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Not Speaking To Me

Cancel my last, I've just read all the other shite between your post and the most recent. You can get raped instead
 
A fullscrew at Keogh barracks didn't realise that the reason he kept getting very strong coffee in the guardroom wasn't cos we liked strong coffee or that we were trying to prevent him from sleeping.
It was to hide the fact it was made with boiled piss.

This is why there was a second kettle in the guardroom while I was on a course there.
Err, as someone who for reasons I'm still confused about ended up as Guard 2/IC on arrival for my RMA2 course when was this?
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
Err, as someone who for reasons I'm still confused about ended up as Guard 2/IC on arrival for my RMA2 course when was this?

The brew drinker was posted to keogh, was a skinny RAMC PTI. You know the type, walks around like he's carrying a roll of invisible carpet under each arm and was married to the least attractive QA it's ever been my misfortune to meet.

He got posted into the same unit as me where I ended up coaching him through the pre EFP test. My role was helping him with maths and writing so people could read it.
 
Many of you seem to think that I am embarrassed about previous posts.

I am not. I stand by everything I have written in the past.

Of course Londoner's were responsible for the initial Covid lockdown being imposed. It has become painfully clear. It happened with the latest lockdown as well. Look at the images of Oxford Street just before Christmas, and where the massive growth in the new variant took place. Londoner's think they are somehow more special than other people in the UK, when the reality is the are just "special". Just because there are a lot of you doesn't make you a benefit to the rest of the country. It just makes you akin to a rash.

(Take it to the Covid forum if you want to discuss further).

Just to be clear, I have never "served" because frankly I have never felt "servile". I am sure that some of you are submissive by nature and need to be dominated by others, or feel the need for others to tell you what to do. I think some of you are relieved that somebody else is taking responsibility for your lives. Not all of us are like that. Many people are capably of successfully running their own lives and don't need the re-assurance of someone else making the decisions for them - and yes I count myself in that number. Nor would I particularly enjoy living in the kind of poverty and squalor that many of you describe during your military careers. Anyone can be poor and dirty, but I see no need to volunteer for it. I am quite happy to have been in a comfortable, successful career earning a good deal of money in the IT departments of banking and financial organisations.

You know that old bit of doggerel about men who have never been soldier thinking less of themselves? Well it might not be welcome news to many of you, but it really isn't true. Few of us measure ourselves against others, and neither do we give a damn about your jobs, and anyone who big themselves up because they wear a special uniform when doing it, really needs to get a grip on their lives. It is unhealthy. As an example, Amazon and Eddie Stobart could probably do a more efficient and cost-effective job at running the militaries supply chain needs than they do themselves, so now I am sure some of you are purple with rage at judging themselves against a minimum-wage Amazon shelving-monkey or a lorry-driver who spends a significant portion of his wages on prostitutes.

Oh by the way, I am not stating every member of the military are poorly-educated half-wits with no social skills. Clearly there many who are fine, upstanding members of society, with good qualifications and able to speak in complete sentences. It's just there aren't that many of them in evidence on this site.

Some of you will be wondering why I post on here. Good.

Do you think I care if some of you have never had children, or have never gone through rough patches when bring them up, especially when they into their teenage years. Do I regret anything I have posted or feel humiliated when people bring it up? Nope. I suspect many of you have never had families due to a lack of motile sperm or low sperm counts and feel frustrated. In a way, I suppose it is a blessing that many of you have not reproduced because the shallow end of the gene pool has burst its banks anyway.

But we digress.

Like I say, I am not particularly bothered about what a poorly-educated, socially-inept inadequates who couldn't find work in the civilian job market think (which describes many of you, not all, but a significant number).

If this site was built as a portal so that you had to prove you were in the military before being allowed to access it for viewing and posting, the site traffic would be so low that the admins would probably have to shut it down as the advertising revenue wouldn't cover the costs of running it. That must really upset some of you. That the majority of people who keep this site viable were never in the military.

I also suspect that the majority of articulate, well-reasoned former members of the armed-forces would probably not appreciate having to spend much of their time on here with some of the thread's posters. I would suggest that having civilians on the site makes it a more tolerant place for them. Of course I don't expect agreement from the former, out of a sense of loyalty towards the latter, but it is probably more likely than not.

I'm going to continue posting on here, and I honestly don't care what your search skills pull back up. At worst, all it will lead to is being added to my ignore list not because you offend me or I feel embarrassed in any way, but simply because it smacks of a lack of imagination on your part. I don't care if you object to that. Your opinion of me is not something I lose any sleep about, and if some of you DO worry about what some strangers on the Internet think about you, again you need to grip on your life because normal people don't do that. If you really do worry about what others think about you, was that insecurity driven into you in the military, or are you just more drawn to the military lifestyle if you have that flaw in your character?

