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NostraDogsMus Predicts for 2009

#1
After a pleasant afternoon in this loverly Bar, I am able to pass on to you all, the predictions made by some of the retired gentry in a not so sunny Espanyol!

The decline of British manufacturing shall end and the Parasites who invest in housing shall start investing in the real production of wealth. Except of course BAE who will stop making Tanks. And all the steel mills will close..

The British youth shall take to the streets in the coming "Exceptionally Hot Summer" and the Riots will mean even more No Go areas for the Plod.

Schools will start training kids in usefull subjects like Plumbing

The Army will buy loads more LandRovers to be blown up

But Worst, Their will be a catostrophic loss of squaddies in Afg, caused by equipment failure, ie walkie not Talkie..

Loads more to come when I get back from the Bar......
 
T

trowel

Guest
#4
At least a bit of optimism in Dogs post. Good man. Not like the "Glass half empty" ssods on the Russian thread in Intelligence Cell
 
#5
Fame at last, Arsse is on the big screen above the Bar....

Now then, an Idea from the gent on my left.
The Pension funds which own so much land that has factories on, who are really in the sh1t, will start to fund the factories to help them pay the rent, Sounds sensable..
 
#7
Personal prediction, Remember, Arrse is still on the Big Screen above the bar..
Tonight, somone will 5hit on the step of the cop shop at the end of Southway Skem...
 
#8
Ross Kemp will finally come out of the closet............Oh Dear, thats from the Guy in the pink sweater...

Maybe Scottish Cammy will get the BlowJob off a Marine he allways wanted...
 
#10
seven ex pats here, all waiting for Maggie Thatcher to snuff it in 2009, we will all be back to blighty for the greatest party the (non)working class has ever seen.
 
#11
Dogshad, I second that one. I've been waiting for the event for years. I was in Sardinia when she got kicked out. My flatshare Italian came in babbling something about Maggie that I couldn't understand, so he switched on the telly and banged up an English news teletext. I think he was quite astounded when I subsequently ran out the door and came back 15 mins later with 3 bottles of 15% rose and proceeded to invite him to join a celebratory knees-up!!!!!
 
C

cloudbuster

Guest
#12
I hope someone has the foresight to bury her under a dancehall, as there's a lot of Yorkshiremen polishing up their dancing clogs............
 

Command_doh

LE
Book Reviewer
#14
zubrzycki said:
DogsHadMeTea said:
Schools will start training kids in usefull subjects like Plumbing
i believe that
Surely you meant to say knife fighting, modifying blank - firers, thievery, benefit cheating, and immorality? All so as to better aid them on lifes ladder.

Predictions;

Mugabe dies in agonizing pain, Thatcher (gawd bless her) checks out, Brucie (devestated at his lack of Knighthood) pops his clogs. Phil the Greek - I think he is marked this year too.

Russia invades Ukraine to safeguard the 'interest of ethnic Russians', we join the Euro, some massive jihadi terrorist incident happens in Western Europe (thinking Paris for some reason). General Election is called as the UK economy spirals more out of control and even the most ardent socialists realise he is a totally spakking cnut.
 
#15
The Dark Knight becomes the first comic book movie to win an Oscar(Ledger, BSA).

Al Queda spectacular somewhere in the UK.

Gordon Brown declares state of emergancy and suspends the democratic process. Names himself as "Lord High Protector".

One week later, thousands of ARRSE'r's attack the Houses of Parliment, hang, draw and quarter Brown and force Jeremy Clarkson to take over.

Israelie air strikes fail to stop Hamas firing rockets. IDF ground troops move in. After heavy casualties, both sides get p1ssed off with it and declare "victory".

Obama becomes the first black President.

The KKK join forces with Al Queda and explode a Suitcase Nuke outside the White House.
 
#17
DogsHadMeTea said:
""force Jeremy Clarkson to take over.""

Future is Bright then.....
HM: "Mr Clarkson, we herby apoint you as our Prime Minister!"

Clarkson: "But Your Majesty, I really don't want the job!"

(sound of several Gats being cocked)

Clarkson: "On second thoughts..." 8O :twisted:
 
#18
Now that the bloody Jocks have cleared off, and taken the bagpipes with them, I can here myself think again.

What are the chances of Army recruit training being handed over to the likes of Rentokill or Serco?. will they also be training the Taliban?.

and would recruits still be volunteers.

What cuts could the MOD make to reduce costs, less on big guns, ships and planes,, more on Infantry and anti aircraft stuff.

Is there a plan for a massive increase in TA. uping the age limit to 50

How about restoring the old Civil Defence, for times of crisis, like the next big bang Al K makes, because up to now the UK has only seen little bangs and Plod couldent even cope with them.
Just had a Little Bang on the other side of Spain and the only way we heard about it was from english SKY. Spanish Plod dont seem to bother at all.
and as FC says.
""Gordon Brown declares state of emergancy and suspends the democratic process"" a bit of a poke in the eye for New Labour. but as the Banks have broon by the balls anyway, would we notice..
 

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