nookie poem

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by phil245, Feb 5, 2012.

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  1. phil245

    phil245 LE Book Reviewer

    My nookie days are over
    My pilot light is out
    What used to be my sex appeal
    Is now my water spout.

    Time was when, on its own accord
    From my trousers it would spring
    But now I've got a full-time job
    To find the blasted thing.

    It used to be embarrassing
    The way it would behave
    For every single morning
    It would stand and watch me shave.

    Now as old age approaches
    It sure gives me the blues
    To see it hang its little head
    And watch me tie my shoes...






    don't know if this has been on here before, but I found it funny.
     
  2. Shame.....I thought this was a Roger de Courcey thread. (Age becomes obvious)

    However:

    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    Some poets are shite,
    And one of them's you!

    I am, though, puzzled how the author's 'old man' can watch him tying his shoe laces. Either it is as long as his leg (impressed), he is an amputee (sorry to hear that), he only wears shorts (dude, grow up), he forgot to put on his trousers (age correlation with above lament) or he left his fly open (paedo!!).
     
  3. I always thought it went...
    From 20 to 30 if a man lives right, it's once in a morning and twice at night
    From 30 to 40 if he still lives right, he misses the morning and sometimes at night.
    From 40 to 50 it's just now and then, from 50 to 60 it's God knows when.
    From 60 to 70 if he's still inclined, but don't let him kid you, it's still on his mind.
    Now his love life's over, his pilot light is out, what used to be his sex appeal is now a water spout.
    It used to be embarrassing to make the thing behave for nearly every morning it would stand and watch him shave, but now he's getting older it sure gives him the blues to see it dangle down his leg and watch him clean his shoes.
     
  4. When I was married it was sex nearly every night
    Nearly got it Monday night
    Nearly got it Tuesday night
    Nearly got it Wednesday night
    Nearly.... I think you've got it by now!!!!