Just diverting the thread for a moment, can I point out that posting the same old things over and over again does lead me to think some of you really are starting to express symptoms of dementia. It's the same people who do it, just as they are the same people who post Monty Python quotes over and over. You really need to visit your GPs because you have forgotten you have already stated something, and doing so continuously, is something that needs looking into.

It's not something you should be embarrassed over, after all none of us is getting any younger.

I have no doubt that some will take this post as evidence of complaining (or whatever colourful words you wish to use instead), or of being drawn into your cunning trap by your ingenious logic and devious word-play. That would, of course, be a stunning lack of comprehension on your part driven by an extraordinary lack of self-awareness, not an accurate description of my message.

I have thoroughly enjoyed writing this, and I hope it gets some of the usual suspects frothing at the mouth - "Servile! Servile!" - and so on. A massive meltdown from a number of you will be entertaining.
 

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
Many of you seem to think that I am embarrassed about previous posts.

I am not. I stand by everything I have written in the past.

Of course Londoner's were responsible for the initial Covid lockdown being imposed. It has become painfully clear. It happened with the latest lockdown as well. Look at the images of Oxford Street just before Christmas, and where the massive growth in the new variant took place. Londoner's think they are somehow more special than other people in the UK, when the reality is the are just "special". Just because there are a lot of you doesn't make you a benefit to the rest of the country. It just makes you akin to a rash.

(Take it to the Covid forum if you want to discuss further).

Just to be clear, I have never "served" because frankly I have never felt "servile". I am sure that some of you are submissive by nature and need to be dominated by others, or feel the need for others to tell you what to do. I think some of you are relieved that somebody else is taking responsibility for your lives. Not all of us are like that. Many people are capably of successfully running their own lives and don't need the re-assurance of someone else making the decisions for them - and yes I count myself in that number. Nor would I particularly enjoy living in the kind of poverty and squalor that many of you describe during your military careers. Anyone can be poor and dirty, but I see no need to volunteer for it. I am quite happy to have been in a comfortable, successful career earning a good deal of money in the IT departments of banking and financial organisations.

You know that old bit of doggerel about men who have never been soldier thinking less of themselves? Well it might not be welcome news to many of you, but it really isn't true. Few of us measure ourselves against others, and neither do we give a damn about your jobs, and anyone who big themselves up because they wear a special uniform when doing it, really needs to get a grip on their lives. It is unhealthy. As an example, Amazon and Eddie Stobart could probably do a more efficient and cost-effective job at running the militaries supply chain needs than they do themselves, so now I am sure some of you are purple with rage at judging themselves against a minimum-wage Amazon shelving-monkey or a lorry-driver who spends a significant portion of his wages on prostitutes.

Oh by the way, I am not stating every member of the military are poorly-educated half-wits with no social skills. Clearly there many who are fine, upstanding members of society, with good qualifications and able to speak in complete sentences. It's just there aren't that many of them in evidence on this site.

Some of you will be wondering why I post on here. Good.

Do you think I care if some of you have never had children, or have never gone through rough patches when bring them up, especially when they into their teenage years. Do I regret anything I have posted or feel humiliated when people bring it up? Nope. I suspect many of you have never had families due to a lack of motile sperm or low sperm counts and feel frustrated. In a way, I suppose it is a blessing that many of you have not reproduced because the shallow end of the gene pool has burst its banks anyway.

But we digress.

Like I say, I am not particularly bothered about what a poorly-educated, socially-inept inadequates who couldn't find work in the civilian job market think (which describes many of you, not all, but a significant number).

If this site was built as a portal so that you had to prove you were in the military before being allowed to access it for viewing and posting, the site traffic would be so low that the admins would probably have to shut it down as the advertising revenue wouldn't cover the costs of running it. That must really upset some of you. That the majority of people who keep this site viable were never in the military.

I also suspect that the majority of articulate, well-reasoned former members of the armed-forces would probably not appreciate having to spend much of their time on here with some of the thread's posters. I would suggest that having civilians on the site makes it a more tolerant place for them. Of course I don't expect agreement from the former, out of a sense of loyalty towards the latter, but it is probably more likely than not.

I'm going to continue posting on here, and I honestly don't care what your search skills pull back up. At worst, all it will lead to is being added to my ignore list not because you offend me or I feel embarrassed in any way, but simply because it smacks of a lack of imagination on your part. I don't care if you object to that. Your opinion of me is not something I lose any sleep about, and if some of you DO worry about what some strangers on the Internet think about you, again you need to grip on your life because normal people don't do that. If you really do worry about what others think about you, was that insecurity driven into you in the military, or are you just more drawn to the military lifestyle if you have that flaw in your character?

