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Not pc

Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today, she shut her eyes and stopped breathing.

I thought she was dead until I saw the red spot on her forehead, and realised she was just on standby.


Just fostered a Muslim kid.

All 4 cans hit him right on the back of the head.


Got a right beating last night by a 6ft 7in black bloke

All I said was, golly you're tall.


Last week me and this Indian from work decided to have a moustache and beard growing competition.

I still can't believe she won.


They've had to cancel the pantomime 'jack & the beanstalk', in Birmingham, Oldham, Bradford, Burnley, Leicester & Luton:

because the giant couldn't smell any Englishmen.


Muslim terrorists have gone on the rampage in Bradford, killing anyone who's English.

Police fear the death toll could be as high as 5.


Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away” but since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works a treat!

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