Nobel Pie Prize

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rocketeer, Oct 17, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. been reading about the trio of ' economists' who have copped the latest Nobel prize for their formula for 'business theory' based on cutting up a pie.

    seems that the claim is that ' fairness' and ' agreement' can be reached if , as an example using the pie ' explains', let one person cut the pie and the other person pick the first piece.

    This seems to mean that the cuts will be more equal/fair because of enlightened self interest..the incentive to cut evenly prevents breakdown of negotiations, etc. etc..

    all seems fine in theory.. but it doesn't work at my house..My wife always cuts the pie and I always chose the smaller piece...because she's the one holding the knife...
  2. What happens if it is a beef pie and you're a vegetarian? Does the same rule apply to crumbles. There are far too many variables here, I don't see how it could work :roll:
  3. And it assumes no-ones had their fingers in their arrse prior to grabbing piece of said pie. See? This is the fundamental difference between Squaddies and civvies. We would grab a skiffing opportunity like this and exploit it. :twisted:

    edited for mong spelling.
  4. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Another variable is the one in which the missus cuts the pie, but the crust breaks up and remains larger on the piece on the left, but of course, when it is scooped out of the tray and laid on the plate, all the soft stuff inside is favoured in the piece on the right. So, what does one do when choosing (with self interest) the piece they want to take? More crust, or more meat (or vegetables if it's a vegetarian pie)?

    Self interest aside, what if the pie is gopping altogether, or cooked badly? Does self-interest come into play there, considering one might actually pick the smallest piece, or worse, the cooker of said pie cuts it unfairly in the hope that you will take the biggest piece and therefore get poisoned?

    What if the cooker of said pie has deliberately swirled the cooked pie so that all the meat is in the half he/she is going to make the smaller of the two?

    What if the cooker of the pie is looking to get rid of you and deliberately poisons the whole thing and then says "You have it honey bunny, I'm not hungry? Do you a: eat the whole pie (and die), eat a larger portion of the pie, leaving the rest in the fridge (and die), or take the smallest piece as you are a considerate soul, but dead anyway?
  5. Guys, this is pudding me off my work.
  6. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Well think of some useful input for 'starters', then you may yet get to the main course of your duties. Just an after's thought.
  7. Deerhunter, that was painful. Is it your own job or are you filling in?, is it a top crust position?, do you work with any porkers or fruits?
  8. Gents I do feel you are glazing over the issue here, these economists are plainly just trying to earn a crust by doing their job. :)
  9. Compromise by buying an apple pie, pre-filling it with j1zz'em and then telling the missus she can keep the whole fcuking thing.
  10. What if it is a McDonalds pie that has a high chance of the staff having jizzed into it with the result that nobody wants to take a piece? Bet that never came up in the research.Useless academics.
  11. anyone who can stick their kn0b in a MacD apple pie and not need a skin graft is welcome to keep the whole thing
  12. Best Steak and Ale so far has to be Crombies on Broughton Street, Edinburgh

    Anyone who eats a McDonalds pie must take in more chemicals at a Rat pack
  13. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    There is no such thing as a vegetarian pie with vegetables. Please stop making stuff up.

    If you lot ever escape the jungles and swamps you infest, and make it to civilisation, Dicksons steak pies take some beating. Work your way up to a Savloy Dip with everything on. Its not a pie but they sell them in pie shops, so it scrapes under the wire.
  14. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    So, correct me if I misunderstood your last - vegetarian pies contain vegetarians then? If so, I'll have 5.
  15. Vegetarian pies - they've been making them for years - out of such stuff as apples, blackberries, apple and blackberry, also, I believe rhubarb (when not in the mood for crumble). After all, there's no meat in the fuckers.