Noisy hotel neighbours

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by RifleButts, Aug 5, 2012.

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  1. Being 0200, I am fairly thredders about being kept up by the gobby pair in the room next to me. Were they fucking like bunnies I may have more tolerance, but their vacant 'only way is Essex' chat at full volume is somewhat grating.

    I have now banged on their door twice, and got a barrage of abuse back. Any advice as to next course of action?
  2. Stab them. Repeatedly.
  3. I have no blade. Blunt stabbing? More mess that way...
  4. Ask them to start fucking like bunnies so you may enjoy the sound effects?

    Alternatively, call reception and report the issue.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Wow. The phone doesn't work. This is a quality hotel.
  6. Fascinating.
  7. Use your mobile to phone the old bill. Tell them you can hear the people next door making racist / sexist / homophobic / xenophobic comments. Their fucking door will be matchwood in less than 2 minutes.
    • Like Like x 3
  8. 1.) Is it a Premier Inn? If so, PM me to tell me which one.

    2.) Dial '0' on your room phone and that should connect you to reception. That's how they all work

    3.) Put on some fucking clothes, go downstairs and tell the night porter. It's his job to ask them to be quiet.

    4.) If you are in East Kilbride and it is a PI - don't come downstairs to tell the night porter as I am busy reading a thread about ghosts.
    • Like Like x 10
  9. Monotonously thump your headboard against the wall. They'll soon go quiet as they struggle to listen.
    • Like Like x 2
  10. No, seriously, all you have to do is tell the staff. They tell the people to shut up. If the people don't shut up, the staff actually have the right to evict them from the hotel. Particularly poignant if the people are shouting abuse at you for asking them to quieten down.

    Also, don't forget to complain in the morning. Guarantee you'll get your money back.
    • Like Like x 2
  11. Knock on the door and yell out that their car is being towed/on fire. When they come running out, bash cunt out of the noisy fuckers. Go to bed and sleep the sleep of the righteous.
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Download the sermons of Ian Paisley and play at full volume. This will also kill bed lice and cockroaches.
    • Like Like x 1
  13. It's been 7 hours now...

    Any chance of a sitrep?

    Did you break one of the mugs from the brew kit, go around and 'cup' them before sprinkling the contents of a teabag in to their eyes?
  14. Did you not think about calling reception and asking them to sort it out?
  15. I assume he's having a lie in. Surely he needs to vacate the room by ten?

    Where are the noisy couple when you need them?