Just diverting the thread for a moment, can I point out that posting the same old things over and over again does lead me to think some of you really are starting to express symptoms of dementia. It's the same people who do it, just as they are the same people who post Monty Python quotes over and over. You really need to visit your GPs because you have forgotten you have already stated something, and doing so continuously, is something that needs looking into.

It's not something you should be embarrassed over, after all none of us is getting any younger.

I have no doubt that some will take this post as evidence of complaining (or whatever colourful words you wish to use instead), or of being drawn into your cunning trap by your ingenious logic and devious word-play. That would, of course, be a stunning lack of comprehension on your part driven by an extraordinary lack of self-awareness, not an accurate description of my message.

I have thoroughly enjoyed writing this, and I hope it gets some of the usual suspects frothing at the mouth - "Servile! Servile!" - and so on. A massive meltdown from a number of you will be entertaining.
Are you about to flounce?
It must be awful spending so much time amongst us posters on here who have served for Queen and Country and then gone on to have good careers outside of the military.
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
Are you about to flounce?
It must be awful spending so much time amongst us posters on here who have served for Queen and Country and then gone on to have good careers outside of the military.

I'm going to leave my job in IT consultancy/teaching and take up lorry driving after he did such a good job advertising it
 

sidsnot

Old-Salt
. I am sure that some of you are submissive by nature and need to be dominated by others, or feel the need for others to tell you what to do.
I like to be dominated. Are you offering your services? Want to be mummy or daddy? I’m up for either. I will bring the swarfega if you’re shy.
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
I like to be dominated. Are you offering your services? Want to be mummy or daddy? I’m up for either. I will bring the swarfega if you’re shy.

does this end in the line 'time to suck mummys cock'
 
I miss the biscatross thread.
Me too. I even considered reviving it, but do we really want 500 pages of racist comments every time we talk about migration paths or being deported to Rockall just because we flew into the UK without the correct paper work?

Not to mention the 300 comments questioning if we are a race or a species...

Perhaps the best thing to do is ask my friend 'Stormzy Petrel' if he will start tweeting about our plight. I mean this is ARRSE what can possibly go wrong?

To keep it on topic and avoid the wrath of the mods can I just say:

deanol is not the Messiah he's a very naughty racist!
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
Me too. I even considered reviving it, but do we really want 500 pages of racist comments every time we talk about migration paths or being deported to Rockall just because we flew into the UK without the correct paper work?

Not to mention the 300 comments questioning if we are a race or a species...

Perhaps the best thing to do is ask my friend 'Stormzy Petrel' if he will start tweeting about our plight. I mean this is ARRSE what can possibly go wrong?

To keep it on topic and avoid the wrath of the mods can I just say:

deanol is not the Messiah he's a very naughty racist!


The Biscatross thread was lost during one of the great upgrades (or migrations if you prefer) a few years back.
I think it started out by (PTP? MDN?) saying that strapping a vacuum cleaner hose to his face wouldn't make him an anteater and it went downhill from there
 
The Biscatross thread was lost during one of the great upgrades (or migrations if you prefer) a few years back.
I think it started out by (PTP? MDN?) saying that strapping a vacuum cleaner hose to his face wouldn't make him an anteater and it went downhill from there
Was that the one where the question was posed, would you prefer a 12 inch nose or a 12 inch cock.
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
Was that the one where the question was posed, would you prefer a 12 inch nose or a 12 inch cock.


I've got both...

not everyone likes them that wide.
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
I too have a 12 inch penis.

But I don't use it as a rule.

My capote and cab? Obliged.



in other news I've just placed an order for Chinese food from a local place called 'China Wang'
Mainly because the name amuses me, but the food is pretty good too.
 
...We also know how to close ranks and defend ourselves. It was/is our #1 fvcking job, FFS. Even Monkeys and Snowdrops

Although coping with the shame afterwards can be trying. There's only so much alcohol on the planet.
 
Too many posts for me to read, so I didn't bother.

Seriously, you need to organise yourselves better that that. Get someone to co-ordinate the questions, get of the crap and get a grip on things. An executive summary would be a start,

No wonder you lot couldn't make it in the real world and needed to be told what to do.

ETA: Sorry I haven't been on for a while. Been working and first decent opportunity to play with Amplitube 5 Max which I bought t'other day, and frankly if it's a toss up between you lot and some serious guitar playing, you lot lose really badly.
 
Last edited:
Many of you seem to think that I am embarrassed about previous posts.

