. Accept you've made yourself look a bit of a knob maybe and..dust yourself off, get back up and..all will be fine.

No maleolence meant in the above.
By paragraph...

1. I would be playing but I need a break now and again and Amplitube 5 takes takes a bit of brain power because much has changed since 4 came out. The best way of not having to tax my brain too much is responding on here.

2. Buck's Fizz walt.

3. No. no. As I said I stand by everything I have ever written. Except the typos of course. I don't dig holes of course because I have staff for that kind of menial work. We are always looking for someone to help out by the way, which is one reason I post on this site, so if anyone is interested PM me. I like to think that by giving a former member of the armed forces a job, we are giving something back to society (and my accountant tells me we get a decent tax break), and yes they might not be able to read or write very well, or "do sums" at all, they are usually clean (thank God for mums eh?) and can usually dig holes and carry heavy things around, and so they get back a little self-respect after being told what to do for so long.

4. Why not. My posts are full of it! Loser!
 

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
Well I think we already have a winner for this years SPOTY.
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
Well I think we already have a winner for this years SPOTY.


A strong contender, but can he keep this level of bellendry up? Is it natural ability, or does he have to work for it?
 
Many of you seem to think that I am embarrassed about previous posts.

I am not. I stand by everything I have written in the past.

Of course Londoner's were responsible for the initial Covid lockdown being imposed. It has become painfully clear. It happened with the latest lockdown as well. Look at the images of Oxford Street just before Christmas, and where the massive growth in the new variant took place. Londoner's think they are somehow more special than other people in the UK, when the reality is the are just "special". Just because there are a lot of you doesn't make you a benefit to the rest of the country. It just makes you akin to a rash.

(Take it to the Covid forum if you want to discuss further).

Just to be clear, I have never "served" because frankly I have never felt "servile". I am sure that some of you are submissive by nature and need to be dominated by others, or feel the need for others to tell you what to do. I think some of you are relieved that somebody else is taking responsibility for your lives. Not all of us are like that. Many people are capably of successfully running their own lives and don't need the re-assurance of someone else making the decisions for them - and yes I count myself in that number. Nor would I particularly enjoy living in the kind of poverty and squalor that many of you describe during your military careers. Anyone can be poor and dirty, but I see no need to volunteer for it. I am quite happy to have been in a comfortable, successful career earning a good deal of money in the IT departments of banking and financial organisations.

You know that old bit of doggerel about men who have never been soldier thinking less of themselves? Well it might not be welcome news to many of you, but it really isn't true. Few of us measure ourselves against others, and neither do we give a damn about your jobs, and anyone who big themselves up because they wear a special uniform when doing it, really needs to get a grip on their lives. It is unhealthy. As an example, Amazon and Eddie Stobart could probably do a more efficient and cost-effective job at running the militaries supply chain needs than they do themselves, so now I am sure some of you are purple with rage at judging themselves against a minimum-wage Amazon shelving-monkey or a lorry-driver who spends a significant portion of his wages on prostitutes.

Oh by the way, I am not stating every member of the military are poorly-educated half-wits with no social skills. Clearly there many who are fine, upstanding members of society, with good qualifications and able to speak in complete sentences. It's just there aren't that many of them in evidence on this site.

Some of you will be wondering why I post on here. Good.

Do you think I care if some of you have never had children, or have never gone through rough patches when bring them up, especially when they into their teenage years. Do I regret anything I have posted or feel humiliated when people bring it up? Nope. I suspect many of you have never had families due to a lack of motile sperm or low sperm counts and feel frustrated. In a way, I suppose it is a blessing that many of you have not reproduced because the shallow end of the gene pool has burst its banks anyway.

But we digress.

Like I say, I am not particularly bothered about what a poorly-educated, socially-inept inadequates who couldn't find work in the civilian job market think (which describes many of you, not all, but a significant number).

If this site was built as a portal so that you had to prove you were in the military before being allowed to access it for viewing and posting, the site traffic would be so low that the admins would probably have to shut it down as the advertising revenue wouldn't cover the costs of running it. That must really upset some of you. That the majority of people who keep this site viable were never in the military.

I also suspect that the majority of articulate, well-reasoned former members of the armed-forces would probably not appreciate having to spend much of their time on here with some of the thread's posters. I would suggest that having civilians on the site makes it a more tolerant place for them. Of course I don't expect agreement from the former, out of a sense of loyalty towards the latter, but it is probably more likely than not.

I'm going to continue posting on here, and I honestly don't care what your search skills pull back up. At worst, all it will lead to is being added to my ignore list not because you offend me or I feel embarrassed in any way, but simply because it smacks of a lack of imagination on your part. I don't care if you object to that. Your opinion of me is not something I lose any sleep about, and if some of you DO worry about what some strangers on the Internet think about you, again you need to grip on your life because normal people don't do that. If you really do worry about what others think about you, was that insecurity driven into you in the military, or are you just more drawn to the military lifestyle if you have that flaw in your character?

Just diverting the thread for a moment, can I point out that posting the same old things over and over again does lead me to think some of you really are starting to express symptoms of dementia. It's the same people who do it, just as they are the same people who post Monty Python quotes over and over. You really need to visit your GPs because you have forgotten you have already stated something, and doing so continuously, is something that needs looking into.

It's not something you should be embarrassed over, after all none of us is getting any younger.

I have no doubt that some will take this post as evidence of complaining (or whatever colourful words you wish to use instead), or of being drawn into your cunning trap by your ingenious logic and devious word-play. That would, of course, be a stunning lack of comprehension on your part driven by an extraordinary lack of self-awareness, not an accurate description of my message.

I have thoroughly enjoyed writing this, and I hope it gets some of the usual suspects frothing at the mouth - "Servile! Servile!" - and so on. A massive meltdown from a number of you will be entertaining.

Usul, we have weepy-snot-bubble-sign the likes of which even God has never seen.
 

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
A strong contender, but can he keep this level of bellendry up? Is it natural ability, or does he have to work for it?
Reading what he has put so far gives me the impression that bellendry comes quite naturally.
 
He has the mannerisms and general mien of one who provides Microsoft support for Barclays or something.
His workplace communication is limited to "Have you tried restarting it?" and "I'll have to refer this to the level 2 engineers".
 

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