So the girl that is living with me while my bloke is away came home this morning and informed me her Aunt was one of those shot by Mr Bird. I had a number of options as to how to react. 1. Sympathy- "awww babe, you poor thing, come here" hugs ensue and i get to feel her boobies pressed on me, winner!! 2. Anger- "OMFG, thats awful, can't believe that mad man, bla, bla, bla..." hugs ensue and i get to feel her boobies pressed on me, winner!! 3. Disbelief- " What!!? Noooooo, I don't believe it, are you ok, I'll put the kettle on..." hugs ensue and i get to feel her boobies pressed on me, winner!! But no, I am a muppet, instead I laughed and said "she can't be that much of an Aunt if you ave only just found out?" Turns out she is actually a second cousin who they call "Aunt", then she goes onto say that she is out of hospital now. "Oh she's not even dead then? Boring!" Needless to say hugs do not ensue and i do not get to feel her boobies pressed on me, loser!! Still I have the memory of barely dressed hangover cuddles in my bed that I can fall back on, this can be confirmed by an arrser who was on the phone to me during one of them when i giggled all bashfull like and and said "oh..you just touched my nipple" Anyway she's in a strop with me, plans of getting her to "help with my fake tan" i feel aren't going ahead. Clearly this is not how it should have played out. Ladies and gentlemen, your dits please, on how something didn't quite go the way you wanted it to.