I am not. I stand by everything I have written in the past.

Of course Londoner's were responsible for the initial Covid lockdown being imposed. It has become painfully clear. It happened with the latest lockdown as well. Look at the images of Oxford Street just before Christmas, and where the massive growth in the new variant took place. Londoner's think they are somehow more special than other people in the UK, when the reality is the are just "special". Just because there are a lot of you doesn't make you a benefit to the rest of the country. It just makes you akin to a rash.

(Take it to the Covid forum if you want to discuss further).

Just to be clear, I have never "served" because frankly I have never felt "servile". I am sure that some of you are submissive by nature and need to be dominated by others, or feel the need for others to tell you what to do. I think some of you are relieved that somebody else is taking responsibility for your lives. Not all of us are like that. Many people are capably of successfully running their own lives and don't need the re-assurance of someone else making the decisions for them - and yes I count myself in that number. Nor would I particularly enjoy living in the kind of poverty and squalor that many of you describe during your military careers. Anyone can be poor and dirty, but I see no need to volunteer for it. I am quite happy to have been in a comfortable, successful career earning a good deal of money in the IT departments of banking and financial organisations.

You know that old bit of doggerel about men who have never been soldier thinking less of themselves? Well it might not be welcome news to many of you, but it really isn't true. Few of us measure ourselves against others, and neither do we give a damn about your jobs, and anyone who big themselves up because they wear a special uniform when doing it, really needs to get a grip on their lives. It is unhealthy. As an example, Amazon and Eddie Stobart could probably do a more efficient and cost-effective job at running the militaries supply chain needs than they do themselves, so now I am sure some of you are purple with rage at judging themselves against a minimum-wage Amazon shelving-monkey or a lorry-driver who spends a significant portion of his wages on prostitutes.

Oh by the way, I am not stating every member of the military are poorly-educated half-wits with no social skills. Clearly there many who are fine, upstanding members of society, with good qualifications and able to speak in complete sentences. It's just there aren't that many of them in evidence on this site.

Some of you will be wondering why I post on here. Good.

Do you think I care if some of you have never had children, or have never gone through rough patches when bring them up, especially when they into their teenage years. Do I regret anything I have posted or feel humiliated when people bring it up? Nope. I suspect many of you have never had families due to a lack of motile sperm or low sperm counts and feel frustrated. In a way, I suppose it is a blessing that many of you have not reproduced because the shallow end of the gene pool has burst its banks anyway.

But we digress.

Like I say, I am not particularly bothered about what a poorly-educated, socially-inept inadequates who couldn't find work in the civilian job market think (which describes many of you, not all, but a significant number).

If this site was built as a portal so that you had to prove you were in the military before being allowed to access it for viewing and posting, the site traffic would be so low that the admins would probably have to shut it down as the advertising revenue wouldn't cover the costs of running it. That must really upset some of you. That the majority of people who keep this site viable were never in the military.

I also suspect that the majority of articulate, well-reasoned former members of the armed-forces would probably not appreciate having to spend much of their time on here with some of the thread's posters. I would suggest that having civilians on the site makes it a more tolerant place for them. Of course I don't expect agreement from the former, out of a sense of loyalty towards the latter, but it is probably more likely than not.

I'm going to continue posting on here, and I honestly don't care what your search skills pull back up. At worst, all it will lead to is being added to my ignore list not because you offend me or I feel embarrassed in any way, but simply because it smacks of a lack of imagination on your part. I don't care if you object to that. Your opinion of me is not something I lose any sleep about, and if some of you DO worry about what some strangers on the Internet think about you, again you need to grip on your life because normal people don't do that. If you really do worry about what others think about you, was that insecurity driven into you in the military, or are you just more drawn to the military lifestyle if you have that flaw in your character?

Just diverting the thread for a moment, can I point out that posting the same old things over and over again does lead me to think some of you really are starting to express symptoms of dementia. It's the same people who do it, just as they are the same people who post Monty Python quotes over and over. You really need to visit your GPs because you have forgotten you have already stated something, and doing so continuously, is something that needs looking into.

It's not something you should be embarrassed over, after all none of us is getting any younger.

I have no doubt that some will take this post as evidence of complaining (or whatever colourful words you wish to use instead), or of being drawn into your cunning trap by your ingenious logic and devious word-play. That would, of course, be a stunning lack of comprehension on your part driven by an extraordinary lack of self-awareness, not an accurate description of my message.

I have thoroughly enjoyed writing this, and I hope it gets some of the usual suspects frothing at the mouth - "Servile! Servile!" - and so on. A massive meltdown from a number of you will be entertaining.
That wooden bead drivers seat cover in your minicab-any good?
 

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