Noisy cnt downstairs

#1
Afternoon all.

Right, so I've got this f'king noisy c'nt who lives in the flat underneath mine. I've done the usual, being nice, asking him to stop his lionel richie at 0330, even done the council complaint thing - no luck.

He stops doing it for a few weeks and starts back up again, so 'cos the coucil guidelines say "If this issue has not been resolved in two weeks..." (which thus it always has been and he keeps getting the same letter).

So, taking matters into my own hands, what can I do to get back at the f'ker?

Does super glue in the lock actualy work? That sort of thing.

(Indirect stuff mind, he's a big b'stard ;) )
 
#2
crescent said:
Afternoon all.

Right, so I've got this f'king noisy c'nt who lives in the flat underneath mine. I've done the usual, being nice, asking him to stop his lionel richie at 0330, even done the council complaint thing - no luck.

He stops doing it for a few weeks and starts back up again, so 'cos the coucil guidelines say "If this issue has not been resolved in two weeks..." (which thus it always has been and he keeps getting the same letter).

So, taking matters into my own hands, what can I do to get back at the f'ker?

Does super glue in the lock actualy work? That sort of thing.

(Indirect stuff mind, he's a big b'stard ;) )
Shite in a shoebox and set fire to it.

Or shag his wife.
 
#4
I would but he's in the same building and the floor is carpeted, plus he's got no back door as he's 2 floors up. (ooh).

He's single I'm afraid, got a dog though.
 
#5
Dale the snail said:
crescent said:
Afternoon all.

Right, so I've got this f'king noisy c'nt who lives in the flat underneath mine. I've done the usual, being nice, asking him to stop his lionel richie at 0330, even done the council complaint thing - no luck.

He stops doing it for a few weeks and starts back up again, so 'cos the coucil guidelines say "If this issue has not been resolved in two weeks..." (which thus it always has been and he keeps getting the same letter).

So, taking matters into my own hands, what can I do to get back at the f'ker?

Does super glue in the lock actualy work? That sort of thing.

(Indirect stuff mind, he's a big b'stard ;) )
Shite in a shoebox and set fire to it.

Or shag his wife.
Damn, beat me to it.
 
#6
Play your music loud at all times when your not asleep so that if he wants to sleep he has to do it when you want to.
 
#7
crescent said:
I would but he's in the same building and the floor is carpeted, plus he's got no back door as he's 2 floors up. (ooh).

He's single I'm afraid, got a dog though.
Sherbet Dibdabs to the dog then.
 
#8
How about an "accidental" leakage from your toilet? If as you say his flat is underneath yours then a bit of effluent running down the walls might be fun?

Or the slightly less nasty version, turn the bath on and let it overflow for a couple of hours and when he complains then tell him you left the flat because you needed some peace and quiet away from his fcuking music at 3 in the morning : :twisted:
 
#9
Dale the snail said:
Shite in a shoebox and set fire to it.
Yes but how will that help him with the bloke downstairs?
 
#10
Take a length of fishing line, attach a heavy(1 oz) weight to one end, lean out of window and swing lead weight through down stairs window, retrieve lead weight and line.
 
#11
tothepubandbeyond said:
Dale the snail said:
Shite in a shoebox and set fire to it.
Yes but how will that help him with the bloke downstairs?
The whiff will kill him.

Lionel Richie? I'd personally go round with an axe and chop his head off.

Single you say?
 
#12
Do what I did when my sister decided to start her piano practice at 0630 on a sunday morning.

Guitar amp turned upside down, facing the floor. Guitar plugged in, volume turned up to 10. Opening riff of 'Smoke on the Water' played with distortion and reverb cranked to full. Cue floor shaking, sister running out in tears.

Jobs a good'un
 
#14
He listens to Lionel Richie, just how dangerous can he be?
Still, if you don't want to man up and spark him out, find the incoming mains electrical distribution panel for your building and cut his supply.
He can hum "Dancing on the ceiling" by candlelight, and you can get a good nights kip.
 
#15
had the same thing many years ago.........
borrowed my dads 1812 ........
played that full blast for a few hours.......... did warn all the other tenants first though......... Have always loved that record.. was good to sit and feel the mood as the cannons went off...........my pig of a neighbour soon got the hint.......
 
#16
Its a minefield, I'm moving house 'cos of my neighbours and I'm also in a spot of bother with the custodians of the law over it too. I move next week and not a moment too soon.
 
#19
jaybee2786 said:
Tell local chavs he has been grassing them to the old bill or just bribe them to dance on his head
Or tell them he's a kiddie fiddler
 
#20
I had similar problems as the opening poster. Its impossible to reason with these people so what I did was operate a tit-for-tat policy. I invested in the biggest pc speakers I could find and every time he'd disturb me I made sure I returned the favour at the most annoying time for him as possible. It worked great. We now have an understanding and no longer want to kill each other and I discovered a practical usage for Game Theory too.

I didn't get round to finishing my research on which is more annoying: Celine Dion warbling her high-pitch crap or a fat American heavy-metal singer screaming his tits off.
 
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